Girl Talk

Aishe gave Fallon her customary bright smile and hefted her books easily. "I'm fine," she assured her friend. "They're really not that bad, and anyway it's nice to see some return on the workouts I've been doing."

She didn't really have any preferences for food. Aishe would eat just about anything and was fairly adventurous where that was concerned, so she managed to give a shrug, books and all. "If you saw someplace interesting, let's go there. I'm not a picky eater. So long as they have something chocolate for dessert. I'm glad vampires can eat," she added. "I'm not sure I could deal with giving up chocolate."

She pondered that for a moment. How would Kem feel to know he was being weighed against the merits of being able to consume chocolate? Unsurprised, she decided. He definitely knew her that well.

"Lead on," she said amiably. "I'm all yours. For dinner. Er. At dinner. Not to be dinner. You know."

Aishe gave Fallon a nudge to let her know she was just joking; she certainly didn't think Fallon would consider snacking on her for a moment.

Taking the lead, Fallon walked along the piers towards the restaurant, and laughed.

"You may rest easy, Aishe...I'm not the sort to play with my food...although, in truth, I don't think I've ever eaten anything from the middle east. "

Fallon loved Aishe's free spirit and quick wit. It seemed to brighten everything around her, including Fallon's humor. But since being at the library, Fallon had wanted to talk to Aishe about something, and now was afraid if she didn't get it out, she never would.

"Aishe...how do you do that...how do you make yourself so free with people? Like in the library...you and Alec seem so close, and then to just let him lie all over you like that..."

It had been gnawing on her since she had stood there at the end of the couch and watched the three of them playing. It hadn't been anything really...not a big deal at all...they all looked completely natural...and Fallon envied that. She wished she could be more like Aishe...more open, and outgoing. But after living her life keeping herself so aloof from everyone, it was impossible to grasp now, how to change that.

But she did want to change. Now that she had been given this gift - which is what she was calling it now...her vampirism...now that she was stronger and not tied to that bastard Ted, any longer, Fallon wanted to do the things she had only dreamed of in the past.

"I don't think I'm as spicy as you may have been led to believe," Aishe said in return to the food comment. "I'd probably give you indigestion."

Fallon's next question made her pause a moment and think. She had never considered herself that outgoing; in fact, before her arrival in Nachton she was more the wallflower type, content to sit and watch, than anything else. She hadn't really been in any very big groups since arriving in the city, which was where she tended to be a little less gregarious, but she suspected that even in a bigger group no, she'd be fine.

She smiled and looked at Fallon. "I don't think here's a trick to it, really," she said. "I actually haven't known Alec very long, but we've been in some, ah, compromising situations together and that tends to break the ice."

Aishe quickly explained the dancing mishap at the creation ball, lest Fallon form the wrong idea about her meaning by 'compromising.'

"It really was an icebreaker," Aishe laughed. "And we've gotten together a few times since then. Alec's very easy to get along with, he'd be great for you to chat with more if you really want to ease into being more outgoing."

Perhaps they just needed to get Fallon out and about more. "You seemed comfortable with Cyrus though," Aishe pointed out. "Are you sure you couldn't stand to have him lie all over you?" She smiled a bit and glanced back over at Fallon out of the corner of her eye as they entered the restaurant.

It was logical, Fallon guessed. Everything Aishe said sounded reasonable, and Fallon went over things again as they waited to be seated. Once they were sitting at a table by window overlooking the marina, Fallon shook her head.

"Cyrus saved my life, and under those circumstances I think I would feel the same for anyone. It's not so much how I feel, because yes...I enjoy physical contact with him...I just feel awkward about it so often, even with him."

Rejection. It was that horrible feeling she got whenever someone told her she wasn't good enough, or worse, showed her. Whenever around people, it was there she tended to fold in upon herself. But Fallon didn't like talking about that. It was easier to just pretend none of it had ever happened. She did pretty well at it too, and for longer periods of time now.

She sighed.

"Maybe one day. Maybe if I hang out with you long enough, that will rub off on me."

Smiling at her friend, she knew even if she never picked up such traits from Aishe, she would still want to spend time with her. She was a lot of fun. Briefly she couldn't help but wonder...why did Aishe want to hang out with her.

After ordering a drink first, Fallon's curiosity bit her hard.

"So tell me more about the reason why you want to join...the 'dark' side. I'm beginning to see distinct reasons why, even though the choice wasn't there for me, it may be the best thing that ever happened to me. But you seem to have everything you could want in your life now."

Aishe sat with Fallon, tucked into their quiet corner, which had a lovely view. She heard Fallon's words, but didn't have any direct advice. How could she? Words only came in so handy in certain situations. Perhaps, for Fallon, it was more of a case of needing time. Aishe herself was a believer that anything could sort itself out given enough time.

"I'm not really sure that kind of thing rubs off, but I hope it's not the only reason you want to hang out," she said with a light laugh. "I'm not sure you'd want to take a page out of my book anyway. I've been about as subtle as a bull in a china shop since arriving here, and that's unusual for me."

Aishe knew from their previous outing that Fallon was curious about her 'why's and 'wherefore's. And she had promised to 'fess up. She was happy to have someone to talk to on a purely friendly basis. She enjoyed Fallon's company; even though she was shy, she seemed very sweet and it was nice that she seemed to be opening up a bit. Fallon was far more animated tonight than she'd been at Flannigan's and Aishe responded well to it.

She had to laugh when Fallon said she seemed to have everything she could want. The irony...

"It's funny you should say that," she explained as she ordered a soda, "because there's really only one thing I want in my life. One person, I should say. I'd give up everything to be with him, to be what he needs."

She looked directly at Fallon and reiterated with significance. "Everything. My job, my family, and my life."

There was no trace of bitterness in her voice. Just hope, and eagerness. It wasn't a sacrifice to Aishe; it was the necessary step to take to move forward with her life in the direction she wanted to go. She was looking forward to it.

When Fallon heard that response she blanched, and her eyes flashed at the other woman, scared to death she had insulted Aishe.

"No, no...really, I was teasing. I like you...you're friendly, and you know things I don't, but should...you're funny, and patient. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean anything by it."

Force of habit struck again and Fallon couldn't say enough to contradict anything negative that Aishe might be feeling.

"Please, forgive me."

Just has she had always been with Ted, Fallon had to remember never to overstep her boundaries.

Yet Aishe made no move to leave, and just continued talking, apparently not at all perturbed by Fallon's admission.

"A bull in a china shop seems to work for you though. Everyone who knows you loves you...I can see it in their eyes. And it doesn't appear false either...your personality comes from you naturally."

Fallon was afraid someone would eventually call her on her actions. She was trying so hard to be more open, and assertive with people, but underneath she couldn't have been more backwards. That the people she had met so far didn't seem to mind, helped. But she lived in apprehension that one day someone would ask...'who are you really, Fallon, and why do you pretend so?' Her only saving thought there was that maybe by then she would no longer need to pretend.

"That must be such a powerful emotion, the love you have for that person. I've never felt that way about anyone."

Another thing to envy Aishe of. But for Fallon, envy wasn't an all consuming emotion, and wouldn't effect how she felt about Aishe. She considered Aishe blessed, and she truly was happy for her friend.

"Aishe, if anyone can make it happen, I know you will. I believe that with everything I have inside...I have to."

To believe otherwise would destroy the image Fallon was building, and that image was becoming the foundation for her own life.

The waiter brought drinks, and took their orders. He was a striking looking young man, who reminded her a little of Tristan, but darker. Fallon's eyes never left him while he was at the table, and when he left she had to remember to close her mouth.

"Ahem...well...too bad he's not on the menu."

Looking at Aishe, Fallon laughed. It sounded funny, but she meant it, in every sense. She cocked an eyebrow to Aishe, wondering what her opinion was. It was better to think of these types of things, than those heavier issues, for now anyway.

Aishe watched Fallon stammer and apologize repeatedly, wondering silently what in the other woman's past had made her act thus. She remained quiet as Fallon continued to talk, but she laughed at the idea that everyone she knew loved her.

"Fallon, I'm no different from anyone else. Well okay, I'm not undead. I suppose that makes us different. Just because I have an overabundance of bravery lately doesn't mean I don't do stupid things. You should have seen me when I first got here. I'm still amazed I didn't get grabbed and sucked dry by the first vampire I bumped into."

She held up a finger to forestall any argument from her friend, still smiling warmly at her. "And another thing! Don't apologise. Don't ever apologise for being yourself and... wait a minute. I can't take credit for that. That was all Thaddeus."

She'd met the man twice but that phrase seeed to be popping out all over the place. Words of wisdom, indeed. "Have you met Thaddeus yet? He's one of the Anantya too. I don't know him well - but he said that, at any rate, and I shouldn't take credit for it."

Aishe shook her head with a grin. "I'm glad someone's rooting for me," she admitted. "My new family is wonderful though, even if it never comes to pass. I'd stay here regardless."

When the waiter brough their drinks, Aishe caught Fallon's appreciation and checked him out herself through lowered lashes.

"I'm biased," she murmured, thinking that he was perhaps a bit too short, hair to curly, eyes not silvery enough, and... yeah. Biased.

Fallon

"Ahem...well...too bad he's not on the menu."

Aishe eyed the waiter speculatively. "Why not? May as well eat well," she remarked.

Once again Aishe came forward admonishing Fallon for saying anything apologetic, and Fallon grinned sadly. She wondered if she'd ever get the hang of this 'friend' stuff.

"I think the difference between us is you try things...at least that way if something silly happens, at least you can be proud of the fact that you tried. I seem to be able to make a fool out of myself just sitting quietly, minding my own business."

Feeling pathetic, Fallon recognized she really did need to at least stop talking about her failings. Having them was one thing, but reinforcing them by whining was a totally other issue.

"No, I've not yet been 'introduced at court'. Cyrus is taking me to meet Mai...maybe I'll meet Thaddeus then. You know a lot of different people in different clans. Do you have any opinions on their differences?"

Fallon still didn't understand why someone who wasn't a vampire or one of those 'familiar' things belonged to a clan, but would never judge Aishe for it. If for no other reason that being close to the person she was 'after', that was reason enough, she guessed.

However, hearing that Thaddeus, was an Anantya,and had such wise words, gave Fallon a good feeling. If they accepted her into that clan, she could be proud...or so she hoped.

"That is okay Aishe...you concern yourself with your friend. It gives me a much wider playing field."

Fallon couldn't not blush at having said such a thing. Still more concerned about the pleasures of feeding, the longer she was away from Ted, the more she wondered about sex as well.

"I have a secret...promise you won't think bad of me?"

Aishe shook her head at Fallon. "So what if you make a fool out of yourself? I think that's the real difference. I know I look stupid half the time. But I can laugh at myself because nobody's perfect. It doesn't matter if you're sitting in a corner or trying something new and ridiculous."

Once again there was nothing she could say to help Fallon out, but Aishe thought perhaps some more time spent together might continue to reinforce the idea that not only was it okay to look stupid on occasion, but also that with time, if Fallon really wanted to learn to come out of her shell, she would.

"Don't push yourself though," she said with a wink. "Go at your own pace and don't do anything you don't want to. Why change yourself unnecessarily? You're a wonderful person as you are. If you want to try new things, then I'm more than happy to get in trouble with you, but don't do it if it doesn't feel right for you."

And that was the fundamental there. Aishe didn't want Fallon to lose herself, in her quest to find herself. "You do have all the time in the world," she pointed out with a grin.

When Fallon made her observation about clans, Aishe simply lifted a shoulder. "I've met lots of people since coming here, but I still don't entirely have a good grasp of everything, much less clan relations. I've never met with anyone in anything other than an informal setting, and mostly just from bumping into them here and there. There's probably so much going on that I don't know. I'm a small cog in a very large wheel."

Aishe raised her dark brows at Fallon's mention of a secret. "Worse than 'I drink blood?' I think I can handle it," she replied. While secrets in general didn't usually arouse Aishe's curiosity, she wasn't insensitive to the fact that obviously Fallon wanted to discuss it. She really wasn't the best person for giving vampiric advice, but Fallon was looking to her for answers and she'd try to do her best for her friend.

All Aishe's advice was logical, and most of it Fallon had heard before. She was even getting good at telling herself how she should and shouldn't act. Problem was not in the saying or hearing, but in the doing.

"I know what you say is true, and as long as you don't mind hanging out with someone who's still learning not to be an emotional cripple, that will help. I mean it. No matter what you say, I can aspire to be you, when I grow up."

Singing someone's praises was a unique art, that Fallon also hadn't mastered yet, but it was important that Aishe know what this friendship meant to her.

The clan information wasn't too helpful, except to hear that Aishe had nothing terrible to tell her about Anantya.

"It is good to meet people from all the clans. I had heard bad things about Tacharan, but that was from someone who had been exiled from the clan. I guess I wouldn't expect to hear anything good about them. I plan on making up my own mind, and see no reason not to have friends in all the clans."

After she opened her mouth about the secret, Fallon wished she hadn't...and while the deed was done, she sort of hoped the waiter would return to distract them. But looking around for him didn't make him appear, so she knew she had to go through with her little tale, and hope Aishe didn't think less of her.

"I, well...remember Tristan, from the beach? I know he's a bit of a boy, but...I ran into him at this arcade. I was on break from work, and since I wasn't hungry I went for a walk. But I also hadn't fed...and...well, boy or not, I thought he was cute."

Fallon shifted in her seat a little, surprised that just thinking about the young man could make her slightly uncomfortable...in a good way.

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I bit him."

The last sentence was said quickly, with quite a bit of relish, and sparkle in Fallon's eyes. Those same eyes never left Aishe's as she waited to see her friend's reaction. She also noticed she was holding her breath, and her nails were digging into her palms.

Aishe wasn't sure about being put on a pedestal, but that could wait for now... again, the more they got to know each other the more Fallon would realize Aishe was just a plain old run of the mill human. Well, hopefully. For now she supposed she had better do her best to simply be a good friend and not too terrible an example. Which she'd intended from the start, anyhow.

When Fallon divulged her secret, however, Aishe was waiting for the other shoe to drop. It didn't. Ergo the fact that Fallon had bitten Tristan must be the secret.

"Fallon... you're a vampire," she reminded her friend, still speaking as low as possible even though the restaurant was far from full and there didn't seem to be anyone even near them. "You drink blood! How else are you going to do that if you don't bite people?"

Well... there were ways, of course, but fallon was a new vampire and of course she must be hungry fairly often, if what Aishe had learned was correct. Besides, Tristan hadn't seemed like much of a boy to her. Young adult perhaps, but adult nonetheless.

Aishe felt fortunate to have discovered Kem's nature long before traveling to Nachton. These were issues she'd had time to get used to, and over the course of deciding to journey here to see if she could join him, she'd had to give this all a great deal of thought. She could imagine how it must be for someone like Fallon who hadn't been given the choice of being turned at all.

"You didn't hurt him did you? I mean, that would certainly be wrong... er, well... I think that's largely where the clans tend to differ, too. I'm still a bit vague on it, but as far as I know Anantya and Tacharan aren't quite as er, picky, about the state you leave your human in after feeding."

Like alive, she thought, but didn't say that out loud. Instead she went on. "It's Evenhet that seems to show the most concern for humans, but on the whole, they believe in living together peacefully with them anyhow. And I might not be exact on the other clans, you realize."

Aishe felt she had to add that little disclaimer. She wasn't 100% on everything, still being mostly new to this herself. "Still though, if no harm was done, and he enjoyed it, why worry? I guess unless he was someone else's familiar, but why wouldn't he have said so?"

Hearing Aishe recount the Tristan affair, Fallon felt silly. It had all seemed terribly clandestine at the time, and Fallon had even felt a little guilty. Except, she had left him feeling better than when she found him, of that she was certain. Again she felt her face redden.

"Um no...I am reasonably sure I didn't hurt him...in fact..."

No, Fallon couldn't tell Aishe that...it was...so very intimate.

"Well, I'm relatively positive he was feeling better afterward."

Fallon fanned herself a little, hoping the redness in her face vanished quickly. It really seemed overly warm in the restaurant, all of a sudden.

"It's just...I knew him. Before that they had all been strangers, and aside from one time I went back looking for the same person, I've never bitten the same person more than once, or even tried to."

She took a huge gulp of her drink and relaxed a little more as she felt the rum slide all the way down her throat.

"See! Even that you seem more experienced at, and you've never even bitten anyone yet."

The last few words of that sentence were spoken in a whisper as Fallon leaned across the table, closer to Aishe. She was laughing though, and meant the comment to be joking. She was trying not to give the woman any further accolades that might make her feel uneasy.

Aishe couldn't help but giggle just a bit at Fallon's blush. She nodded along, though, understanding what the woman meant. She gave it a moment's thought, and then said, "I've been bitten myself. Just once. It was pleasant... not in that way, but pleasant anyhow. And intimate in a way that I'm not sure I'd want a stranger to do to me. Of course, if I didn't know it was coming, I probably wouldn't complain. I do know though, so I suppose I'm allowed to form opinions on it."

She sipped at her cherry coke, skewering a cherry with her straw and popping it into her mouth. "I think everyone must feel differently about it though," she speculated. "I don't think it's the same for each person... on either end. But at least you know your meal wasn't opposed to it."

The waiter showed up again, effectively stalling the conversation for a moment. Aishe placed an order for some kind of lobster dish that looked relatively enticing, and waited for Fallon to order if she wanted and for the waiter to move off.

Fallon was aghast.

"You've been bitten? When...who...not your 'intended'..."

Cringing, and squeezing her eyes tightly for seconds, Fallon continued, rapidly, but with a soft 'inside' voice.

"Oh shit, forget I asked that...the who part...it's none of my business. But...may I ask, when did this happen?"

She had to wonder though...why had it been different for Tristan, than for Aishe when bitten? Fallon didn't remember a great deal about her night with Panos, but she did remember feeling quite 'feverish' with need...and not for blood.

Now she had that question to add to her list, and to worry about.

"Of course, it was presumptuous of me to assume anything about you at all. And you would be entitled to an opinion in any event."

Semantically, Fallon knew Tristan had been food for her, but for some reason it still poked at her a little to refer to someone she knew that way.

"Things can really get confusing."

She offered, as the waiter made his way back to the table once again. Fallon ordered a seafood salad, thinking she could pick at the good parts and leave the rest, without it looking like she hadn't eaten anything. She also ordered another one of the rum concoctions.

"Have you thought about how you'll feed...when the time comes?"

That seemed to be an okay question, in a generic way.

In spite of Fallon's retraction of her question, Aishe simply smiled. She didn't mind the question. She didn't think of biting or being bitten as such a momentous occasion, perhaps because for vampire and 'victim' alike, the experience was generally pleasant. Above and beyond that though, was her understanding of a vampire's need to survive. Perhaps in Tacharan or Anantya Aishe would not have felt she fit in at all, but with her Evenhet family and their strong belief in a peaceful coexistence, she was able to fully accept the facts that made vampires what they were.

She felt some explanation might help clear things up for Fallon, although she hadn't told this story in its entirety since arriving in Nachton.

"The man I love is quite old," Aishe began, her voice soft but intense. "Like you, he was given little choice in the matter of his future. He was falsely accused of murder and accepted the blame for the good of his sister. Those facts I have learned on my own. Since coming here to Nachton I've learned a great deal more about him; he didn't have any other vampires to learn from. He didn't even know they existed for centuries. He never truly learned to be comfortable subsisting the way vampires must, and as a result when I met him he'd fallen into the habit of drinking only when absolutely necessary."

There was so much more to it, she thought... so much more that she wanted to learn from him, about him. And it would have to wait. She marshalled her patience and continued to talk.

"I think, perhaps, meeting me reminded him of a very long time ago. Of something he wanted but didn't feel was right to have. I discovered what he is on my own. I watched him for months. I just observed. I never said anything. It took time to grow used to the idea of it, but I think I loved him even then, and I certainly wasn't going to run away. So eventually I came to terms with it.

"I never really had a chance to talk to him about it. I reminded him of some bad times, and some good ones, but regardless, I think he simply just lost the will to continue on."

Aishe blushed, for she still couldn't believe what she'd done. "The last time I actually saw him, quite some time ago now, I ah... well, he was getting weaker, you see, and I knew what he was, even if he didn't realize that. It was easy to pin him down, to cut my wrist with my knife, and hold it before him, and simply let nature take its course."

Aishe rolled up her sleeve and showed Fallon her left wrist. There was a very faint white line on it. The punctures Kem's fangs had made had, of course, healed without a trace. But the cut she'd made with her pocket knife that night had left a light scar. It probably should have been more obvious but she suspected Kem's bite might have had something to do with that as well.

"It wasn't a bad feeling," she reassured her friend. "Like I said, it wasn't intimate in a sexual sense. But in that moment I had never been closer to anyone. Perhaps for someone who'd been a stranger it would have had a different effect on me, on him."

Aishe shrugged. "Regardless, he left the next night. It scared him, I think. It was something I never should have discovered. Regardless of how we felt for each other he believed... he believes still... that he can't ask me to leave what I have. My family, job, home, all that. He doesn't understand that his desires and mine are the same. I would happily stay with him as he is."

It was spoken now, and Fallon could take it as she saw fit. Aishe certainly wouldn't blame her for finding her pushy, overbearing, or stubborn.

"As for how I'll do it? I'm not sure. I might have to try a tactic or two to figure it out at first, but I imagine I'll sort it all out. That part isn't he difficult part for me. I've had a very long time to get used to it, you know. Months."

She laughed softly. "The tough part is being here in Nachton and not tipping him off to my wherabouts. If he weren't being so pigheaded he'd have figured it out by now. I'm on borrowed time though; he'll know I'm here before too long and he'll probably do his best to stop me."

Aishe took a deep breath and then let it all out. "You see? I'm not at all the confident person you think I am. I'm chasing my runaway boyfriend who probably thinks I'm some kind of psychotic stalker, and I have nothing better to do than convince people I'd make a better vampire than I do a human."

It was all said with her typical grin, but in truth Aishe felt fairly exposed. She wasn't used to wearing her heart on her sleeve in quite that manner. It was one thing to have a course of action and to be following it, but discussing it with a friend was... different.

When Aishe began her story, Fallon's eyes lingered over the waiter a bit, but soon were focused on the woman across the table. Her esteem for Aishe grew, when she heard the love and compassion in the woman's words for this man she loved.

"Oh Aishe, how you must love him. That kind of action is so different from being bitten though. You gave yourself to him, as if you were giving your virginity to him. And to save his life...I can also see why there was no...sexual pleasure. But...with a love like that? Were he to instigate the bite, I'll bet you'd react differently."

Fallon had never felt such love, or devotion...how could she not be a little in awe of it in her friend. She wasn't even sure she had the ability to love like that, though somewhere in the back of her mind, the thought was lying. It had been dormant for so long, it might not be revivable, but she could always hope.

"You've got to convince him...that kind of love is not something that should be wasted. It should be cherished, and fed, and enjoyed to the fullest."

Having gotten caught up in the sentiment, Fallon lowered her eyes. A part of her wanted to cry for her own failings there, but the larger part of her wanted to rejoice for her friend.

"I wish I were a different person, and I could go to him and shake him for you."

That Aishe had some time to think on the whole thing...see the pros and cons...weigh all her options...how could Fallon not admire the woman? Except for the fact that Aishe didn't want her love to know she was near...that part made little sense.

"Aishe! You should let him know you're here...make him see that the two of you are destined to be together, and then take this time to love each other...the longer you wait, the less time you'll have. I would never begin to believe that he could do any less than return your love, even if he's being stubborn and pig-headed now. I guess it would stand to reason that if he wasn't convinced of your love, he would try to dissuade you from making this change in your life...but that you have come all this way and gone through what you have is proof of that love. He would have to see it as such by now...and it only makes me see you as even stronger...more determined. I certainly don't see you as any kind of crazy."

Fallon finally ran out of breath...talking was about the only thing that did it, and she hadn't talked so much in years, probably. But she was so entrenched in the love aspect of this scenario that she was actually shaking a little after her speech.

Well, Aishe's story had certainly had the effect of getting Fallon to talk even more, which was, in the human's opinion, a very good thing. She wasn't really ready to disclose every single reason for every move she had made, and it would probably take a lot longer to explain to Fallon why she didn't just find Kem and knock some sense into him; that was something Aishe had a firsthand account of though, owing to her bond with him. She had considered it ridiculous herself until she'd had several good glimpses at his past and some of the events that made him think the way he did now.

She had to laugh though. "That can be an adventure," she said. "You and I will shake some sense into him together one of these days. And I do mean to confront him eventually, but only after I've done what I came here to do."

All right... that part might take some explaining. "He wouldn't ask me to do this in a million years," she said softly, "regardless of the fact that it's what I want as well as what he wants. But if I go to him, having done it already, it won't be because he somehow requested it. I know it's convoluted. It could be argued that if he hadn't left, I would never have come here looking to do this. But I know that's not true. I'd have wanted this regardless. I'm not sure if we could stand having such a short time while I grew older and he remained exactly the same... and I don't think, if I stayed human, he could bear watching me die. Our separation would have been delayed, but it still would have happened."

She shrugged. "This way, though, we will have plenty of time to love. And if something happens beyond either of our control to separate us, then we can't say we didn't do all we could."

Aishe still felt a little funny telling her story; it was so like her, yet unlike her. Ask anyone she knew back home, and they would laugh at the very idea of her doing something so drastic for such an abstract concept as love or romance. But the fact that she'd been mostly methodical in her plan to be here, to accomplish her goal... well, that would surprise no one at all.

Still, Fallon's view of the whole situation was far more romantic than Aishe's. To Aishe, it was logical and obvious, the step she needed to take and how to go about it. She was helped on that journey by the fact that she knew it would be received well by her 'intended' as Fallon put it... after some initial shock, probably.

The gravity of the situation struck her as humorous, and she chuckled. "You know, if anyone had predicted this for me two years ago, I'd have had them committed to the nearest psychiatric ward."

She looked at Fallon then, examining the other woman with her bright green eyes. "Has it hit you yet? Has it really sunk home? It's funny, I can think about this and talk about it... but I still wonder how I'll feel when and if it happens."

In this respect, Fallon disagreed with her friend, but it was Aishe's life, and choice, and Fallon knew better than to even think to press upon this point.

Besides, the one thing Aishe said, that Fallon still hadn't grasped...they would have forever together.

"No...no, I don't think it has sunk in yet. I mean I tell myself, probably a hundred times a day...'Fallon, you're not going to die. You're going to stay, looking just as you do now, till the end of time. You don't have to worry about Ted hurting you anymore. You don't have to worry about anyone hurting you anymore. You can live your life the way you want, do what you want, and not worry.'"

It occurred to her that she had said a lot more than might have been wise, being that she and Aishe were still getting to know each other. But it was so easy talking to her, that things just seemed to pour from her mouth.

"But it's a concept that, after twenty eight years, is going to take longer than a few weeks to get used to. I certainly wouldn't have believed it if anyone had told me even six months ago, that I would be where I am now, as I am now. That kind of news might have put me into a straight-jacket myself.

But you...you've been blessed, as it were. To know about all this before hand, and be able to prepare. Knowing this is the life you want, the transition should be a breeze.

What holds you back now?"

Aishe didn't miss a single thing Fallon had just said, but she worked backwards for the moment. "Nothing's really holding me back," she said. "I just need to find someone in my clan who can help me out. I don't want to force myself on them... not on the clan as a whole, or any one person in particular. So I can be patient and get to know my clanmates, which has been nothing but fun so far, and if the time is right and the person is right, things will work themselves out."

Now she zoned in on her friend's previous statement. "Fallon... what did you mean by not being hurt anymore? Who is Ted? Is he someone you need to watch out for? You're not in trouble are you? Do you need help?"

She knew she had just asked a bunch of rapid-fire questions, but she was immediately concerned. Her expression remained open, but inside all the little puzzle pieces were coming together; Fallon's shyness, excessive in groups of strangers, and particularly pronounced, it seemed, with men. Her timidity and reluctance to voice her opinion, her lack of confidence. Had she been mistreated? Abused?

The idea of it made Aishe burn with anger, although she kept that well-hidden so as not to frighten Fallon. She might joke about knocking sense into Kem, but if this was what it sounded like, she wouldn't hesistate to deliver the real thing to this 'Ted,' if he'd hurt Fallon.

Surely though, Fallon had seemed to be under Cyrus' protection. Unless Ted was a vampire? Had he been the one to turn Fallon? Or... no no, too much thinking! Aishe sat forward, her chin resting in her hands, and waited attentively in the hopes that Fallon would continue to speak.

"Why does it have to be someone from your clan, to...turn you? Won't they let you belong to them otherwise?"

The clan thing was more confusing than much of the other changes Fallon had gone through. For the most part she figured once she belonged to one, all the questions would be answered and she would understand. She hoped so anyway.

As she feared, she had said more than she really intended. She hated going into the story of her life...it made her sound so pathetic. No matter how she told it, she came off a victim, and that irritated her. Even if it was true.

"Ted is my ex...though not legally...I left him...ran away from home, so to speak...and wound up here in Nachton. Our's was not a 'loving' marriage, to say the least."

But then, what did she know of love...or affection...or caring? It certainly wasn't like she had been raised with any of those things.

"It's really an odd stroke of luck, I think, that I wound up here in Nachton. I left my past behind, to start a new life, and literally did just that. Do you know I have been shown more compassion from the people I've met here...strangers...than I lived with my entire life before?"

Fallon reached across the table and squeezed Aishe's hand briefly, before picking up her drink again.

"Even that...such a simple thing, to touch someone, yet for me being able to do it when I feel like it, and having someone do the same to me...it's huge! But it's also very difficult most of the time. It must sound so silly, to be afraid of touching someone..."

But when all such actions ever brought before were rebukes and rejections, the fact that Fallon even had the desire to continue to try, was a minor miracle.

She sighed...but smiled as well. Every time she told someone part of her story, it was like another chip of the wall around her was taken off. Every time she seemed just a little 'lighter'.