Boarding docks(invite only)

It was crazy to be out walking along the docks, but Shay had things to think about, and the last thing she wanted was to run into anyone. For whatever reason she had never felt threatened since moving to Nachton...maybe it was her brief knowledge of martial arts that she picked up while training at the academy...maybe it was the fact that the only person she had met who even gave her the slightest concern was now dead, and no longer a threat to her or Alexi. Whatever the reason, fear was not a thought tonight.

When she had got into her car and gone for a drive, it was with the purpose of deciding whether to return home or not. She thoroughly believed her father would pull through the chemo just fine, and that life in California would go on as usual. But then there really was no way she could NOT go home either. She missed her family, and she wanted to be with her father, and mother. She needed to see them for herself, hug them.

No, what she had to do now was find a way to tell Alexi.

Once she had a clearer picture of her true decision, she parked her car and started walking. She found herself enjoying the quiet of the docks...the darkness...the smells...the earthiness. The marina was nice, but she didn't feel nice tonight. She felt earthy, almost grimy. It was a state she found herself in only once before, after suffering another emotional trauma. When her roommate had been killed, Shay had retreated into this same kind of strange melancholy. It came and went, and fortunately was kept at bay most of the time, but when her guard was down was when it seemed to sneak upon her insidiously.

After Mar had been killed, Shay had her family around her, and had even sought counseling to get her past her sadness. But here in Nachton it was Alexi, and Tristan, and she hadn't confided in either one of them to the extent that they had any idea what she was going through. Shay was the older sister, and it just didn't feel right burdening Tristan. Alexi...Alexi had his own demons to work through. Shay didn't want to add to his problems either. And while she knew going home would help her get her life back on track, she also knew Alexi would undoubtedly do better himself. Hell, he had lived the past so many hundred years on his own, and done just fine. If she stayed now she would probably only end up making things even worse between them.

So deep in thought, as she walked along the wooden planks, she was didn't notice the empty soda can until she accidentally kicked it and it went clattering into the water. The loudness startled her, and brought her attention back to where she was. It was then that she saw a man sitting on the dock with his feet hanging over the edge, and something lying alongside him. A creepy feeling came over her, and she stopped for a few seconds, before she was able to discern who it was.

"Paul?"

A distinct metal meeting asphalt sound alerted him of the approaching visitor. He had felt the hairs on his neck go up before that but he had waited and pretended to be interested in the water below him. With one hand Panos placed Thomas's coat over his face and he waited. The footsteps were soft, not shuffly like that of a bums.

Paul?

The voice startled him a bit because it was familiar. He stood and turned to walk away from the body. The moon aluminated the visitors face and he smiled and looked a bit confused.

Shay? This is not a place i'd exspect to run into you. Run into any female really. Are you allright?

He had hoped she hadn't been in trouble or attacked out here.

Because it was dark, Shay identified Paul by his shape and familiarity, not just his face alone. And because it was dark she waited for his acknowledgement before she approached him any closer. When she did, she realized that the thing next to Paul was...a person. Lying there half covered in a coat, Shay didn't know what to make of the situation.

"Oh Paul, it is you."

Smiling tentatively she continued until she was standing just next to him, with his body between her and...whoever. More concerned about the other person, Shay half ignored Paul's question about her own well being.

"I'm fine...what's wrong with your friend?"

And though she asked, she was afraid she didn't want to hear the answer. Shay knew Paul was a vampire, by his own admission, but feeding and killing did not necessarily need to go hand in hand. This she knew as well. She hoped he hadn't killed the other person, and was mildly ashamed of herself for automatically jumping to that conclusion.

She would have sat down next to him, had they been the only ones there. Now, she wasn't so sure if she should even think about remaining at all.

Panos glanced back at Thomas the body and then over to Shay. Her eyes gave away her discomfort and curiosity. He thought for a moment on what to do. He could go shove the corpse into the water, that would clear up dock and the fact that a body was lying there, but that might bring even more discomfort to the situation. Humans had that odd ability called empathy and they felt it for everyone and everything. Even bugs. No the best thing to do was lie.

Thomas? He's fine now. Drinking bindge gone bad i'm afraid. Want a walking partner? No one will bother him.

He hoped that was good enough for her to believe. She wasnt a stupid woman but he hoped she didnt feel the need to assist Thomas somewhere safer. That could be a mess. He was thankful she couldnt see the mans face.

More than a little skeptical, had Shay not had a myriad of other things on her mind, she might have pressed further. As it was, she was feeling selfish, and chose to accept Paul's statement. She held a hand down to him, to help him up.

"I'd love someone to walk with...talk to."

It was an odd feeling Shay had for Paul. Their initial meeting had been friendly, and subsequent encounters had never shown Paul as being a danger to her, no matter what Alexi might feel. She wasn't stupid, and didn't believe for a minute that Paul was lily pure, but until he ever threatened her or her's, she would consider him a friend.

"Come on, and tell me what you've been up to. I need something to take my mind off my own problems, if only for a while."

Smiling, she wrapped her arm through his once he stood next to her, and they began walking.

Arm and arm they walked in the dirtiest part of Nachton. Not a romantic place or thing to do, but he was comfortable and feared no one in this area.

Me? I haven't been up to much. Girl problems I guess you could say. But such is life...and females. He cracked a smile to show her his last comment was in jest.

And problems? Anything i can help with?

Arm and arm they walked in the dirtiest part of Nachton. Not a romantic place or thing to do, but he was comfortable and feared no one in this area.

Me? I haven't been up to much. Girl problems I guess you could say. But such is life...and females. He cracked a smile to show her his last comment was in jest.

And problems? Anything i can help with?

It wasn't that Shay wished bad things on Paul, but he wasn't really giving her much in the way of distractions, with his minimal comment about 'female' problems.

"You...female problems? I can't imagine that. You're an attractive man, Paul...what is it...just not ready to settle down?"

And in truth Shay did think he was nice looking. Of course he was no Alexi...but then, no one else was. If Shay had known of any single women, she'd have thought about introducing them...well, if Paul hadn't been a vampire. It was one thing for Shay to be in love with one, but another to seek out a match for one...unless...there was that one girl she had met at the last Tacharan meeting.

"If you're looking, I did meet a very pretty woman at the big brouhaha at the Domicile recently. I could make some inquiries...?"

Shay really was oblivious to where they were walking. To her it was just a walk with a friend...the where's really mattered little.

"Me? Problems? Well, my father is very sick, and I'm going home for a while. Plus my brother has been visiting, and I think he's homesick and ready to go back too. Speaking of which...I don't suppose you've 'snacked' on any cute young men lately?"

The thought just popped into Shay's head, and while she was ninety nine percent positive Paul hadn't been the one to bite Tristan, that one percent pushed her to inquire. And there was always the off chance that Paul might know who HAD bitten Tristan.

"We know he was bitten, even though he doesn't. Then again, we're pretty sure it hasn't happened again, and now that he's going home, I don't guess there's really anything more to worry about."

Again Shat wondered about Paul's friend, back on the docks, but again let the matter lie.

Panos snorted.

I tend to stick to women so worry you not, tho i do appologize that your brother has unknowingly been caught up in that type of mess. If you think on the bright side of it, a 'snack' is better than a 'dinner'.

To him it seemed like a silver lining in the cloud but he wasn't sure Shay would see it that way. His eyebrow raised at her mention of the domicile.

You've been to the Domicile? The den of the hyena's is a dangerous place to go, even with an escort. I've heard theres been turmoil within the ranks, which means more of a reason to be cautious. Then again you are out here at night so i say your a risk taker.

They walked along the docks edge with no real place in mind. The sound of the water lapping up against the docking posts was soft, it seemed almost too peaceful for the Industrial district.

My female problem. He sighed Is that i neglect them. I have been sort of unreachable as of late and it caused much grief and problems. Unfortunatly it was a situation i had no control over and I don't have much in the ways of explaining myself so i've gotten the hanging up treatment. And wouldn't you know it, more men who don't like me. Anyways, you say your dad is sick? Sick enough that it warrents your return home. I hope for the best for him.

He had missed Shay and it was good to have someone to talk to besides his aunt. He was leary of busting out and saying he felt hopelessly lost in life at the moment so he skirted around some of his issues. Plus admiting that you fucked up was easier said than done. Shay knew he was a vampire but he was pretty sure that telling her he had kidnapped a women with intent to keep her as a forced familiar almost killing her and in doing so turned her into a beast very much like himself. Oh and the best part, he fell asleep for weeks and left her to stumble on her own. She would not understand that, hell he barely did.

"Yes...we did appreciate the fact that he was still human when he got home. And in theory...well, I know you and Mathias do need to feed...and others like you. It's just...I don't know...different when it's someone you love and care about."

Still and all, Shay was glad he would be going home. At this point in her life she assumed vampires were everywhere, but per capita Nachton seemed to have way more than its share. Being home to the three clans, it stood to reason.

"Yes, well, technically I am Mathias' familiar." Shay loved Alexi, body and soul, but no matter that, the whole familiar subject was extremely distasteful.

"So that makes me part of the Tacharan clan now too. I don't mind so much now that Ellis is gone. Simon seems tough, but a lot more fair, and clan minded than I ever got the impression that Ellis was. And I've met a fair share who all seem quite friendly and pleasant. As for risks...I guess I didn't tell you I used to be on the LAPD...and now am living with a vampire...yes, I'd say I don't hide from things often."

Shay smiled and gave Paul a soft jab with her elbow for emphasis.

"I know you've been unreachable...I've tried as well. But I'm glad you're around now."

His comment on men not liking him drew a sad smile from Shay. She knew Alexi didn't like Paul, but he also was understanding of Shay's affection for the other man. So far Paul had done nothing to Shay to warrant Alexi's wrath. She couldn't imagine that changing.

"Thank you for your good thoughts. It's cancer, but the prognosis is good. I just feel like I need to go see him though. It's been a half year now since I moved to Nachton...I've missed my family."

And again she found she was talking about herself. Wrinkling her nose, she turned the conversation back to him.

"And this woman...or women? Is the fact that you were neglectful irreversible? Sometimes things happen...if they are worth worrying about, they might be more understanding than you might think."

Shay was in love...wasn't it natural to want everyone to be?

Familiar?! The incredible hulk had made her his pet! So much for love, he had used that to convince Shay to be his permenant snack machine. Panos squinted his eyes in anger and his jaw twitched slightly.

Well i was more hinting at, at least your brother came home. Not always does that happen. Humans do have a tendency to run their mouths.

His tone was harsh and it wasnt warrented. He was not angry at Shay. Beisdes hadn't he tried to do the same with Fallon?

'I never told her I loved her.'

'No you just planned on forcing her.'

The dialog played out in his head. He could tell she seemed discomforted in talking about her family and was quick to change back to topics that were about him. He went along with it.


Well I guess i could try again with the woman. Though I'm not sure how much success I will have. I didn't get many words in last time and like I said what i have to explain myself with could potentially open me up to some vulnerabilities. I'm not too sure I'm willing to do that. So maybe it's best i say nothing and let it be.

It was not so dark that Shay didn't see Paul's reaction to her talk of 'familiars'.

"You don't need to worry Paul...the term familiar is only being used here because in the eyes of the clan, that's all I am to them. Mathias loves me...he dislikes the title as much as I do."

The two men may never get along, but at least Shay could do whatever possible to prevent their dislike for each other into escalating.

His anger surprised Shay, though she knew it wasn't directed at her.

"Yes, he did come home...apparently with some sort of selective amnesia. He hasn't mentioned a word about being bitten. I'm not sure he's even aware that he was. Had I not been...intimate...with vampires, I might have missed the slight bruise on his neck, and his lethargy, as the signs."

Stopping, and turning to Paul, Shay put a hand on his shoulder, softly.

"If she's important, talk to her. If not, move on. Life is too short to spend beating ourselves up over things we have no control over."

And yes, that advice was much easier to give, than to receive...but Shay was trying.

"You should realize though...if you truly want to share yourself with someone else, it is a risk. We're all vulnerable when in love, and that's damn scary...but when it works out...there's no other feeling on earth like it."

Shay pulled the man into a hug, before wrapping her arm in his again.

"You know Paul, I have to tell you...I don't really understand why I like you so much, but I do. And I guess that's why I want you to be happy too."

Her feelings for him 'were' strange. She really didn't know him all that well, and couldn't account for the reason she felt safe with him, but she did. Maybe they knew each other in a past life and some of that had carried over.

"Can I ask you a weird question? How old are you?"

Her hug surprised him slightly. He had never been good with affection. Her statements about Mathias not liking the familiar term didnt surprise him though. Men usually said anything to get what they wanted.

How old am I? Well let's see, if I do the math, and it's alot of math to do. He winked at her. Eleven hundred and sixty four years or twenty four. You pick. One makes me sound wise and the other still just a youngin. I was born in 842 AD to be specific.

So, okay...past lives were probably out. If Shay believe in that kind of thing, she probably had lived several lifetimes since Panos was born.

"Wow...that's such a long time."

And another reason Shay would like to see someone special for Paul. Living that kind of life alone just seemed too difficult to imagine.

Shay was a little curious too, that Paul had lived so long, and yet still had demons. Alexi as well. She thought that at least if you lived for hundreds of years, a time would come when you would either exorcise the demons away, or learn to live with them. Perhaps that's what they were trying to do.

"You must have seen so many wondrous things in your lifetime, traveled to so many places. Have you ever met anyone famous?"

Her thoughts had taken a bit of fancy, in trying to steer clear of her own problems.

He laughed.

Anyone famous? Not really, I was never really into stars or dictators. When the world got too messy I hid, or used it as an excuse to be extra bad. I'd get restless and join in on a revolution or two. That seems to be the problem nowa days. No revolutions. No cause to belong too. Life itself has become dull and boring. What is there left for a brat like me to do? Do I find myself a vampire wife and go make little vampire children and live out the rest of my eternal life on a farm out west?

A thought occured to him and he busted out laughing. A mental image of a farm complete with humans growing out of the ground waiting to be harvested and baled up like hay. The "kids" picking the fresh ones and him taking them into vampire suburbia to sell at a corner stand.


Ah solient green indeed.

The trouble with humans is that they didn't live long enough to think such things were funny. Even if they did live longer they had that connection that told them killing was bad.

That is my problem. There is nothing in my life that gives me a reason to do anything. Whats the point. After recent situations i've grown....tired. Tired of exsisting. You think you've asked yourself "what is life?" try living thousands of years and you'll still be asking that same question.

He didn't want to become too dreary on her. She had already seemed lost in her own dark place, she didnt need to be dragged to his.

Tell me about this Tacharan girl. The other woman of mine is past. We have a unique bond but she has developed ties for someone else. Is she bad? He cocked an eyebrow up and looked out the corner of his eye at her.

Paul's laugh made Shay feel better. In a minor epiphany she guessed if she could make her own attitude around Alexi lighter, happier, he too might benefit.

However the picture Paul painted of a possibly idyllic vampire life struck a raw nerve. The picture of a happy family...kids, husband and wife. So many things Shay thought she might have one day, and now had all but written off.

"I don't think the kids part will work for you, any better than for me. But having someone to share your life...that might make a world of difference. An agenda...a goal would help too, I'm sure...but even without that, just having someone to spend time with..."

Her thoughts trailed off, but were brought round again as his loud, boisterous laughter startled her.

"Soylent Green? Isn't that an old sci fi movie about recycling people via food tablets?"

The idea had been repulsive to Shay when she had watched the old movie, and was no less so now. Biting someone, and sucking their blood wasn't anything like eating people pills.

Shay frowned at Paul. She didn't like hearing him say he was tired of living...being...whatever he did. Mortality had taken on such a new meaning of late, yet the thought of living forever was almost as daunting...overwhelming.

His interest in the Tacharan woman made Shay smile. Showing an interest in anything was a good sign.

"Her name is Alexandra, and I only barely met her. She's VERY pretty, but I'm sure I couldn't tell you if she was 'bad' or not. I might be able to find out more about her though...if you'd like?"

Yes that would be the movie. And you still have a very human body with the very human ability of having children. Don't discredit yourself just yet. Enjoy that you have a short life, as morbid as that sounds. Dont throw it away and act like a vampire when you certainly are not one, unless thats what your ultimate goal is to end up like us. In that case don't have kids. I've heard watching them die is very hard to digest.

Sometimes his words even seemed too blunt to even himself.

I appologize if that sounded harsh, thinking before i speak isn't something i'm all to familiar with.

He had never been in love in the entire longivety of his life. Well at one point he thought he was, but the future always proved him wrong. At least thats what he told himself. He certainly had never had a romance or a fling with another vampire. Strange as that sounded.

I've been a sole runner for as long as i can remember. It may sound crazy but I have never met another female vampire that I got along with. So sure, all the more info the better right? She is in Tacharan so that gives her some 'bad' points. Seeing as how the other clans dont even acknowledge them.

As Paul said the words, Shay knew he had no idea of her situation, and was trying to be supportive. But the mention of having children cut her deeply.

"Being human has little to do with bearing children, it would seem."

The words were said softly, but bitterly. She shook her head, dropped his arm, and folded her arms across her chest. It wouldn't take a psychiatrist to notice her body language had gone into a protective mode. She continued to walk, and tried to focus on the next things he said.

"Is that what it looks like I'm doing? Acting like a vampire?"

Looking at his face, she studied it. Was he being serious?

"I mean, yes, I do sleep during most of the day now, and am awake late into the night, but many of us 'humans' keep those hours because our work dictates it."

And the bitterness in her voice was joined with a hardness that was new to Shay, but that had been growing recently. His apology almost went unheeded, but a small, soft part of her, still deep inside, took hold of it, and accepted it.

"Maybe you should start looking beyond vampire women?"

She offered incidentally.

"What about me? You said when we first met you had intended on biting me, but changed your mind. If I hadn't been involved with someone, would you have held any interest in getting to know me better?"

And even as she said the words, Shay was skeptical. What she had with Alexi was unique, she was sure. She couldn't measure everyone else by her experience. But that also didn't mean it couldn't happen to someone else. Sure there were pros and cons to her relationship, but for her the pros obviously out weighed the cons.

Her arm dropped from his and crossed defensivly over her chest. He winced inwardly.

No, I don't think your acting like a vampire. Besides your hours of sleep have nothing to do with it. Just,..just because your involved with a vampire doesnt mean your life is hopeless because we shoot blanks. Bottom line is, your going to die and hes not. Be it 30 40 years from now or tomorrow, you die. Thats a blink of an eye. All I'm saying is you'll get old and sick and frail then die, he'll always be the same and then after you die maybe it takes another century but he finds another women to love. Then when she dies and then another. Probably just like in his past. Not saying that makes him a bad guy its just a cycle of life for those who don't die. You are sacraficing something huge and we vampires, never really have to sacrafice anything at all.

He wasn't trying to be a dick but it didn't seem to be working. The more he spoke the worse it sounded even to him.

'No wonder I stay single'



And I didn't bite you because you were involved with someone. I didn't bite you because I wanted to get to know you better. You are different, strong. You werent terrified of me and that was intriquing. Not something I am all too used to.

He stopped wlaking and placed his hand gently on her arm.

Look, i'm not trying to cheapen your love with Randy Savage. And I prolly shouldn't of called him randy savage outloud either, but incidently i'd hate to see you give up your own dreams that youve had your whole life for someone that when you say forever too you mean it, and when he says it, he really knows it he can't mean it.

It wasn't his fault that he had touched a sore nerve on her, and she couldn't let him think that. This was the only reason she brought up the issue.

"Paul, blanks or not, human or not, 'I' won't be having children. I no longer have the required parts. I was...defective, and had my uterus removed...so now I have no safe haven to harbor a baby, feel it grow, carry it until it was ready to be born..."

She had explained it well that time, with very little emotion, though her words trailed off at the end as yet again the reality hit her. However, as he continued to talk, some of the things he said began to take on a meaning unlike any she had considered before.

"I'm not sacrificing anything...and strong...? I'm sorry to burst your bubble boyo...but it's all a facade."

The bitterness was still there in her voice, but not as bad. She linked her arm through his again, when he explained why he hadn't wanted to bite her, and affectionately rubbed her cheek against his arm. She still didn't see what the big deal was about him. He surely didn't look like a monster, and as long as he treated her well, she would continue to reciprocate.

His calling Alexi - Randy Savage - made Shay smile. She wasn't a huge wrestling fan, but had seen a little with the guys back on the force. Macho Man was not even close to being in the same league as Alexi, but considering it was Paul making the reference, she didn't get upset.

"Any dreams I've given up, were not a result of anything Mathias had forced me into. Mathias is really very supportive Paul."

She didn't go on, even though she could. Neither man would ever accept the other, it appeared.