Mathias breathed slowly and methodically. Shay was not mad at him, he was just the most convient target for her wrath.
"I will have a drink with the love of my life." he said,pouring himself two fingers of the vodka.
"You have to understand love " he said,moving to sit down on the couch. "Not every vampire is as understanding as I am, or as Evenhet is rumored to be. To many of them you are precisely that - food and nothing more." It was cold,but Shay needed to be divested of her more fantastic conceptions about vampires.
" I am over a thousand years old,and I am nowhere near the oldest of our kind. They remember a time when they were worshipped as gods and have passed that view onto their children and children's children. "
He stood up and crossed over to Shay,wrapping his arms around her,feeling her tension and anger wash over him.
"What did I tell you before we left? Nothing there was real. And that is the truth - what Ellis,or how she acted...it's all a game and it does not change what you and I share,my love. you are my soulmate,not my cow,not my slave - nothing except the woman I love."
%&!#@...and then some.
Amazed at her ability to complete the entire journey back from the House of Pain in complete silence, the minute she got inside the condo she let loose with a loud, blood curdling scream. Fortunately for the neighbors, she'd taken the time to grab one of her pillows, and had placed it across her face. The noise she made, however muffled, was still a very clear indication of how frustrated and angry she was.
Once she felt there was no noise left inside her, she threw herself down onto the couch and stared at Mathias. She still hugged the pillow to her, gripping it so hard that her knuckles were bloodless.
"Mathias...how...I mean, you...and well, the clan...my god, it is the twenty first century! And it's...well Ellis...she's just...ARRRGGHHHH!!!"
Her anger wouldn't let her form the words...this was just not how life was
now...Nachton or no...vampires or humans...Ellis and what she proposed was...it was just barbaric.
"I cannot fathom how vampires and humans have coexisted as long as they have, when you...THEY treat us...like...animals! Cattle...we're cattle...kept around to be milked when the need is there, and expected to quietly chew our cud while we wait for the next milking!"
It wasn't fair to Mathias, for her to include him in her tirade, and she really hadn't. But her anger had precluded her from stating that he was the exception...
And then she was standing again...pacing...the pillow in her hands she kept trying to rip apart. Her eyes flashing, as they darted around the room, trying to light on something long enough to allow her to focus. But her mind was a tumultuous mess.
"A drink...I need a drink..."Â?
And she needed another cigarette, and she needed Mathias. But she could focus on only one thing at a time. She moved into the kitchen, and carefully pulled the bottle of Laphroaig from her cabinet. The scotch was over thirty years old, and had been given to her father by someone he'd done some legal work for. Fortunately for Shay, her father didn't drink scotch, so without a thought he handed the bottle over to her...even after she told him it had to have cost over $500. The bottle was two thirds full, and Shay normally only drank it on the most special of occasions,
but in a sense, today she was celebrating...becoming a familiar...a pet...an item of
chattel, she thought bitterly.
She also pulled out a newer bottle, of as yet unopened Chopin vodka. Not really having been much of a vodka drinker, Shay had done a small bit of research on the alcohol and come to the conclusion this was one of the world's best. Truthfully, she wasn't sure if Mathias actually drank. Though he'd bought her drinks before, now that she thought about it, had she ever seen him drink? But if he wanted it, it was there. The bucket of ice in the freezer was also set out, and the bottle of vodka shoved unceremoniously into the bucket. All her movements were precise, if not
graceful, and being quiet was of little concern, as she slammed things around.
Finally, she poured two fingers of scotch into a glass, and held up the other glass towards Mathias.
"Surely you'll have a drink with your cow?"Â?
It was the bitter way she said it that shook her, when she heard the words coming from her mouth. Then she gasped, set both glasses down, and collapsed onto the counter, arms over her head.
"I'm sorry."Â?
Mathias
19 years ago
Shay
19 years ago
So much of what he now said, he'd said before. She had listened to him then, but apparently didn't truly hear everything he'd said. That, or maybe a part of her had blocked it out. It had been a lot to take in, and the whole concept was so foreign, and new to her. Who could have blamed her.
She did see the folly in it now though.
When he hugged her, she turned in his arms, and wrapped her own around him. Whatever he was, whoever he was, he was still the man she loved, and she welcomed his support, his quiet strength, his love.
"How have you done it my love...a thousand years! What things you've seen...and the changes. How do you keep up with it all?"
And it broke her heart to think of him going through it alone. No one to share the wonder of all the changes with. NO one to discuss the confusion many of the changes had to reveal. Though she knew she would have been jealous of anyone else having her place before, she would have dealt with the jealousy to know he hadn't been alone.
A thousand years... It was no wonder she hadn't grasped it...unless you actually experienced it, who could.
Yet beyond that, the issue of perpetuating their beliefs still sounded hollow to Shay.
"Seeing and remembering a time thousands of years ago, continuing to live that way? Mathias, I don't see any of them living as they did thousands of years ago. They've been able to adjust to the technology of the day but not to the ideals?
You have changed...you do not see me as a man of three thousand years ago would see his woman. It is incongruous to come so far in one arena, and not the other.
Why..."
As it dawned on her that she was expecting much to much of this man, she let her next question go. She could see the strain on his face, and she knew what they had just experienced hadn't been much better for him.
Unfortunately, he was the only person she had to ask these things of. So she would need to slow down, and try not be so frantic.
Taking her drink in one hand, and his hand in the other, Shay walked back to the couch, and sat down. Curling one leg under her, she turned towards him, and smiled, as she softly caressed his cheek with the backs of her fingers.
"Are the clans so different then? Can you explain them to me...and why, if other clans are less violent, you belong to Tacharan? Didn't you say you did belong to another one at one time...Anantya? Are they less angry...do any of the clans value humans? Are all the clans ruled by one...are none of them democratic?"
Whatever the vampires were doing, it was obviously the reason their race had survived over...three thousand years. Yet she refused to think it was because they all behaved as Ellis commanded.
She did see the folly in it now though.
When he hugged her, she turned in his arms, and wrapped her own around him. Whatever he was, whoever he was, he was still the man she loved, and she welcomed his support, his quiet strength, his love.
"How have you done it my love...a thousand years! What things you've seen...and the changes. How do you keep up with it all?"
And it broke her heart to think of him going through it alone. No one to share the wonder of all the changes with. NO one to discuss the confusion many of the changes had to reveal. Though she knew she would have been jealous of anyone else having her place before, she would have dealt with the jealousy to know he hadn't been alone.
A thousand years... It was no wonder she hadn't grasped it...unless you actually experienced it, who could.
Yet beyond that, the issue of perpetuating their beliefs still sounded hollow to Shay.
"Seeing and remembering a time thousands of years ago, continuing to live that way? Mathias, I don't see any of them living as they did thousands of years ago. They've been able to adjust to the technology of the day but not to the ideals?
You have changed...you do not see me as a man of three thousand years ago would see his woman. It is incongruous to come so far in one arena, and not the other.
Why..."
As it dawned on her that she was expecting much to much of this man, she let her next question go. She could see the strain on his face, and she knew what they had just experienced hadn't been much better for him.
Unfortunately, he was the only person she had to ask these things of. So she would need to slow down, and try not be so frantic.
Taking her drink in one hand, and his hand in the other, Shay walked back to the couch, and sat down. Curling one leg under her, she turned towards him, and smiled, as she softly caressed his cheek with the backs of her fingers.
"Are the clans so different then? Can you explain them to me...and why, if other clans are less violent, you belong to Tacharan? Didn't you say you did belong to another one at one time...Anantya? Are they less angry...do any of the clans value humans? Are all the clans ruled by one...are none of them democratic?"
Whatever the vampires were doing, it was obviously the reason their race had survived over...three thousand years. Yet she refused to think it was because they all behaved as Ellis commanded.
Mathias
19 years ago
" I have not been alone - although I will grant this has a been a far lonelier existence than it could have been. In many ways I chose this path...though some would say it chose me." He remembered Vienna,and the aftermath. Of course he could have stayed anantya and accepted both their judgement and his punishment. But he was in far too much pain from losing her to do that. And truth be told Mathias didn't think he would have anyhow - he was wronged and their rules be damned!
Mathias realized how he must look to Shay and quickly calmed down. "Perhaps it was my creator and mentor Lucian. He had seen Rome grow into the empire that spanned the known world and collapse and split. He said it gave him perspective on the nature of change." Lucian often spoke of the glory that was Rome. And Mathias remember too,the pain in his voice as he described what Rome became. "And as I was from Contantinople,arguably the finest city in the world at that time - well then maybe I wasn't as tied to what most considered the way to behave."
"But I can understamd.if not agree with why some cling to outdated beliefs. Jesu knows I do - Come on Shay,how many in this day and age still believe in honor,righteous action and chivalry? " Granted,he was a hired killer who believed in that - but he still believed in it and tried to live as close to it as possible. "In circumstances that frighten you, one clings to what is known and provides a comfort. So it is with many ancients. What they knew when breathing makes all the change seem not so scary - they can pretend it is the same as their breathing days."
"For me - the code I follow,the beliefs I have made the long road more bearable. and when I lost it all - that code was part of what helped me remember who I was and regain what was gone." Yes - when Ellis found him he had been a beast almost. Killing indiscriminately,draining his victims. so many victims...so many sins to atone for. she helped him focus his anger and rage and through that focus he took back his honor.
Mathias closed his eyes and smiled. shay's curiousity and thirst for knowledge mirrored his and the sensation fo her fingers along his cheek sent shivers along his spine. " Anantya is the oldest,and thus the most tradition bound. They are not...pro-human...to the extent Evenhet is,and yet humans are not simply cattle to them either. As I said, Evenhet has the most progressive outlook regarding the vampiric relationship with humans, working alongside them and trying to rpomote a sense of togetherness. Tacharan...well we Tacharan are the outcasts and rebels of vampire society. Only the clanless rogues are regarded worse than we. And with our "rebel" attitude comes those who feel we are predators to the humans prey. Not one I share obviously,but youth can sometimes be foolish. They see ellis and how she acts and wish to emulate her - be as hard as she is. But they fail to understand her circumstances,what drove her to be the way she is and so they fail miserably."
((OOC -Mathias' statements regarding the clans is his opinion and conjecture not to be taken as fact))
Mathias realized how he must look to Shay and quickly calmed down. "Perhaps it was my creator and mentor Lucian. He had seen Rome grow into the empire that spanned the known world and collapse and split. He said it gave him perspective on the nature of change." Lucian often spoke of the glory that was Rome. And Mathias remember too,the pain in his voice as he described what Rome became. "And as I was from Contantinople,arguably the finest city in the world at that time - well then maybe I wasn't as tied to what most considered the way to behave."
"But I can understamd.if not agree with why some cling to outdated beliefs. Jesu knows I do - Come on Shay,how many in this day and age still believe in honor,righteous action and chivalry? " Granted,he was a hired killer who believed in that - but he still believed in it and tried to live as close to it as possible. "In circumstances that frighten you, one clings to what is known and provides a comfort. So it is with many ancients. What they knew when breathing makes all the change seem not so scary - they can pretend it is the same as their breathing days."
"For me - the code I follow,the beliefs I have made the long road more bearable. and when I lost it all - that code was part of what helped me remember who I was and regain what was gone." Yes - when Ellis found him he had been a beast almost. Killing indiscriminately,draining his victims. so many victims...so many sins to atone for. she helped him focus his anger and rage and through that focus he took back his honor.
Mathias closed his eyes and smiled. shay's curiousity and thirst for knowledge mirrored his and the sensation fo her fingers along his cheek sent shivers along his spine. " Anantya is the oldest,and thus the most tradition bound. They are not...pro-human...to the extent Evenhet is,and yet humans are not simply cattle to them either. As I said, Evenhet has the most progressive outlook regarding the vampiric relationship with humans, working alongside them and trying to rpomote a sense of togetherness. Tacharan...well we Tacharan are the outcasts and rebels of vampire society. Only the clanless rogues are regarded worse than we. And with our "rebel" attitude comes those who feel we are predators to the humans prey. Not one I share obviously,but youth can sometimes be foolish. They see ellis and how she acts and wish to emulate her - be as hard as she is. But they fail to understand her circumstances,what drove her to be the way she is and so they fail miserably."
((OOC -Mathias' statements regarding the clans is his opinion and conjecture not to be taken as fact))
Shay
19 years ago
He hadn't been alone, that was good. Shay truly was glad to know he'd been able to share his live with people. She still thought it sad to think how many women he must have lived 'through'...watching as each one aged, and died, for surely had he loved another vampire they would be here still?
She just couldn't grasp that though...loving, and losing so many times.
Hearing Mathias speak of things that occurred so very long ago, sounded so surreal to Shay. It was almost as if he was explaining a movie
The explanation for why they...the vampires...had resisted change, made sense. She understood fear, and holding onto familiarity as a means of staving off that fear. On one hand it had been easy to think that vampires were these people who were fearless, but she was seeing how they had their frailties, and failings in their vampire lives, just as they must have in their human lives.
And that Mathias had held on to those traits that really were scarce by todays standards, and that those traits were part of what she loved about him, also helped her understand. Maybe that was one reason why she had fallen for him so swiftly...he was just unlike any man she'd ever met before.
It was his explanation of the clans though, that brought her back to the present. Evenhet sounded like the clan they should all strive to belong to. Though the fact that Anantya was 'somewhat' pro-human, made it even more appealing than Tacharan.
"But Mathias...you being the man you are...with your honor, and your strength, your convictions, and goodness...why would you have chosen to align yourself with those who are so callous to humans. That's what I don't understand...you don't belong in that group...can't you just...change clans? I guess I understand your allegiance to Ellis, to an extent. If she was there for you when you needed someone like that...but do you owe her, and Tacharan the rest of your years...forever?"
Things would be so much more palatable, if they belonged to Evenhet...at least in Shay's eyes. It was obvious to her though that things undoubtedly just didn't work like that. She needed to understand better why, and how they did work. She, herself, was now aligned with Tacharan, and that thought scared her terribly. Sure Ellis had told her she was now protected by the clan, and there would be repercussions to anyone who disregarded her clan affiliation. However, that was little consolation. She belonged to a clan that had to be the most hated of the clans...should someone kill her, the fact that the clan would be there to avenge her death, just didn't seem to matter much.
She moved over to Mathias, and curled her body against his. She needed to feel him close to her, it gave her comfort...HE gave her strength, and she needed that now to help her understand. She also needed him to know that even with all her doubts, and desires for things to be different, she still loved him...warts and all.
She just couldn't grasp that though...loving, and losing so many times.
Hearing Mathias speak of things that occurred so very long ago, sounded so surreal to Shay. It was almost as if he was explaining a movie
The explanation for why they...the vampires...had resisted change, made sense. She understood fear, and holding onto familiarity as a means of staving off that fear. On one hand it had been easy to think that vampires were these people who were fearless, but she was seeing how they had their frailties, and failings in their vampire lives, just as they must have in their human lives.
And that Mathias had held on to those traits that really were scarce by todays standards, and that those traits were part of what she loved about him, also helped her understand. Maybe that was one reason why she had fallen for him so swiftly...he was just unlike any man she'd ever met before.
It was his explanation of the clans though, that brought her back to the present. Evenhet sounded like the clan they should all strive to belong to. Though the fact that Anantya was 'somewhat' pro-human, made it even more appealing than Tacharan.
"But Mathias...you being the man you are...with your honor, and your strength, your convictions, and goodness...why would you have chosen to align yourself with those who are so callous to humans. That's what I don't understand...you don't belong in that group...can't you just...change clans? I guess I understand your allegiance to Ellis, to an extent. If she was there for you when you needed someone like that...but do you owe her, and Tacharan the rest of your years...forever?"
Things would be so much more palatable, if they belonged to Evenhet...at least in Shay's eyes. It was obvious to her though that things undoubtedly just didn't work like that. She needed to understand better why, and how they did work. She, herself, was now aligned with Tacharan, and that thought scared her terribly. Sure Ellis had told her she was now protected by the clan, and there would be repercussions to anyone who disregarded her clan affiliation. However, that was little consolation. She belonged to a clan that had to be the most hated of the clans...should someone kill her, the fact that the clan would be there to avenge her death, just didn't seem to matter much.
She moved over to Mathias, and curled her body against his. She needed to feel him close to her, it gave her comfort...HE gave her strength, and she needed that now to help her understand. She also needed him to know that even with all her doubts, and desires for things to be different, she still loved him...warts and all.
Mathias
19 years ago
"When wishes to preach, do you go to the congregation to convert or do you walk among the heathens?" In many ways, Mathias felt like a missionary. He hoped to curb some of the more..violent..aspects of Tacharan,providing an example of how one can be a warrior and still live an honorable path.
"Besides,the vast majority of Tacharan are not violent psychotics. We have some fringe elements to be sure,but many Tacharan are closer to me than you might imagine. we have a lot of younger vampires and those embraced in the last century - the clan tends to reflect that. and again, it is not that Tacharan is anti-human or even more callous. Ellis has a different view on human - vampire relations than Alfarinn but she treats Carol well enough." Mathias sighed, he was no good at explaining the clan's stands on humans - which tended to vary with each vampire. "Tacharan doesn't really have a "stand" per say, it really is an individual decision."
Shay's warmth and weight on him could not entirely dispel the chill he felt as the subject of clans and leaving was once again broached. "It is not so easy as that,love. One does not simply pick up and go and a clan does not simply let someone go." Unless it is you,and you face exile anyhow,Annabelle's voice reminded him.
"And we would not be assured that Evenhet would take us in,or even want the trouble of dealing with us. No,love of my life,Tacharan is home and we must make the best of what troubles you - together." He snuggled close to Shay,kissing the top of her head softly. It was not so easy to explain why he felt the loyalty to Ellis,even to himself every so often.
"I will try to explain about ellis,Shay. Please understand if it is difficult for me to remember those days - I was not the man you see now." Talk about understatement! For a LONG time Mathias was an indiscriminate killer,slaying and draining as he wished. Even now he was haunted by those acts and he gave a shudder.
"Ellis found me,and instead of slaying me as she should have,took me in and gave me a purpose. She helped me to focus all the rage and pain I felt and had unleashed on the world. Ellis showed me how to use that to become a better warrior to become one of her Mercs. And through that focus I began to rediscover who I was,what I stood for and what I believed. Mathias the Clanless,Mathias the Slayer,Mathias with hands of blood - they ceased to be. I became Mathias of Tacharan, a killer to be sure,but a killer with honor and purpose. No longer the ragged beast I was." He kissed Shay,gently and softly and full of the love he felt for her.
"In many ways,Ellis helped me to become who I am now - the man you love."
((OOC-All statements regarding clan stance on humans is strictly Mathias' opinion))
"Besides,the vast majority of Tacharan are not violent psychotics. We have some fringe elements to be sure,but many Tacharan are closer to me than you might imagine. we have a lot of younger vampires and those embraced in the last century - the clan tends to reflect that. and again, it is not that Tacharan is anti-human or even more callous. Ellis has a different view on human - vampire relations than Alfarinn but she treats Carol well enough." Mathias sighed, he was no good at explaining the clan's stands on humans - which tended to vary with each vampire. "Tacharan doesn't really have a "stand" per say, it really is an individual decision."
Shay's warmth and weight on him could not entirely dispel the chill he felt as the subject of clans and leaving was once again broached. "It is not so easy as that,love. One does not simply pick up and go and a clan does not simply let someone go." Unless it is you,and you face exile anyhow,Annabelle's voice reminded him.
"And we would not be assured that Evenhet would take us in,or even want the trouble of dealing with us. No,love of my life,Tacharan is home and we must make the best of what troubles you - together." He snuggled close to Shay,kissing the top of her head softly. It was not so easy to explain why he felt the loyalty to Ellis,even to himself every so often.
"I will try to explain about ellis,Shay. Please understand if it is difficult for me to remember those days - I was not the man you see now." Talk about understatement! For a LONG time Mathias was an indiscriminate killer,slaying and draining as he wished. Even now he was haunted by those acts and he gave a shudder.
"Ellis found me,and instead of slaying me as she should have,took me in and gave me a purpose. She helped me to focus all the rage and pain I felt and had unleashed on the world. Ellis showed me how to use that to become a better warrior to become one of her Mercs. And through that focus I began to rediscover who I was,what I stood for and what I believed. Mathias the Clanless,Mathias the Slayer,Mathias with hands of blood - they ceased to be. I became Mathias of Tacharan, a killer to be sure,but a killer with honor and purpose. No longer the ragged beast I was." He kissed Shay,gently and softly and full of the love he felt for her.
"In many ways,Ellis helped me to become who I am now - the man you love."
((OOC-All statements regarding clan stance on humans is strictly Mathias' opinion))
Shay
19 years ago
He had made a very good point. Strong leaders with rational minds, and the conviction to make things better would be important, even necessary to a new clan. She had seen first hand how a few dedicated peace officers had been able to get into some of the most heinous gangs, and make changes for the good. The process worked even better if the main leaders themselves were a bit off. And even though she would forever be grateful to Ellis for being there for Mathias, the woman was still a serious wack job, as far as Shay thought. Shay had only had a glimpse of Ellis, and in all fairness probably shouldn't judge her until she had the opportunity to know her better. However, Shay knew well enough, that wasn't going to happen.
His talk of being so different...not the man he was now...the killings - then and now...wasn't very difficult for Shay to accept.
She had seen people change. If the desire was there, people could do just about anything they wanted. She was also an advocate of rehabilitation, such as the programs they had in prisons. She believed people had the ability to turn their lives around and live in harmony with the rest of society, if they wanted to badly enough.
The killings weren't that hard for her to deal with either. Killing in self defense, or to protect, were both justifiable, in her mind. Killing in the heat of passion, or in a moment of recklessness were not, but at least they didn't indicate to her that the perpetrator was inherently bad, and gave her the hope they could possibly be redeemed.
Killing of children, innocents, for no reason at all - that was the killing Shay could not abide, under any circumstance, and those were the people she thought should be put down without a second thought.
"I won't argue that point with you. I will owe Ellis for the salvation you say she gave you, but not for who you are inside. Nothing would ever make me believe that the Mathias who is here with me now, was a result of Ellis. Whatever you have lived through...horrors created by your own hands...I will never believe that had you been allowed the choice of living what you feel here..."
And she rubbed her hand in soft circles on his chest, above his heart.
"...you would have taken the exact route you did. The man I love now, is who was in the man back in time...even if he was hidden for a while.
A man who didn't care, wouldn't be so concerned, even now, for his actions. Yet I can see they still haunt you."
Her fingers traced the faint, hardly visible lines around his mouth, forehead, and eyes. Lines she felt had been brought on by self loathing, despair, and torment over his much less than honorable deeds.
"You are lucky, in a way, that you still have time to atone. And through the actions I've seen in the man...Alexei, or Mathias...I've seen how important that is to you. That is your redemption, and a wonderfully honorable path to be traveling now."
She was tired, much too much had been given to her to assimilate in such a short amount of time.
But her concern for Mathias was foremost. She didn't want him thinking about the past any more than he had to. The future, in her eyes, was so much brighter, and hopeful. She wanted to see lines on his face created by laughter, and joy...like the lines she hoped to garner as she aged.
"Speaking of beasts...the only one I've seen around here lately, is one I've grown immensely fond of, and do hope to have the opportunity to see more often than not."
She needed to tease him now...to try and move away from the gloom and doom of what could too easily become their way of life. She smiled as she stared into his eyes, needing him to ease up on himself, even more than she thought he had already done. She didn't expect it to happen while she looked at him, but she hope through their shared love, he could reach a point where he would totally forgive himself.
"Grrrr...." She lightly growled into his ear.
"For that beast has awakened the one in me...and I rather like her, as well."
His talk of being so different...not the man he was now...the killings - then and now...wasn't very difficult for Shay to accept.
She had seen people change. If the desire was there, people could do just about anything they wanted. She was also an advocate of rehabilitation, such as the programs they had in prisons. She believed people had the ability to turn their lives around and live in harmony with the rest of society, if they wanted to badly enough.
The killings weren't that hard for her to deal with either. Killing in self defense, or to protect, were both justifiable, in her mind. Killing in the heat of passion, or in a moment of recklessness were not, but at least they didn't indicate to her that the perpetrator was inherently bad, and gave her the hope they could possibly be redeemed.
Killing of children, innocents, for no reason at all - that was the killing Shay could not abide, under any circumstance, and those were the people she thought should be put down without a second thought.
"I won't argue that point with you. I will owe Ellis for the salvation you say she gave you, but not for who you are inside. Nothing would ever make me believe that the Mathias who is here with me now, was a result of Ellis. Whatever you have lived through...horrors created by your own hands...I will never believe that had you been allowed the choice of living what you feel here..."
And she rubbed her hand in soft circles on his chest, above his heart.
"...you would have taken the exact route you did. The man I love now, is who was in the man back in time...even if he was hidden for a while.
A man who didn't care, wouldn't be so concerned, even now, for his actions. Yet I can see they still haunt you."
Her fingers traced the faint, hardly visible lines around his mouth, forehead, and eyes. Lines she felt had been brought on by self loathing, despair, and torment over his much less than honorable deeds.
"You are lucky, in a way, that you still have time to atone. And through the actions I've seen in the man...Alexei, or Mathias...I've seen how important that is to you. That is your redemption, and a wonderfully honorable path to be traveling now."
She was tired, much too much had been given to her to assimilate in such a short amount of time.
But her concern for Mathias was foremost. She didn't want him thinking about the past any more than he had to. The future, in her eyes, was so much brighter, and hopeful. She wanted to see lines on his face created by laughter, and joy...like the lines she hoped to garner as she aged.
"Speaking of beasts...the only one I've seen around here lately, is one I've grown immensely fond of, and do hope to have the opportunity to see more often than not."
She needed to tease him now...to try and move away from the gloom and doom of what could too easily become their way of life. She smiled as she stared into his eyes, needing him to ease up on himself, even more than she thought he had already done. She didn't expect it to happen while she looked at him, but she hope through their shared love, he could reach a point where he would totally forgive himself.
"Grrrr...." She lightly growled into his ear.
"For that beast has awakened the one in me...and I rather like her, as well."
Mathias
19 years ago
"Well, I think your opinion is baised love...after all,you are completely smitten with me." Mathias wished he could get Shay to understand,and yet...she did have valid points. However,Mathias was too weary to discuss ti further,this evening had been a drain on both he and Shay.
And so he was glad when the talked changed from that of Ellis and the debt he owed her to debates of a more carnal nature. He took her hand in his,soft kisses trailing from her palm down her arm,stopping as he moved onto her soft,giving lips. His hands rubbed her shoulders as the kisses became more insistent,their tongues darting and dancing around one another. Whispered words,exchanged in the growing passion were the music accompaning their movements.
Mathias smiled,growling in response to hers. His teeth nipped the soft flesh of her throat as they continued to press against one another. In a swift movement,Mathias shifted positions,pressing his hands over Shays. she was beneath him now,and Mathias' voice was a hoarse whisper from behind in her ear.
"How badly do you want to see the beat?" He said,his hand already pushing up her dress
And so he was glad when the talked changed from that of Ellis and the debt he owed her to debates of a more carnal nature. He took her hand in his,soft kisses trailing from her palm down her arm,stopping as he moved onto her soft,giving lips. His hands rubbed her shoulders as the kisses became more insistent,their tongues darting and dancing around one another. Whispered words,exchanged in the growing passion were the music accompaning their movements.
"Speaking of beasts...the only one I've seen around here lately, is one I've grown immensely fond of, and do hope to have the opportunity to see more often than not."
"Grrrr...." She lightly growled into his ear.
"For that beast has awakened the one in me...and I rather like her, as well."
Mathias smiled,growling in response to hers. His teeth nipped the soft flesh of her throat as they continued to press against one another. In a swift movement,Mathias shifted positions,pressing his hands over Shays. she was beneath him now,and Mathias' voice was a hoarse whisper from behind in her ear.
"How badly do you want to see the beat?" He said,his hand already pushing up her dress
Shay
19 years ago
Of course her opinions were biased, but that didn't mean they were wrong, she thought, and grinned inwardly.
Her mention of their mutual beasts, she figured would be a prelude to an activity as stimulating as their discussion had been, but fun as well. And Mathias, being the brilliantly minded man that he was, was quick to join her in thinking along those lines. In fact, before she knew it they were kissing, and then even more quickly, she was lying with her stomach pressed into the couch, and Mathias behind her doing the most sensational things with his hands, on her backside.
This was the main reason Shay had chosen the white suede sofas. She had thought about leather, and then when she thought about how cold and sticky they could be, she'd gone with the suede. Now, as her cheek was pressed against it, the softness lent itself to the whole pleasurable sensation, much better than she thought leather would have.
She reached behind and grabbed the hem of her dress, as Mathias pushed it upwards. Lifting herself up onto her elbows, she pulled the material over her head, and then shifted a bit until she could maneuver it out from under herself fully. At that point it was flung...where, she wasn't concerned.
Whether it was because she had been so angry, only a short time earlier, or because she seemed to feel herself in an almost constant state of arousal around Mathias, the end result was the same. She wanted him. And being in the position she was in now, only heightened that need. There was something...submissive about her current position, that she found strangely erotic. Yet, for all her fears of not being an equal partner in their relationship...she didn't mind this feeling in the least. In fact, it only sparked an idea within her, as to how she might be able to reciprocate the experience one day.
"As badly as you want to show him to me, love. Let him loose...I'm not afraid of him."
Her mention of their mutual beasts, she figured would be a prelude to an activity as stimulating as their discussion had been, but fun as well. And Mathias, being the brilliantly minded man that he was, was quick to join her in thinking along those lines. In fact, before she knew it they were kissing, and then even more quickly, she was lying with her stomach pressed into the couch, and Mathias behind her doing the most sensational things with his hands, on her backside.
This was the main reason Shay had chosen the white suede sofas. She had thought about leather, and then when she thought about how cold and sticky they could be, she'd gone with the suede. Now, as her cheek was pressed against it, the softness lent itself to the whole pleasurable sensation, much better than she thought leather would have.
She reached behind and grabbed the hem of her dress, as Mathias pushed it upwards. Lifting herself up onto her elbows, she pulled the material over her head, and then shifted a bit until she could maneuver it out from under herself fully. At that point it was flung...where, she wasn't concerned.
Whether it was because she had been so angry, only a short time earlier, or because she seemed to feel herself in an almost constant state of arousal around Mathias, the end result was the same. She wanted him. And being in the position she was in now, only heightened that need. There was something...submissive about her current position, that she found strangely erotic. Yet, for all her fears of not being an equal partner in their relationship...she didn't mind this feeling in the least. In fact, it only sparked an idea within her, as to how she might be able to reciprocate the experience one day.
"As badly as you want to show him to me, love. Let him loose...I'm not afraid of him."
Mathias
19 years ago
As Shay finished removing her dress,so too was Mathias eliminating his restrictive clothing. The woman wanted to see his animal side, to feel the beast within and Mathias intended to do precisely that.
"Perhaps you should be..." He growled in her ear,his now extended fangs lightly brushing against her flesh. He ached with need,with an overwhelming desire to be with Shay...but restraining himself only intensified that feeling. His fingers danced inside Shay,as his other hand reached around to roughly tease her nipples.
"Tell me what you want Shay" His voice rough,his hands clamped tightly over hers. Mathias' hardness brushed her cleft,tantalizingly close. But he made no move to enter her,to share the passion they both felt. No,she needed to ache with the same delicious torment Mathias felt - he wanted her crazy from want.
Kisses rained down her spine as Mathias increased the torture, teasing her opening with the head,barely inside her before pulling away. He knew what buttons to push and with some concentration his heightened sense showed him exactly when to push them.
"Tell me"
"As badly as you want to show him to me, love. Let him loose...I'm not afraid of him."
"Perhaps you should be..." He growled in her ear,his now extended fangs lightly brushing against her flesh. He ached with need,with an overwhelming desire to be with Shay...but restraining himself only intensified that feeling. His fingers danced inside Shay,as his other hand reached around to roughly tease her nipples.
"Tell me what you want Shay" His voice rough,his hands clamped tightly over hers. Mathias' hardness brushed her cleft,tantalizingly close. But he made no move to enter her,to share the passion they both felt. No,she needed to ache with the same delicious torment Mathias felt - he wanted her crazy from want.
Kisses rained down her spine as Mathias increased the torture, teasing her opening with the head,barely inside her before pulling away. He knew what buttons to push and with some concentration his heightened sense showed him exactly when to push them.
"Tell me"
Shay
19 years ago
Anticipation was an exhilarating feeling. Shay's entire body felt raw with need, desire, a glorious tingle covered her, as she waited poised on the edge of a great precipice. Waiting for Mathias to give her the push she needed to scale the mountain, and fly over the peak.
"Should I Mathias...should I fear the pleasure you give me. I already feel am incomplete without you. Will I reach a point that I will cease to exist, if you are not at my side?
His teeth on her neck gave her a sharp and electrified jolt of pleasure, which in turn caused her nipples to tighten, and her kegels to clench.
As his fingers squeezed the buds atop her breasts, and moved to thrust into her at the same time, she cried out, and again bit her bottom lip to try and control her shouts of bliss. His touch was rougher than before, but welcome. Tonight had been merciless, and that their lovemaking follow along those lines, seemed fitting.
She felt him press between her legs, and begin to join with her, only to tease her, and withdraw. She whimpered, and tried to push back onto him herself.
"Touch me, Mathias. Touch me hard. Put your cock into me...all the way...your teasing is making me crazy..."
Had she been physically able to grab hold of him, she would have done so gladly. But in her current position, it was impossible. Her plea now was a bit more of a whine.
One hand moved under her body, and pushed his hand to maul her breast. Her other hand moved between her legs. She decided she would finish what he started, if he continued to excruciate her in this manner. It seemed when it came to making love with Mathias, any control she thought was there, had been a complete illusion. He barely needed to kiss her...touch her throat...breath words of love into her ear, before she could almost taste her climax.
The tender way his lips felt against her back, only served to make the other sensations even that much more poignant.
Her breathing was ragged, and coming now in rhythmic gasps. She ground her hips forward into the couch, and tried to assuage the pain between her legs. She was at the point of needing him inside her now. So strongly was that need, that without him filling her, she truly did feel only a part of herself.
"Fill me my love...make me a part of you...come into me, and make us whole. Love me Mathias, I need you now...PLEASE!"
And again she opened her legs, as wide as she could, and pushed back towards him. Her hands were now at her sides, nails digging into her palms, wanting to feel him, but unable to move until she achieved her goal.
Her beast
"Perhaps you should be..."
Anticipation was an exhilarating feeling. Shay's entire body felt raw with need, desire, a glorious tingle covered her, as she waited poised on the edge of a great precipice. Waiting for Mathias to give her the push she needed to scale the mountain, and fly over the peak.
"Should I Mathias...should I fear the pleasure you give me. I already feel am incomplete without you. Will I reach a point that I will cease to exist, if you are not at my side?
His teeth on her neck gave her a sharp and electrified jolt of pleasure, which in turn caused her nipples to tighten, and her kegels to clench.
As his fingers squeezed the buds atop her breasts, and moved to thrust into her at the same time, she cried out, and again bit her bottom lip to try and control her shouts of bliss. His touch was rougher than before, but welcome. Tonight had been merciless, and that their lovemaking follow along those lines, seemed fitting.
Her tormentor
"Tell me what you want Shay"
She felt him press between her legs, and begin to join with her, only to tease her, and withdraw. She whimpered, and tried to push back onto him herself.
"Touch me, Mathias. Touch me hard. Put your cock into me...all the way...your teasing is making me crazy..."
Had she been physically able to grab hold of him, she would have done so gladly. But in her current position, it was impossible. Her plea now was a bit more of a whine.
One hand moved under her body, and pushed his hand to maul her breast. Her other hand moved between her legs. She decided she would finish what he started, if he continued to excruciate her in this manner. It seemed when it came to making love with Mathias, any control she thought was there, had been a complete illusion. He barely needed to kiss her...touch her throat...breath words of love into her ear, before she could almost taste her climax.
The tender way his lips felt against her back, only served to make the other sensations even that much more poignant.
Her lover
"Tell me"
Her breathing was ragged, and coming now in rhythmic gasps. She ground her hips forward into the couch, and tried to assuage the pain between her legs. She was at the point of needing him inside her now. So strongly was that need, that without him filling her, she truly did feel only a part of herself.
"Fill me my love...make me a part of you...come into me, and make us whole. Love me Mathias, I need you now...PLEASE!"
And again she opened her legs, as wide as she could, and pushed back towards him. Her hands were now at her sides, nails digging into her palms, wanting to feel him, but unable to move until she achieved her goal.
Mathias
19 years ago
That was all Mathias needed to hear. With those words Shay had played his little game to fulfillment and Mathias intended to reward her. In one thrust Mathias entered her fully,gasping yet again from the pleasure doing so gave him. He stopped,savoring the wonderful feeling being inside Shay gave him.
Still holding his hands over hers,Mathias began moving. He'd pull back,almost leaving Shay before thrusting again to fill her. These were not fast strokes,he intended to take his time for now and relish the sensations. His breath was warm on Shay's neck,tongue flicking out to taste the sweat dappling her form.
He had always been sharing,giving - but Mathias found he enjoyed dominating Shay as well. Not controlling her as Ellis had inferred but being the alpha. This was a game he and Shay played,and he loved her for it.
With one hand he brought Shay's hands forward,holding them in front of her. His other hand tangled itself in her hair as his thrusts began arriving faster but still as deep as before. Mathias voice was primal now,coming as it did between thrusts.
"How..do...you..like...my..beast..NOW"
He howled and sank his fangs into her neck.
"Fill me my love...make me a part of you...come into me, and make us whole. Love me Mathias, I need you now...PLEASE!"
That was all Mathias needed to hear. With those words Shay had played his little game to fulfillment and Mathias intended to reward her. In one thrust Mathias entered her fully,gasping yet again from the pleasure doing so gave him. He stopped,savoring the wonderful feeling being inside Shay gave him.
Still holding his hands over hers,Mathias began moving. He'd pull back,almost leaving Shay before thrusting again to fill her. These were not fast strokes,he intended to take his time for now and relish the sensations. His breath was warm on Shay's neck,tongue flicking out to taste the sweat dappling her form.
He had always been sharing,giving - but Mathias found he enjoyed dominating Shay as well. Not controlling her as Ellis had inferred but being the alpha. This was a game he and Shay played,and he loved her for it.
With one hand he brought Shay's hands forward,holding them in front of her. His other hand tangled itself in her hair as his thrusts began arriving faster but still as deep as before. Mathias voice was primal now,coming as it did between thrusts.
"How..do...you..like...my..beast..NOW"
He howled and sank his fangs into her neck.
Shay
19 years ago
"Mmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmm" She moaned, as she felt him finally push into her. It was as if he was now scratching an itch she had, deep inside. An itch she couldn't get to to save her life, but one Mathias knew exactly how to reach.
That he was drawing out the torment, she expected. He liked having the power, just as she did, and it increased her pleasure tremendously, knowing this.
It was more than nice having someone take charge when you knew they were more than capable, and when you just didn't want the responsibility yourself.
Then too, it was marvelous feeling Mathias behind her like this. His breath on her neck was a hint of what his mouth would be doing soon. Yet not actually seeing him, increased the anticipation...he could do anything, at any second, and she'd not be prepared. And the fact that he could reach even further inside her, only made the whole experience even more delicious.
A matter of scant minutes later, as she felt him begin to move much more quickly, Shay prepared herself. Though difficult to concentrate on much of anything at that point, beyond her impending climax, she knew what had yet to happen. Her breathing was very rapid now...loud...ragged...her fingernails digging into his hand...her body hot, and never more alive as it began to tense, from her toes to her ears. Plus somehow, miraculously, at the precise minute all these sensations began to overwhelm her, she felt the sting of his bite.
She almost swooned...no she did swoon, and every part of her being erupted. Just like a volcanic explosion - she really felt bits of herself shooting off from her body. A scream so loud it could still be heard even after she turned her head into the couch, followed along.
This now was the only frustrating part of their experience...that she could not feel her arms around him, nor kiss him. She wanted to share her incredible sense of love with him now, more than ever. But her arms and lips were empty.
That he was drawing out the torment, she expected. He liked having the power, just as she did, and it increased her pleasure tremendously, knowing this.
It was more than nice having someone take charge when you knew they were more than capable, and when you just didn't want the responsibility yourself.
Then too, it was marvelous feeling Mathias behind her like this. His breath on her neck was a hint of what his mouth would be doing soon. Yet not actually seeing him, increased the anticipation...he could do anything, at any second, and she'd not be prepared. And the fact that he could reach even further inside her, only made the whole experience even more delicious.
A matter of scant minutes later, as she felt him begin to move much more quickly, Shay prepared herself. Though difficult to concentrate on much of anything at that point, beyond her impending climax, she knew what had yet to happen. Her breathing was very rapid now...loud...ragged...her fingernails digging into his hand...her body hot, and never more alive as it began to tense, from her toes to her ears. Plus somehow, miraculously, at the precise minute all these sensations began to overwhelm her, she felt the sting of his bite.
She almost swooned...no she did swoon, and every part of her being erupted. Just like a volcanic explosion - she really felt bits of herself shooting off from her body. A scream so loud it could still be heard even after she turned her head into the couch, followed along.
This now was the only frustrating part of their experience...that she could not feel her arms around him, nor kiss him. She wanted to share her incredible sense of love with him now, more than ever. But her arms and lips were empty.
Mathias
19 years ago
Her passion crashed over him like a wave as Mathias drank from her. The bond they shared,not just of master and familiar but of soulmate to soulmate, opened wide for him. He was overcome by such a feeling of complete desire and love from Shay that Mathias thought he would be consumed.
In some dim corner of his mind Mathias knew he was close to release,but his union with Shay predominated his senses. They were not Mathias and Shay, but some amalgram of the two. United in pleasure and love they moved together,pushing one another over that precipice at the same time.
And the world was alive with color and fire all at once.He was dimly aware of their voices,loud,soft calling each others names. This must be what paradise feels like he thought,as his body continued its thrusts with Shay,moving as if of its own volition. Time had stopped and they were caught in this perfect moment together.
With a blur,a hum and a crash reality intruded once again. Rather than collapse atop Shay,Mathias possessed enough presence of mind to roll to the side,taking Shay into his arms. His gentle kisses cleaned what little blood remained,and Mathias reveled in the weight of Shay next to him. It was a small comfort,but moments like this highlighted the etherealness of their lovemaking. Even as 'bestial' as it was this time,there was something 'light' about it.
Mathias tried to speak,tried to say some romantic uttering - but he found any words simply did no justice to what he was feeling right now. So him just smiled at the gorgeous creature in his arms and kissed her repeatedly.
In some dim corner of his mind Mathias knew he was close to release,but his union with Shay predominated his senses. They were not Mathias and Shay, but some amalgram of the two. United in pleasure and love they moved together,pushing one another over that precipice at the same time.
And the world was alive with color and fire all at once.He was dimly aware of their voices,loud,soft calling each others names. This must be what paradise feels like he thought,as his body continued its thrusts with Shay,moving as if of its own volition. Time had stopped and they were caught in this perfect moment together.
With a blur,a hum and a crash reality intruded once again. Rather than collapse atop Shay,Mathias possessed enough presence of mind to roll to the side,taking Shay into his arms. His gentle kisses cleaned what little blood remained,and Mathias reveled in the weight of Shay next to him. It was a small comfort,but moments like this highlighted the etherealness of their lovemaking. Even as 'bestial' as it was this time,there was something 'light' about it.
Mathias tried to speak,tried to say some romantic uttering - but he found any words simply did no justice to what he was feeling right now. So him just smiled at the gorgeous creature in his arms and kissed her repeatedly.
Shay
19 years ago
Somehow she was now in his arms, and she was glad Mathias had pulled her into them. Had the house been on fire, she would have just perished there...her body now a limp, hot, mass of well loved skin and bone.
Even though she could barely move, her senses were electric...exceedingly sensitized...and his kisses tickled, both her skin, and her mind. Drinking from his lips, she thought she must have tasted her blood on his tongue. The image was odd, but not distasteful. Knowing a part of her was within him, as a part of him was now within her, filled her heart with immense gladness.
The pads of her fingers trailed along his skin, starting from the base of his throat, up into the hair behind his ears, down the back of his neck, and across his shoulder. Not only did she mean to leave an imprint on his body, from her touch, but she wanted the feel of him imbedded in her mind. To have this feeling with her always, was what she was attempting to create.
The trip to New York still had to be discussed, and though it would only be for a day, she was already getting an overpowering sense of loss, just thinking about it. But it was something they needed to talk about, now, before she forgot again, and had to leave without giving him notice.
Her fingers continued their journey, across his chest, burning the memory of every muscle, every hair...
"Hail the beast...long live the beast."
She whispered hoarsely. The screaming had a way of making her voice temporarily somewhat raspy.
"My beast...my Mathias...my love, and the light of my world."
Each set of words were clearly stated in a very possessive tone. Shay had never considered herself to be a jealous woman, nor did she plan on becoming one now. At least she didn't plan on becoming one of the obsessive, nagging, confining types of jealous women. But she now considered Mathias to be her's and her's alone, as she was now his.
"For as long as I live, I want you, always."
She wanted to make sure, once again, that he understood how she felt. Especially if she was going to be gone. If, god forbid, anything were to happen on her trip, she didn't want to die with the regret of not having told him again, how he had completely changed her life...and how she loved him.
For all the time she'd been a cop, Shay had never felt as mortal as she did now. It had to be due to the simple reason that she was so much more vulnerable now, than before. Not only did she have everything to lose, and every reason to live for, but that he had such a strong sense of immortality surrounding him made her feel even that much more naked, and frail.
"I'm sorry if I'm a bit quiet. I've just not quite comprehended the changes in myself, since meeting you. You might not see it, because you didn't see me in my 'tough' days."
She smirked, and looked up at him when she said that. Her fingers were still blazing a trail over every bit of soft, velvet skin she could reach, and were now focused on the fine, soft hair that ran from the center of his chest, downward. For a man with so much muscle, Mathias was a wonderful mix of hard and soft textures.
"But I used to be quite the bitch. I even have a look that could freeze men in their tracks."
Then her smirk turned to a faint giggle at that quip. She had made the statement in utmost honesty. Remembering now how several of her coworkers on the force used to tease her about her 'look'. She'd been told it was a look that said 'don't even try it', to whoever she had no desire to mess with. At the time it was a reputation she chose to foster, but now she was glad to leave it behind her.
"But you allow me to be strong, when I feel the need, and yet I've never felt more like a woman before. In the same vein, I've never wanted to be protected before...I've never felt like I could be...and still be respected. With you, I feel I can be ALL things, and still retain who Shay is. I don't fear getting lost anymore."
Her mind was full of all the energy her body seemed to lack, and it was beginning to generate a mild frustration within her. So she focused on his body again, and closed her eyes, as she traced the smaller scars that faintly marred his body, as well as the larger, more vicious ones that looked as if they could have been life threatening. She only hoped the pain that had accompanied them, was long since gone.
Deciding she had put off the news as long as she could, she just blurted it out. Once said, it seemed silly that she had been so concerned.
"Mathias...when you are sleeping later, I will be going to New York. I must meet with my publisher...I've put it off too long. But I will be back later tonight...will you be here?"
While they hadn't spoken further of him moving in, she had taken his earlier comments to mean he would. However, just because he lived here didn't mean he would be here all his waking minutes. She knew he had a job to do, and job or no, she'd never want him to feel he MUST be with her the rest of the time. Jealous or not, she would never seek to tie herself to him out of need, nor would she want him in that manner.
The only way she felt their relationship could work, would be if they both were together when, and because, they wanted to be.
(ooc-Permission granted by Mathias, for Shay's description of his body.)
Even though she could barely move, her senses were electric...exceedingly sensitized...and his kisses tickled, both her skin, and her mind. Drinking from his lips, she thought she must have tasted her blood on his tongue. The image was odd, but not distasteful. Knowing a part of her was within him, as a part of him was now within her, filled her heart with immense gladness.
The pads of her fingers trailed along his skin, starting from the base of his throat, up into the hair behind his ears, down the back of his neck, and across his shoulder. Not only did she mean to leave an imprint on his body, from her touch, but she wanted the feel of him imbedded in her mind. To have this feeling with her always, was what she was attempting to create.
The trip to New York still had to be discussed, and though it would only be for a day, she was already getting an overpowering sense of loss, just thinking about it. But it was something they needed to talk about, now, before she forgot again, and had to leave without giving him notice.
Her fingers continued their journey, across his chest, burning the memory of every muscle, every hair...
"Hail the beast...long live the beast."
She whispered hoarsely. The screaming had a way of making her voice temporarily somewhat raspy.
"My beast...my Mathias...my love, and the light of my world."
Each set of words were clearly stated in a very possessive tone. Shay had never considered herself to be a jealous woman, nor did she plan on becoming one now. At least she didn't plan on becoming one of the obsessive, nagging, confining types of jealous women. But she now considered Mathias to be her's and her's alone, as she was now his.
"For as long as I live, I want you, always."
She wanted to make sure, once again, that he understood how she felt. Especially if she was going to be gone. If, god forbid, anything were to happen on her trip, she didn't want to die with the regret of not having told him again, how he had completely changed her life...and how she loved him.
For all the time she'd been a cop, Shay had never felt as mortal as she did now. It had to be due to the simple reason that she was so much more vulnerable now, than before. Not only did she have everything to lose, and every reason to live for, but that he had such a strong sense of immortality surrounding him made her feel even that much more naked, and frail.
"I'm sorry if I'm a bit quiet. I've just not quite comprehended the changes in myself, since meeting you. You might not see it, because you didn't see me in my 'tough' days."
She smirked, and looked up at him when she said that. Her fingers were still blazing a trail over every bit of soft, velvet skin she could reach, and were now focused on the fine, soft hair that ran from the center of his chest, downward. For a man with so much muscle, Mathias was a wonderful mix of hard and soft textures.
"But I used to be quite the bitch. I even have a look that could freeze men in their tracks."
Then her smirk turned to a faint giggle at that quip. She had made the statement in utmost honesty. Remembering now how several of her coworkers on the force used to tease her about her 'look'. She'd been told it was a look that said 'don't even try it', to whoever she had no desire to mess with. At the time it was a reputation she chose to foster, but now she was glad to leave it behind her.
"But you allow me to be strong, when I feel the need, and yet I've never felt more like a woman before. In the same vein, I've never wanted to be protected before...I've never felt like I could be...and still be respected. With you, I feel I can be ALL things, and still retain who Shay is. I don't fear getting lost anymore."
Her mind was full of all the energy her body seemed to lack, and it was beginning to generate a mild frustration within her. So she focused on his body again, and closed her eyes, as she traced the smaller scars that faintly marred his body, as well as the larger, more vicious ones that looked as if they could have been life threatening. She only hoped the pain that had accompanied them, was long since gone.
Deciding she had put off the news as long as she could, she just blurted it out. Once said, it seemed silly that she had been so concerned.
"Mathias...when you are sleeping later, I will be going to New York. I must meet with my publisher...I've put it off too long. But I will be back later tonight...will you be here?"
While they hadn't spoken further of him moving in, she had taken his earlier comments to mean he would. However, just because he lived here didn't mean he would be here all his waking minutes. She knew he had a job to do, and job or no, she'd never want him to feel he MUST be with her the rest of the time. Jealous or not, she would never seek to tie herself to him out of need, nor would she want him in that manner.
The only way she felt their relationship could work, would be if they both were together when, and because, they wanted to be.
(ooc-Permission granted by Mathias, for Shay's description of his body.)
Mathias
19 years ago
"As long as I exist, I will love you - and beyond."
Mathias smiled sadly. Shay understood the fragileness of their love. She would grow old,and die while Mathias lived on. But even in that sadness there was the joy of having loved Shay - far better than the alternative
"I allow nothing, I love who you are - you were and who you can be. Why? Because it is all part of this woman I adore. I love the bitch in you as much as I love the gentle soul I am holding right now. " Eyes closed,Mathias reveled in the sensations of Shay's skin. The back of his hand brushed her cheek and the fingers of his other hand traced a lazy pattern on her side. Truly the only thing that matched their love making were the quiet moments afterwards,holding one another.
" If you want me to be, I will. We talked of me living here,and I would - if you still want me to." Of course he could think of no reason why she wouldn't,but it just slipped out...one of those unconscious sayings. It also brought up something that had slipped Mathias' mind,a call they needed to get done before she left.
"Perhaps it is a good time to call Carol then,love? We need to get that done and now is as good a time as any...although that would require us to dress and move."
"For as long as I live, I want you, always."
"As long as I exist, I will love you - and beyond."
Mathias smiled sadly. Shay understood the fragileness of their love. She would grow old,and die while Mathias lived on. But even in that sadness there was the joy of having loved Shay - far better than the alternative
"I'm sorry if I'm a bit quiet. I've just not quite comprehended the changes in myself, since meeting you. You might not see it, because you didn't see me in my 'tough' days."
"But you allow me to be strong, when I feel the need, and yet I've never felt more like a woman before. In the same vein, I've never wanted to be protected before...I've never felt like I could be...and still be respected. With you, I feel I can be ALL things, and still retain who Shay is. I don't fear getting lost anymore."
"I allow nothing, I love who you are - you were and who you can be. Why? Because it is all part of this woman I adore. I love the bitch in you as much as I love the gentle soul I am holding right now. " Eyes closed,Mathias reveled in the sensations of Shay's skin. The back of his hand brushed her cheek and the fingers of his other hand traced a lazy pattern on her side. Truly the only thing that matched their love making were the quiet moments afterwards,holding one another.
"Mathias...when you are sleeping later, I will be going to New York. I must meet with my publisher...I've put it off too long. But I will be back later tonight...will you be here?"
" If you want me to be, I will. We talked of me living here,and I would - if you still want me to." Of course he could think of no reason why she wouldn't,but it just slipped out...one of those unconscious sayings. It also brought up something that had slipped Mathias' mind,a call they needed to get done before she left.
"Perhaps it is a good time to call Carol then,love? We need to get that done and now is as good a time as any...although that would require us to dress and move."
Shay
19 years ago
Maybe 'allow' wasn't the appropriate word, but Shay knew how guys could be about having a domineering, and strong woman around. Yes, they might go along with it, until they were having some macho crisis, and then all bets would be off. And Mathias being a man from a time when men did pretty much rule the lives of their women, could have easily balked and fought Shay when she tried to exert herself, and her independence. And as strongly as she felt, she would never have just buckled under his protest. She was glad it had never been an issue.
She was glad she mentioned him living there again, having remembered when they'd spoken of it initially, it had been a rather rushed and hasty conversation.
"Of course I want you here...as long as you are comfortable, I would have it no other way. My god if I can wake up like this every day...or night, rather..."
Yes, there would need to be some changes made, but those changes were nothing to her. She just couldn't contain the smile that burst onto her face when she thought of how much sleep she'd really start missing though, and she stretched out along his length, lazily moving against him. The bottom of her foot moved down along the inside of his knee, and calf, as she wrapped herself around him.
"And anything we need to do to make this your home...and conducive to your living here will be taken care of as soon as possible. Feel free to have your things sent over as soon as you can...As far as I'm concerned, this is now your address too. Oh! And I'll changed the name on the mailbox."
She realized there were a lot more issues that would need addressing...blood supply, further protection on the windows...the address issue was just something that made it all seem so wonderfully real to her.
And though it did bring her back down to earth a bit...even the thought of meeting with this 'Carol' woman couldn't ruin her glow.
"Oh? I'm not sure I'll be able to do anything for hours..."
She again felt weak, but in a very good way...and while she knew it was from his taking of her blood again, she preferred to see it in a different way.
"If my lover was not so insatiable...I might have a slightly faster recovery time...but...it's the cross I must bear...loving such a beast."
She spoke with such dramatics, she had a hard time keeping a straight face.
"Go ahead and call, and then please help me sit up...once I get going I should be fine."
She was glad she mentioned him living there again, having remembered when they'd spoken of it initially, it had been a rather rushed and hasty conversation.
"Of course I want you here...as long as you are comfortable, I would have it no other way. My god if I can wake up like this every day...or night, rather..."
Yes, there would need to be some changes made, but those changes were nothing to her. She just couldn't contain the smile that burst onto her face when she thought of how much sleep she'd really start missing though, and she stretched out along his length, lazily moving against him. The bottom of her foot moved down along the inside of his knee, and calf, as she wrapped herself around him.
"And anything we need to do to make this your home...and conducive to your living here will be taken care of as soon as possible. Feel free to have your things sent over as soon as you can...As far as I'm concerned, this is now your address too. Oh! And I'll changed the name on the mailbox."
She realized there were a lot more issues that would need addressing...blood supply, further protection on the windows...the address issue was just something that made it all seem so wonderfully real to her.
And though it did bring her back down to earth a bit...even the thought of meeting with this 'Carol' woman couldn't ruin her glow.
"Oh? I'm not sure I'll be able to do anything for hours..."
She again felt weak, but in a very good way...and while she knew it was from his taking of her blood again, she preferred to see it in a different way.
"If my lover was not so insatiable...I might have a slightly faster recovery time...but...it's the cross I must bear...loving such a beast."
She spoke with such dramatics, she had a hard time keeping a straight face.
"Go ahead and call, and then please help me sit up...once I get going I should be fine."
Mathias
19 years ago
"How about we try the bed for a change of pace next time?" Mathias blushed,his mind wandering and remembering every place they had made love..the bed only rarely being the location. Waking up next to Shay was something Mathias intended to get very used to. Her mentioning of waking up at night rather than morning reminded Mathias of something he needed to tell share.
"Well it doesn't always have to be night. I can be awake and function during the day. We tend to be nocturnal out of practicality."
How to explain..delicately..that listing his name might not be the brightest idea. Mathias wasn't exactly his Christian name and the less the world knew where he lived the better.
"Love,I appreciate everything you are doing to make this place home. Truly though, all I need is you and I am where I belong. Plus,and I mean no disrespect in saying this, the fewer who know where I live the better I think it will be for us. Mathias,while the name I go by now, is not a legal name and I cannot remember the last time I received mail."
He leaned and planted a kiss on her all-too-perfect nose.
"Then I will carry you everywhere if needed Milady. Just reserve calling me 'Horsey' for our alone moments!"
There she goes again,getting me to make jokes he thought. Shay had a way of drawing him out of his shell - at least around her.
He tried not to laugh,but Shay almost cracking up did not help him. Mathias chuckled as he helped Shay up onto the couch.
"And were my lover not so a desirable and equally insatiable we might actually have time to rest"
Finding his phone further away than he remembered it, Mathias dialed Carol's number - hoping she was around.
"Of course I want you here...as long as you are comfortable, I would have it no other way. My god if I can wake up like this every day...or night, rather..."
"How about we try the bed for a change of pace next time?" Mathias blushed,his mind wandering and remembering every place they had made love..the bed only rarely being the location. Waking up next to Shay was something Mathias intended to get very used to. Her mentioning of waking up at night rather than morning reminded Mathias of something he needed to tell share.
"Well it doesn't always have to be night. I can be awake and function during the day. We tend to be nocturnal out of practicality."
"And anything we need to do to make this your home...and conducive to your living here will be taken care of as soon as possible. Feel free to have your things sent over as soon as you can...As far as I'm concerned, this is now your address too. Oh! And I'll changed the name on the mailbox."
How to explain..delicately..that listing his name might not be the brightest idea. Mathias wasn't exactly his Christian name and the less the world knew where he lived the better.
"Love,I appreciate everything you are doing to make this place home. Truly though, all I need is you and I am where I belong. Plus,and I mean no disrespect in saying this, the fewer who know where I live the better I think it will be for us. Mathias,while the name I go by now, is not a legal name and I cannot remember the last time I received mail."
Oh? I'm not sure I'll be able to do anything for hours..."
He leaned and planted a kiss on her all-too-perfect nose.
"Then I will carry you everywhere if needed Milady. Just reserve calling me 'Horsey' for our alone moments!"
There she goes again,getting me to make jokes he thought. Shay had a way of drawing him out of his shell - at least around her.
"If my lover was not so insatiable...I might have a slightly faster recovery time...but...it's the cross I must bear...loving such a beast."
He tried not to laugh,but Shay almost cracking up did not help him. Mathias chuckled as he helped Shay up onto the couch.
"And were my lover not so a desirable and equally insatiable we might actually have time to rest"
Finding his phone further away than he remembered it, Mathias dialed Carol's number - hoping she was around.
Shay
19 years ago
Laughing, she gave him a soft slap on the stomach.
"Oh but you are a funny man. You want to try the bed next time...and I was hoping for the shower."
Her eyes and nose crinkled up as she grinned at is remark.
The information about him being awake during the day wasn't too surprising, as he had mentioned that earlier. It was all a matter of keeping out of the sun. However, because she was not tied to living her life during the day, most of the time, it would be no hardship to change that part of her life style. By living the nightlife, Mathias would also be safer. While she was vulnerable in so many ways, Mathias wasn't invincible by any means.
She blushed at her silliness, when he pointed out the problems she would create for him if she made his residency there public.
"Ok...no name on the mailbox, and I really didn't plan on sending out house warming invitations."
Though teasing, she hoped he did know that she understood the seriousness of his moving in. Occasionally she might forget and think that they were just a normal couple, but for the most part she believed she would remember otherwise.
"I would write you."
She said in a small voice. It was foolish and sentimental, but seemed so sad to her that no one was there to write Mathias. Her sad thoughts were replaced with much nicer ones when he offered to be her mode of transportation.
"Horsey?"
She giggled. How many ways could this man find to make her love him? He had been mysterious and sexy hot when she'd met him, becoming a chivalrous knight later, and this newer funny side was adorable.
"Alright...I promise to reserve my midnight rides for when we're alone. ANNNND I will TRYYYYY to be good and give you time to yourself...the last thing I want to be accused of is for distracting you with my feminine wiles.
For now, go ahead and call Carol, and I'll toddle back to my room to get dressed."
But before she left the couch, she turned towards him for a very deep, and lengthy kiss...pressing against him with as much of her as she could, in her present position. And as he picked up the phone to call, she bent down to plant a very tender, swift kiss on one of her most favorites parts of his.
"NOw...I'll toddle."
And moving gingerly, as well as slow and determined, she laughed her way to her room to dress.
"Oh but you are a funny man. You want to try the bed next time...and I was hoping for the shower."
Her eyes and nose crinkled up as she grinned at is remark.
The information about him being awake during the day wasn't too surprising, as he had mentioned that earlier. It was all a matter of keeping out of the sun. However, because she was not tied to living her life during the day, most of the time, it would be no hardship to change that part of her life style. By living the nightlife, Mathias would also be safer. While she was vulnerable in so many ways, Mathias wasn't invincible by any means.
She blushed at her silliness, when he pointed out the problems she would create for him if she made his residency there public.
"Ok...no name on the mailbox, and I really didn't plan on sending out house warming invitations."
Though teasing, she hoped he did know that she understood the seriousness of his moving in. Occasionally she might forget and think that they were just a normal couple, but for the most part she believed she would remember otherwise.
"I would write you."
She said in a small voice. It was foolish and sentimental, but seemed so sad to her that no one was there to write Mathias. Her sad thoughts were replaced with much nicer ones when he offered to be her mode of transportation.
"Horsey?"
She giggled. How many ways could this man find to make her love him? He had been mysterious and sexy hot when she'd met him, becoming a chivalrous knight later, and this newer funny side was adorable.
"Alright...I promise to reserve my midnight rides for when we're alone. ANNNND I will TRYYYYY to be good and give you time to yourself...the last thing I want to be accused of is for distracting you with my feminine wiles.
For now, go ahead and call Carol, and I'll toddle back to my room to get dressed."
But before she left the couch, she turned towards him for a very deep, and lengthy kiss...pressing against him with as much of her as she could, in her present position. And as he picked up the phone to call, she bent down to plant a very tender, swift kiss on one of her most favorites parts of his.
"NOw...I'll toddle."
And moving gingerly, as well as slow and determined, she laughed her way to her room to dress.
Mathias
19 years ago
Mathias hung the phone up and went to see if Shay needed help. Carol wasn't answering,which meant a trip to The Domicile. Not a big deal really,since he wanted to show it to Shay - but he would have preferred staying in if possible.
"It would seem we will need to appear in person,as Carol isn't answering. She may be in the middle of something."
He hoped Shay wasn't too tired to go.
"It would seem we will need to appear in person,as Carol isn't answering. She may be in the middle of something."
He hoped Shay wasn't too tired to go.
Shay
19 years ago
Movement wasn't really the easiest thing to accomplish at the moment, but Shay had managed to clean herself up some in the time it took for Mathias to try and reach Carol.
She'd made it as far as the bedroom, where she had begun to dress.
"Okay. I should be ready in about ten..."
She yawned behind her hand, and walked to him in just her panties, with her arms outstretched. When she reached him she wrapped herself around, and snuggled against his chest.
"or fifteen. Hmmmmm...I really need to start taking iron, I think...I must be rundown.
You don't think we'll need to be with Carol too long do you? I'd like to get just a little sleep behind me before I leave for New York."
She really did wish she could just curl up next to Mathias now, and sleep. But she knew how important this meeting was, and wouldn't miss it for anything. Even if she had to call her publisher and reschedule, she needed to get this meeting out of the way.
Pushing herself away from him, she kissed him with a soft sigh, and finished dressing. Once she was done, she flopped down on the bed, on her back, and yawned.
"Alright...lets get this show on the road."
Though she made no effort to move.
She'd made it as far as the bedroom, where she had begun to dress.
"Okay. I should be ready in about ten..."
She yawned behind her hand, and walked to him in just her panties, with her arms outstretched. When she reached him she wrapped herself around, and snuggled against his chest.
"or fifteen. Hmmmmm...I really need to start taking iron, I think...I must be rundown.
You don't think we'll need to be with Carol too long do you? I'd like to get just a little sleep behind me before I leave for New York."
She really did wish she could just curl up next to Mathias now, and sleep. But she knew how important this meeting was, and wouldn't miss it for anything. Even if she had to call her publisher and reschedule, she needed to get this meeting out of the way.
Pushing herself away from him, she kissed him with a soft sigh, and finished dressing. Once she was done, she flopped down on the bed, on her back, and yawned.
"Alright...lets get this show on the road."
Though she made no effort to move.