Letters Home

---

My most ornery creator:

There is a most wonderful invention known as a telephone that you really should look into. I know you have been restless with imaginings of what trouble might have befallen me during my journey, and I only wish I could ease your worried mind all the sooner. Rest assured, though; I have arrived in Nachton without incident, though there was a bad moment when the sedatives wore off just as we were flying over the bay.

You would have been proud, if you ever worked up the nerve to get on a plane. I hardly flinched. Should a bill for replacement armrests show up at the plantation house, do be so kind as to charge it to my account.

As you likely already observed from the envelope, I am staying at the Grand Piazza downtown. I will be sure to visit the Manor and, in turn, the library, but I find I want to enjoy the urban life for the short time I am here.

I proudly remain
Your most difficult of all creations,
Palmer Calhoun

~*~

To my impetuous creation:

I can sleep at last, knowing my spoilt child arrived safely. I most certainly will not be taking care of any bills that arrive here in your absence. That, my son, is entirely your problem.

You -will- visit the library. I have enclosed a list of books you are to read during your stay. Anantya: Conduct in the Dark Ages, should be of particular interest to you. Well do I remember the days when young and difficult creations were hung upside down by their toenails when they sassed their creators.

Of course, knowing you, I would find you three days later, singing those ridiculous top forty hits and looking for all the world as though you were hanging upside down to give your back a good stretch.

Don't think I don't know what 'enjoying the urban life' really means. I may be old and have been accused of being out of touch, but I will remind you that I am neither blind nor stupid.

I shall always be (fortunately or unfortunately),
Your creator, who saved your life and provided for you in spite of countless disappointment,
Blaine MacDougal (Ha!)

~*~

Oh Great and All Powerful Maker:

MacDougal? No, please spare me the history lesson. Let me, for a moment, enjoy the fact that you chose a new surname simply to correspond with me.

You have no idea of what 'enjoying the urban life' really means, you crusty old man, having not left the plantation house in a century. Again, allow me to believe this fiction, as the thought of you getting dressed up for a night on the town is very nearly unbearable to me.

Speaking of dressing up, though, I have just returned from selecting a new tuxedo for a charity event. It seems I am in luck and perhaps I will be finished my business in town sooner than expected, and look sharp doing it, which is nearly as important.

Fear not! You will not be long without,
Your ever adoring creation,
Palmer Calhoun

PS You called me your son twice in the first paragraph of your last correspondence. Do try not to gush, it embarrasses me.

---

To my no doubt addled Creator:

Fear not! I am okay, I repeat, I am okay! I imagine you must be overwrought with worry after hearing the news of the explosion in Nachton, but I have come through unscathed. Do not send help. Do not call for the Calvary. All of Anantya is uninjured.

The incident may, however, be the cause of some delay, as everyone is quite concerned with their building blowing up. Dreadful experience as I had to halt my advances toward the most lovely creature. Alas, had to rescue Grey from the terrible peril, leaving little time for flirtation.

I shall be brief, as I gather from your lack of missive that you have no wish to hear the myriad of gossip and intrigue I have gathered during my time here. I only wished you to know of my state of being.

I persist in being
Your very much alive creation,
Palmer Calhoun

~*~

To the cause of –all- my worries:

Overwrought indeed. You owe an apology to the lad who barged into my study to report the incident to me; if you had called more promptly with accurate information I would not have been forced to berate him. Two hours! I may be adverse to telephones but that does –not- mean I am opposed to getting news.

I don’t remember his name. He’s the little runty one with the beady eyes.

If your ‘gossip and intrigue’ is simply more details on your exploits with ‘most lovely creatures,’ spare me (and her, I might add). If, however, you have something useful to say, spit it out.

Now that you have a convenient excuse to stay out of town vacationing, oh, I mean working, I have sent along a list of a few more tasks you can do in your spare time.

I am ever more
Your Undoubtedly Addled Creator,
Blaine MacDougal