The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

This is a contest held every year for the worst opening sentance to a novel.

This year's winner is:

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

Jim Guigli
Carmichael, CA

You can read the rest here

I think you'll find the half hour you spend reading these, well worth the giggles and eye rolls.