Royal Preparations ((open))

Raising her eyebrows, Dawn looked over at Amberelle before asking.

"Ok, and now you're trying to tell me bread is alive?"

Sticking her finger back into the peanut butter jar, she retrieved another dollop. After Amberelle's closing comment, she pointed her peanut buttery finger at her.

"Hey now! I've got peanut butter'n I'm nottafraid t'waste it! Watch yo'self sucka!"

Flicking her finger, her disappointment showed on her face as the peanut butter slid off and splatted onto the floor.

"Oh...or not."

Watching Amberelle play with the ingredients brought Dawn back to the earlier portion of the conversation. Quietly, she asked,

"So...um...what was growing up like for you?"

Amberelle's motions only faltered for a moment. Several emotions flickered over her face as she pondered what all to say. It was a complicated mess and best explained from the beginning. A wry smile twisted her lips. It had been hard to choke out the truth to Alex, probably because she'd feared how he would view her when he knew. But somehow knowing Dawn would be able to relate to her life, even just a little, from personal experience made telling her friend the tale not seem so impossible.

Using her hands to gently knead the dough before she lifted it and set it onto the already flour covered counter (their antics had a helpful result!), Amby looked over at Dawn. To understand my life you have to know a few things about me.. About ninety percent of it isn't very pretty. Squaring her shoulders and glancing around to make sure no one else was listening, she took a slow deep breath before she began.

De'Espionne's have belonged to my Sire for hundreds of years. As both familiars and childer. So.. I was a bebe... only six months old when my parents were killed in an accident with my aunts and uncles and he and his wife took in my cousins and I and raised us. Her jaw twitched. He is a heartless son of a bitch, but I guess being that old makes you easily bored. His favorite entertainment was taking the lash to one of us, or watching one of his goons beat us. Any old excuse would do it.. you didn't do something right, you didn't act right, you looked at him wrong... you name it. It was impossible to be good enough all the time. So I did my best to be invisible. The blonde shrugged. It didn't work.

Amberelle stopped, realizing she was beating on the dough way too hard. Sighing, she began to fold it more gently. I've served Anantya since I was 14. That's when he sent me out to make my first kill. Meeting Dawn's eyes, she explained. He is a Nightsman.. but his own personal business interests are in espionage and murder for hire.

Dawn listened quietly, and let the silence linger. Finally, just above a whisper, she replied

"Mine's just the opposite, I guess. My mother and father had a whirlwind romance that neither family approved of. They both made huge sacrifices in order to be with each other - only my grandmother on my mother's side would associate with us, and distant relations on my pop's side. Generally, they were the ones distant enough to not know that me and my brother weren't full blood. The others were left home for those trips since they looked mixed. Anyway, mom felt like she had lost everything, and then when she started getting bigger from having so many kids and the passion started dying down, she blamed us for the loss."

Pausing for a moment, she continued.

"All of us ran away at least once. My older sister drowned herself because mom hated her most for defending the rest of us and she couldn't think of a better way to get away. Most of my brothers managed to get sent to juvie, and my youngest sister. They'd keep getting sent back just to stay away from home. My oldest brother didn't make it to the hall, he got killed. We all got hit and she fucked our minds up good, but that wasn't the worst of it. Pop was just resigned to it, like he assumed it was normal. He disowned me when I went to the cops about it and mom got put away. Even though he was going through the steps of teaching me our heritage, he didn't want us either. The difference is that I didn't know until that moment."

Staring out the window into the night, she finished, in a whisper.

"At least ma was honest about hating us."

Dumping the dough into a bowl, she walked around to her clan-sister and carefully wrapped her arms around her, hugging her but careful not to get any of the sticky dough on her hands onto her. Leaning her head against Dawn's she whispered softly, We are not our pasts, we are who we want to be now, non? If I can learn to trust someone, then anything is possible. Amby meant it to comfort Dawn, but it was also for her own benefit. It was something she still had to remind herself, especially after thinking about all that she had left behind her. After a moment she released the other vampire and stepped over to the sink.

Rinsing her hands off while she thought, Amby nodded softly. There was a lot more depth to Dawn than she would let people believe. Thinking of her own manners and projections of sweet bubbly little rich girl made the boisterous and rough facade of Dawn make more sense. Oh, the blonde would bet there was some truth to it, just like her shell had roots in reality. But there were layers there people didn't see. It made the Creole sad to think she'd judged Dawn so easily instead of looking for the cracks in her facade. But that was only natural, and meant Dawn did what she did very well. There could be Nightsman potential in her yet.

Laying a damp cloth over the dough she set it on the stove and set the timer on her watch for two hours. Hopping up on the counter across from Dawn, she swung her feet some and looked at her friend. I finally ran away, when I was 30. That's how I got here. I could feel who I was slipping away and this.. monster, like him.. creeping in.

The hug was welcomed, but the words left a bit of a chill in her. If she sometimes felt like breaking the world, what did that say about what kind of person she was? Rubbing her arms a bit, she watched the blonde at the sink. The idea of being her own person was appealing, but...she had no idea where to take it. There wasn't a guideline for being a vampire beyond what your creator gave you, and hers had cast her aside. Really, the only person who had taken interest in teaching her anything, or saw any value in her had been Sorin.

Smiling, she said

"It must be nice knowing how you'd like to be. I just know what I DON'T want to be. I guess as one list gets longer the other'll shrink."

Looking down at the peanut butter jar, it seemed totally unappealing. Heading to the fridge, she opened it and looked for something different.

Amberelle just shook her head slightly as she watched the Californian. Know how you'd like to be? Is that how she seemed? Talk about being off target!

You know Dawn.. I don't know how I want to be. All I know is what I don't want to be! I've spent the last year and a half here just drifting, trying to figure out who I am and what I want. I'm barely any further along now than when I drove out of New Orleans! A smile softened her features and she hopped down and peered over her friend's shoulder. But I think you're right.. one list grows shorter and the other longer.

Grabbing a jar of kosher dill pickles, she pulled them out and opened the lid. Plucking one of the spears out she stuck it in the corner of her mouth and held the jar out towards the shorter vampire. Try a pickle. My Grandmother always said when you're hungry but don't know what you want, to eat a pickle.

I wonder if she was being dirty.. Amby shook her head and giggled.

Scrunching up her face, Dawn stuck out her tongue.

"Eeeeeugh. Pickles're fucking nasty. 'sides, th'peanut butter just made me thirsty."

Pushing some other beverages out of the way, she grabbed the carton of orange juice. Shaking it vigorously, she opened it up.

"Most grammas're pretty dirty - I was atta friend's house in like middle school when his grammy was visitin' an' she started talkin' t'us about her yeast infection outta nowhere. I think they jus don't care what other people think when they git all old - they've been through and seen more crazy shit'n most young folks could imagine so they just fly free."

Taking a big gulp of the oj, she made a slightly sour face and continued.

"Since I can't be all old'n wrinkly, maybe I just wanna act that way. Kinda say what I want'n do whatever. I guess it'd be best'a both worlds."

Nodding, she reached around Dawn and grabbed a bottle of water. Amby went back to the counter, set down the bottle and jar and hopped back up. Wiggling backwards she pulled her long legs up and sat indian style on the large island. Plucking out another spear she mulled over that logic. What her friend said made sense. Looking thoughtful, she replied between bites.

I think you're right. When people get older and realize they're about to die.. they could care less what other people think, they just say what they really think. Using a pickle nub to point at them both she scrunched up her mouth. Now you and me.. we won't ever get to that point so.. I can see where you would think that. Shrugging, she sucked some brine from her fingertips and grabbed the water. Personally.. there's no way I could be so blunt like you. The blonde sighed and looked at Dawn with a slightly sad pout. I mean, you can guess that growing up I never said or did anything that I thought would get me in trouble, so.. saying what I really think now is kind of a foreign concept. I have to analyze what its implications and ramifications could be, weigh what could happen and then say what I think is best. Not necisarrily what I really think. I guess that's what being raised by a Nightsman ancient does to a person.

Oh, and my Grandmere.. she's like a zillion, and she's Anantya.. and she's probably the sweetest, kindest, most honorable woman you'll ever meet. It's why I think she says these things every now and then that you kind of think 'did she mean.. naaahhh'. She gets away with being dirty and no one notices.

"So...like...is it just that it takes us longer to feel like we're really old or is it something that just depends totally on the person? Like...I don't really get that old person vibe from Sorin, but I totally do from Mai, and everyone says I shouldn't meet Morrigan."

Thinking for a second, Dawn realized what he was after.

"Like...we'll still kinda grow up, right? Our brains aren't as static as our bodies, right?"

Amberelle just looked at Dawn and blinked a few times. What an odd and kind of scary thought. Her mouth opened several seconds before she finally replied. I.. am pretty sure we age. Yeah.. of course we do. I mean, mentally. And emotionally for sure. Just because our bodies are static our minds aren't hindred in any way that I know of.

Twisting to look at the other Anantya better she furrowed her brow. So yeah, we do continue to "grow up". Of course we do. How else would any of our kind be able to adapt and change with the passing of time?

Her head tilted to the side and Amby studied her friend with a curious and very feline expression. Was that why Dawn always acted like she was a reckless teenager? Was it because the Californian didn't think she could grow up?

Popping back up onto the center island, Dawn swung her legs and contemplated her feet. Part of her wanted to grow, to mature...but she felt such a pull to never change. It was like the biological stasis within her body pushed her mind to keep the mold while the mind sought to expand to its potential.

"I guess I just look round'n see...well, like Ysabel'n Ambrose're great examples. I mean, they still wear th'same clothes they did last century or earlier. And Mai...she don't seem like she's really grown up'n a lotta ways, but's just way more experienced. Parta me really wants t'learn, and change, n'grow...but I feel like something's keepin me from doing it.

I mean, like th'actin' I do when I go out - sometimes I'm myself, sometimes a biker, sometimes a librarian, sometimes a socialite or whatever...but it is all just practice. None'a it really sinks in. S'like I'm just puttin' on new masks for what's there'n th'inside me never changes."

Amberelle listened intently, nodding as Dawn spoke. It was almost kind of eerie to hear her friend talk about things that mirrored her own experiences so well. Something she would never have thought they would have in common. 'Goes to show you that you can't judge someone, especially kindred, by the surface.' Setting the bottle of water aside, Amby took Dawn's hands in hers and squeezed them.

Hey, I know what you mean. I've spent more of my life wearing those masks and pretending to be what I was supposed to that well.. I don't have a clue who is actually under them all. Taking a deep breath, she chewed her bottom lip lightly for a moment. I can tell you from personal experience that growth is possible. We can change. It's not easy, at least it wasn't for me. But, she smiled at Dawn, twisting her head to look her friend in the eyes, it's possible.

A certain someone special told me recently something that I've been reminding myself of a lot, and it has helped me. "Who you are is not what you were. And what you become will be greater than what was," Shrugging at Dawn, Amberelle couldn't help but smile faintly remembering Alex saying that to her. I hope it doesn't sound cheesy to you. But I really, truely believe that if you want to grow, and change.. you can.

Straightening, her tone got a little firmer. Don't let yourself be discouraged by people like Ysabel or Ambrose or.. whoever. Just because some people get stuck in a rut.. that's their flaws, some kind of weakness in them to adapt and keep changing after a time. I can tell you're a hell of a lot stronger than something like that! And besides, you need to give yourself a few hundred years before you worry about something like that! 'Not that I don't worry about it all the time too, but we won't mention that,' she added to herself. Another thing in common between the two, seemingly, polar opposite Anantya.

Everything that Amby said had made sense, but something was still troubling Dawn. Looking serious, she removed her hands from Amberelle's, placed one on the outsides of each of the blonde's shoulders and gave a light squeeze.

"Oh...my...God. I am SO sorry...I had no idea...that I set you up with Mr. Rogers."

Laughing, Dawn rolled back off of the island and away from her friend. That was certainly slapworthy.

Her amber eyes bulged and her mouth went slack as she sputtered and gasped at the retreating back of her friend. Crawling across the island after her and sending bowls sliding and a bag of sugar perilously close to the counter's edge, she leaned over and gave Dawn the sweetest smile possible.

If that's what Mister Rogers is like in bed, you should be so lucky! Bursting out laughing at her own audacity she lost her balance and tumbled to the floor with a squeal. Pulling herself up and sitting back on her heels the blonde started laughing harder.

Dawn was already squealing with laughter, but once Amby fell onto the ground, that pretty much sealed the deal. Grabbing onto the edge of the sink, Dawn laughed until her stomach hurt and she was crying. Sniffing and wiping the corners of her eyes clear, she reached down to help her clanmate up.

"Hee...hee hee...if I hear you're naked on...hee...children's programming...oh gawd...I'll be very upset with you!"

Pulling her to an upright position, Dawn let the laughter die down.

"Ok, okokok. Non'a this's gettin' baby Jesus in that cake."

Gasping and laughing so hard she was wheezing and her sides hurt, Amberelle wiped a hand over her cheeks at the tears that had leaked out and formed little trails down her flour dusted face. She only managed to smear them. Grabbing Dawn's arm, she used it to stand up and then bumped the shorter vampire with her hip, grinning. Turning to look at the already condemnable kitchen she tried not to giggle any more. Her watch showed the dough still had a little while to rise, but the Creole figured she could get the creme filling made while it did.

True, true.. OK! I guess you still don't want to help? She glanced sideways at the shorter vampire and waited for a reply.

Laughing, Dawn made an X with her forearms.

"No way, Jose! Even if I'm NOT here, Rupert'll prolly still try'n pin this'll on me! 'Sides, I'm still all doughy. Should shower before it gets too funky. Maybe I'll stop back in inna bit. Lates!"

((Dawn outie))

Pursing her lips and glowering at Dawn as she retreated, Amberelle just sighed. That was a pretty valid point actually. Looking around the floury floor with its footprints and sneaker tracks along with half the coutners lightly dusted and smudged the blonde grinned. Yeah, if Rupert was to come in now she'd probably have to perform CPR on the poor old guy. Or heaven forbid Thaddeus came to visit. He'd be pinching his nose and sighing. Picturing that made her giggle. Her mirth quickly faded and she glanced at her ball of dough, mentally measuring and adding another small cake to her list to make for him and his beau. Amby was pretty sure she'd gotten a couple of extra babies and coins, just in case.

Bah standing around isn't getting anything done! The blonde started straightening up and lining back up her ingredients until it was all neatly arranged again, if on a messier surface now. Nodding, she started whipping up the creme custard filling. Humming along to the jazz still playing, she lost herself in the music and simple mental escape of cooking.

Snapping her cellphone shut with a sigh, Amberelle frowned. Alec hadn't answered, but hopefuly he would get her message soon and let her know where she could meet him and or Ginnie. It didn't seem right to ask for an address to have their "suprise" delivered to. And, part of her really didn't want to know where the Tacharans might be basing themselves out of, even in the doubtful chance her friend would have said. Moreover, of all of her friends her fellow former New Orleanian was probably the one she wanted to see most right now. That familiar accent would soothe some of her homesickness, she was certain.

Sighing, she looked around and pouted a little. Even the sweet smell of the cakes baking away didn't lift her mood much. Glancing at her watch, the blonde could tell there wasn't enough time left to do anything other than wait for them to be ready to take out and cool. Sliding off the counter with a soft grunt, she decided to set up her little decorating station and bustled about getting racks set out and little shakers of brightly colored sugar crystals ready to be applied.

When that was done the Creole busied herself with folding the small white bakery boxes she'd gotten and even started measuring and cutting the ribbon and bows to decorate them with. It was hard not to smile at all of the bags of decorations she'd bought in her enthusiam. Ah well, if you do something do it up right, she murmured to herself chuckling.

A loud chime went off and Amby grabbed some mitts to begin removing the cakes.

Amberelle tugged the last knot tight and fluffed the metallic ribbon streamers. The shimmering purple, green and gold spirals spilled down the sides of the small box and made the perfect topper for the stark white container. Tucking a small card into the side before adding it to the large cardboard box where several like it rested, Amby grinned down at her accomplishments. Mentally counting she nodded. Cyrus and Fallon, Alec and Ginnie, Thaddeus, a larger one to drop off at the Studio and then the last one set aside on the counter with Ambrose and Ysabell's names written in neat script on the card's envelope.

A large sheet version of the creme and berry filled pastries sat out on the counter, put out for the household here to enjoy. The blonde admired its crust of sugar crystals striped in the traditional colors and the sweet smell that rose from it. It was almost like being at home. Almost. Except there she would have her Grandmother teasing her that her stripes weren't as neatly made as the elder Anantya's. Smiling faintly, she had to admit they never were.

Blinking rapidly, she sniffed and picked up the still warm cake. The Creole had piled the dishes into the sink and wiped things down a little so she didn't think Rupert would scream too badly when he saw the mess. Still, better to go drop this off at her friends' room than to be here when he did come in.

((OOC Amby out - lock up please ))