After waiting for what Nikhila considered a reasonable amount of time she decided he wasn’t in. That upset her. She finally worked up the nerve to talk to him and he wasn’t there. Just her luck. Dejectedly Nikhila started to walk away.
She’d gotten a few feet down the hall before stopping, standing even straighter than usual and walking back to his door with determination. Perhaps he just hadn’t heard her. Her knock must have been too timid. It wouldn’t be this time, this time she rapped on the door with more confidence than she felt.
Seconds past, maybe a minute possibly two. Still no one answered. No, this was not how this was supposed to go. He must be in the shower or something. He could get out of the shower then, it wasn’t every day she swallowed her pride and came calling. Nikhila knocked louder yet. He was in there, and he would answer; even if she had to stand here all night. Although, she was starting to wish for the two by four.
Knock Knock
She'd needed a plan of attack. Lily had suggested a two by four and Nikhila actually found that tempting on some level. It was quite direct, but it was -much- easier to feel brave with a big stick to back you up. However, she'd decided to follow her own advice. It was no less direct and considerably less violent.
Still it was a plan of attack, but on the other hand Nikhila was no five star general. Willing herself to stop thinking like that she walked through the den to Xeph's rooms. Courage seemed to desert her as she stood outside staring at the door.
No, she'd sworn no more excuses, no more putting this off. She'd waited for a night she knew he was, well was fairly certain he was in and she knew the full moon was at least two weeks off so neither of them could blame anything on that added bit of madness.
She giggled. This was a madness of its own. That odd bit of humor gave her the last bit of motivation to knock. Now all she had to do was hope he answered the door.
Nikhila
16 years ago
Xeph
16 years ago
Xeph was just coming up the stairs, scrubs and coat in hand, finished from a late shift at the hospital. As he came up the hallway he heard a rhythmic tapping. His first thought was that someone was hammering something. Putting a picture up, maybe? There were still plenty of Nachton newcomers making their home here in the Den.
As he topped the stairs he saw with puzzlement that someone was knocking on his door. He'd have recognized who anywhere; there was no mistaking the tall, slender physique and that abundant, dark hair.
Scratching his head, he stopped about ten feet away. Nikhila was pretty damn focused on his door if she hadn't noticed him by now. She didn't seem outwardly upset; his first concern had been that something had happened similar to the events two weeks before, when he'd found those two men in her office.
No, this was different.
Clearing his throat, he gave her a wry half-smile and said, "What did my door ever do to you?"
As he topped the stairs he saw with puzzlement that someone was knocking on his door. He'd have recognized who anywhere; there was no mistaking the tall, slender physique and that abundant, dark hair.
Scratching his head, he stopped about ten feet away. Nikhila was pretty damn focused on his door if she hadn't noticed him by now. She didn't seem outwardly upset; his first concern had been that something had happened similar to the events two weeks before, when he'd found those two men in her office.
No, this was different.
Clearing his throat, he gave her a wry half-smile and said, "What did my door ever do to you?"
Nikhila
16 years ago
He… door… oh… dear. This was not how this was supposed to go at all. Sheepishly Nikhila stopped pounding on the door like a secret service agent and blushed. She was blushing a lot lately, and she was hardly a sweet young thing that it looked becoming on.
Xeph had managed to take the wind out of her sails by appearing behind her rather than in front of her. She was going to have to stall and regroup. Retreat was not an option.
“I though maybe you were” she almost got out in the shower but would have blushed again if she had. “you might not be able to hear me.”
Of course now that she though about it half the den must have heard her. Lovely now she was the wanton hussy pounding on the alpha’s door.
Not that that was far from the truth.
Xeph had managed to take the wind out of her sails by appearing behind her rather than in front of her. She was going to have to stall and regroup. Retreat was not an option.
“I though maybe you were” she almost got out in the shower but would have blushed again if she had. “you might not be able to hear me.”
Of course now that she though about it half the den must have heard her. Lovely now she was the wanton hussy pounding on the alpha’s door.
Not that that was far from the truth.
Xeph
16 years ago
Nikhila's blush was well worth the fun of coming up behind her, Xeph decided, but he didn't want her to stand there all embarrassed.
"Well in your defense, I couldn't hear you so you were right to go on knocking," he suggested helpfully. "That said, you obviously wanted to see me... so, shall we?"
He opened the door to his apartment, which was almost always unlocked except for when he succombed to physical weakness and absolutely had to sleep. His nightmares had never gotten better over the years; if anything, they'd gotten more graphic. He avoided sleep more than ever, getting it here and there in snatches, power naps, and very short fitful hours tossing and turning either on his bed, couch, or recliner.
He gestured Nikhila in, turning the lights onto their dimmest setting and closing the door behind them.
"What was it that had you pounding so firmly on my door? Is everything all right?"
He couldn't keep the note of concern out of his voice; not when they were in private and she was right there in front of him.
"Well in your defense, I couldn't hear you so you were right to go on knocking," he suggested helpfully. "That said, you obviously wanted to see me... so, shall we?"
He opened the door to his apartment, which was almost always unlocked except for when he succombed to physical weakness and absolutely had to sleep. His nightmares had never gotten better over the years; if anything, they'd gotten more graphic. He avoided sleep more than ever, getting it here and there in snatches, power naps, and very short fitful hours tossing and turning either on his bed, couch, or recliner.
He gestured Nikhila in, turning the lights onto their dimmest setting and closing the door behind them.
"What was it that had you pounding so firmly on my door? Is everything all right?"
He couldn't keep the note of concern out of his voice; not when they were in private and she was right there in front of him.
Nikhila
16 years ago
It was a pathetic attempt at humor, it really was, but still Nikhila smiled softly at Xeph’s quip.
Following him in she once again was hit with the urge to keep this polite and professional. But they were here, alone. The rooms felt and smelled of Xeph and that was enough to prevent her from chickening out. Of course, if she’d have known the rooms were open she would have just come in rather than making a spectacle of herself, but too late for that.
“Yes. Everything is fine.”
She paused deciding that was a lie.
“Well actually no, not everything is fine…”
To heck with this, it wasn’t how she planed. Nothing was coming out right. So Nikhila went with the original plan and tackled him.
Not quite literally, but she very quickly closed the distance between them and pulled him into a kiss. Her arms wrapped around him and she held him, as she’d wanted to for years. This was much better, and easier than talking.
Following him in she once again was hit with the urge to keep this polite and professional. But they were here, alone. The rooms felt and smelled of Xeph and that was enough to prevent her from chickening out. Of course, if she’d have known the rooms were open she would have just come in rather than making a spectacle of herself, but too late for that.
“Yes. Everything is fine.”
She paused deciding that was a lie.
“Well actually no, not everything is fine…”
To heck with this, it wasn’t how she planed. Nothing was coming out right. So Nikhila went with the original plan and tackled him.
Not quite literally, but she very quickly closed the distance between them and pulled him into a kiss. Her arms wrapped around him and she held him, as she’d wanted to for years. This was much better, and easier than talking.
Xeph
16 years ago
He just had time to toss his scrubs and coat over the back of the chair at the desk before Nikhila was pressed against him, her face turned up to his. With any other woman he'd have held back, questioned, cautioned. This was Nikhila though and if he was right the memory of what had happened in her office a couple weeks ago was tearing her up. It was sure doing that to him.
She hadn't needed to pull him into a kiss; he went along enthusiastically. Mildly surprised, yes, but that had never stopped Xeph from having the appropriate physical response. Not where Nikhila was concerned.
His big hands spanned her waist, slid around to her back and up to just beneath her shoulderblades. Mumbling a little 'mmm' of content he broke away to breathe in the scent of her hair, rich and spicy with sandalwood. He raised one hand to run his fingers through the silky wealth of it, brushing his thumb over the nape of her neck. Lifting his hand once more he pulled the two little pins on either side out and laid them carefully on the desk so as not to lose them, then bent to kiss her again.
After what seemed like ages, Xeph came up gasping. Torn between "what took you so long" and "what - huh?" he didn't want to presume. not that his presumption would be wrong, he reasoned, but Nikhila meant far more to him than to just jump on her here and now.
leading her to the couch and settling them both on it, he pulled her close and peered at her carefully.
"I think we both have some explaining to do."
She hadn't needed to pull him into a kiss; he went along enthusiastically. Mildly surprised, yes, but that had never stopped Xeph from having the appropriate physical response. Not where Nikhila was concerned.
His big hands spanned her waist, slid around to her back and up to just beneath her shoulderblades. Mumbling a little 'mmm' of content he broke away to breathe in the scent of her hair, rich and spicy with sandalwood. He raised one hand to run his fingers through the silky wealth of it, brushing his thumb over the nape of her neck. Lifting his hand once more he pulled the two little pins on either side out and laid them carefully on the desk so as not to lose them, then bent to kiss her again.
After what seemed like ages, Xeph came up gasping. Torn between "what took you so long" and "what - huh?" he didn't want to presume. not that his presumption would be wrong, he reasoned, but Nikhila meant far more to him than to just jump on her here and now.
leading her to the couch and settling them both on it, he pulled her close and peered at her carefully.
"I think we both have some explaining to do."
Nikhila
16 years ago
She was most defiantly not being turned away. There was no hesitation, not from him not from her and she was elated.
Not being what any one would call ‘easy’ did not stop Nikhila from very effectively wrapping herself around Xeph in those few moments and totally losing herself in his touch even as she sought to reach all of him that she could. She sighed sweetly as he pulled away only to joyfully return this kiss as this time he moved towards her.
She could be happy, just like this, for a very long time. She’d waited long enough for it, denied herself and right now it meant more than anything.
Part of her was disappointed when he broke away. But, she consoled herself, he hadn’t let her go. She curled up on the couch letting him hold her as close as he wanted and nodded. As simple as it would be to keep going that would not resolve anything and tomorrow and the day after and the day after they would be in the same boat they had been for years.
“We do. Both of us I think. I’m still not sure where to start though, it’s been so long.”
Seeking respite from his intense gaze with his different colored eyes Nikhila briefly rested her head on his chest feeling the rise and fall listening to his heartbeat. But just for a moment though before finding his eyes again.
“You need to know though that I’ve missed you. Every day. Since I left.”
Not being what any one would call ‘easy’ did not stop Nikhila from very effectively wrapping herself around Xeph in those few moments and totally losing herself in his touch even as she sought to reach all of him that she could. She sighed sweetly as he pulled away only to joyfully return this kiss as this time he moved towards her.
She could be happy, just like this, for a very long time. She’d waited long enough for it, denied herself and right now it meant more than anything.
Part of her was disappointed when he broke away. But, she consoled herself, he hadn’t let her go. She curled up on the couch letting him hold her as close as he wanted and nodded. As simple as it would be to keep going that would not resolve anything and tomorrow and the day after and the day after they would be in the same boat they had been for years.
“We do. Both of us I think. I’m still not sure where to start though, it’s been so long.”
Seeking respite from his intense gaze with his different colored eyes Nikhila briefly rested her head on his chest feeling the rise and fall listening to his heartbeat. But just for a moment though before finding his eyes again.
“You need to know though that I’ve missed you. Every day. Since I left.”
Xeph
16 years ago
Holding Nikhila again was perfect. There had been the odd date or two over the years, but Xeph's heart had never been in it and no one had ever felt as right in his embrace. In his heart he'd never removed himself from Nikhila, and while once or twice over the years he'd been weak, thinking she'd never return, he had ultimately been faithful.
"I've missed you too. More than I can say. But I couldn't make you come back."
And he'd wanted to. He'd known in his way, with his uncanny insight, what Nikhila felt and what could be done to make it right. There had been more than one choice though. Xeph had known of her feelings, her doubts, her insecurities. He'd done what he could to quell them with words but words had been insufficient.
Nor could he stop being the Kadzait's Alpha, a job which had frequently taken him away from Canberra at the beginning. While he was gone, settling a dispute between the Illamar and Amaroq in South Africa, Nikhila had fled. He'd seen it coming.
"There were two paths," he said, gazing at her with a solemn expression. "I could have tracked you down, pulled you back, placated you with words and touches, convinced you to stay."
Xeph knew it would have worked. Nikhila could have been manipulated into remaining with her Pack. That's exactly what it would have been, too. Plain manipulation. He closed his eyes briefly, knowing how close he'd been to doing just that, and then looked down at her again.
"Or I could go with the old, 'if you love something, let it go.'" Obviously, they knew which one he'd chosen. "It wasn't easy, Nikhila. But you had to learn. You had to find your place the hard way."
He wasn't trying to preach at her... no, never that. But they'd never discussed her leaving, and Xeph wanted her to know why he'd stepped away rather than follow her.
It had been the hardest thing to do; to remember to be an Alpha over a lover, to remember how young she had still been, and to do what was best for her and the Pack than to chase after her selfishly.
"I've missed you too. More than I can say. But I couldn't make you come back."
And he'd wanted to. He'd known in his way, with his uncanny insight, what Nikhila felt and what could be done to make it right. There had been more than one choice though. Xeph had known of her feelings, her doubts, her insecurities. He'd done what he could to quell them with words but words had been insufficient.
Nor could he stop being the Kadzait's Alpha, a job which had frequently taken him away from Canberra at the beginning. While he was gone, settling a dispute between the Illamar and Amaroq in South Africa, Nikhila had fled. He'd seen it coming.
"There were two paths," he said, gazing at her with a solemn expression. "I could have tracked you down, pulled you back, placated you with words and touches, convinced you to stay."
Xeph knew it would have worked. Nikhila could have been manipulated into remaining with her Pack. That's exactly what it would have been, too. Plain manipulation. He closed his eyes briefly, knowing how close he'd been to doing just that, and then looked down at her again.
"Or I could go with the old, 'if you love something, let it go.'" Obviously, they knew which one he'd chosen. "It wasn't easy, Nikhila. But you had to learn. You had to find your place the hard way."
He wasn't trying to preach at her... no, never that. But they'd never discussed her leaving, and Xeph wanted her to know why he'd stepped away rather than follow her.
It had been the hardest thing to do; to remember to be an Alpha over a lover, to remember how young she had still been, and to do what was best for her and the Pack than to chase after her selfishly.
Nikhila
16 years ago
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell Xeph he could have, he absolutely could have brought her back. Nikhila, however, had a talent for seeing both sides of a situation and knew she probably simply would have run again.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't have left, not like that; but, it was impossible to do when you were there. I must have tried a dozen times."Â?
That, Nikhila would always berate herself for - to run like a coward, a thief in the night; however, done was done.
She understood her role in this fiasco and from his words she understood some of his, but she wasn't sure he understood all of it. At least, not from her point of view.
"I think I must have spent the first year, maybe two half waiting for you. Convinced you'd find me. When you didn't I decided you either didn't want me or didn't need me after all. That nearly killed me."Â?
Nikhila had been in central Africa at the time and had spent night upon night for months shifted. While she kept more of her mind than most being shifted did spare her some of the emotion. At least until one of the local tribes had decided she was an evil spirit. Perhaps she had been at the time.
"I decided though it was selfish of me to feel that way, that you needed some one more able to help you with things. Some one you trusted to help you and who didn't have questions at every turn."Â?
She'd hidden behind that belief for a very long time before deciding she didn't care if that's what he'd needed. He was hers. But she'd suppressed those territorial urges for so long she was completely able to ignore them, overlook them, not even feel them and completely and totally believe that he either needed someone else or that he was no longer interested or possibly hadn't forgiven her for running away. It was just recently that veil had been lifted.
"Why didn't you say something, come for me sooner? How long could you have thought I'd needed?"Â?
While Nikhila could respect his decision to give her space and let her grow, at least she could if she thought about it completely objectively. Still, there were two of them. A hint, a word, a touch something anything to give her the idea that he hadn't completely forgotten her and what they had been (were?) to each other would not have gone amiss.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't have left, not like that; but, it was impossible to do when you were there. I must have tried a dozen times."Â?
That, Nikhila would always berate herself for - to run like a coward, a thief in the night; however, done was done.
She understood her role in this fiasco and from his words she understood some of his, but she wasn't sure he understood all of it. At least, not from her point of view.
"I think I must have spent the first year, maybe two half waiting for you. Convinced you'd find me. When you didn't I decided you either didn't want me or didn't need me after all. That nearly killed me."Â?
Nikhila had been in central Africa at the time and had spent night upon night for months shifted. While she kept more of her mind than most being shifted did spare her some of the emotion. At least until one of the local tribes had decided she was an evil spirit. Perhaps she had been at the time.
"I decided though it was selfish of me to feel that way, that you needed some one more able to help you with things. Some one you trusted to help you and who didn't have questions at every turn."Â?
She'd hidden behind that belief for a very long time before deciding she didn't care if that's what he'd needed. He was hers. But she'd suppressed those territorial urges for so long she was completely able to ignore them, overlook them, not even feel them and completely and totally believe that he either needed someone else or that he was no longer interested or possibly hadn't forgiven her for running away. It was just recently that veil had been lifted.
"Why didn't you say something, come for me sooner? How long could you have thought I'd needed?"Â?
While Nikhila could respect his decision to give her space and let her grow, at least she could if she thought about it completely objectively. Still, there were two of them. A hint, a word, a touch something anything to give her the idea that he hadn't completely forgotten her and what they had been (were?) to each other would not have gone amiss.
Xeph
16 years ago
Xeph just let Nikhila talk, nodding now and then. He understood why she'd left. He knew she didn't feel that way any longer but it seemed there were still some unresolved questions to answer. When she came to the first one he furrowed his brows curiously and tilted his head at her.
"Why didn't I say something?" His mismatched eyes widened a little. "If I recall, you did the leaving. I didn't realize I was supposed to do the fetching."
Well, that was frustrating. He was supposed to have gone to get her after she ditched him? He didn't even want to get into the double whammy of settling a small civil war and then returning home battle-scarred and bruised to find your girlfriend has ditched you and run off to wander the world in a fit of self-pity.
Yes, it had been difficult not to run after her. Yes, he'd badly wanted to. But long story short, she'd left because she felt she needed to and he'd respected her feelings.
Xeph shook his head, a slight frown on his face. "You left me; I waited. And waited."
Then after a few seconds' pause, he added, "and waited." Just to make sure she got the point. His lips relaxed into a teasing little smile.
"I'm no Don Juan. I didn't realize there was an appropriate female cooldown after which point I was supposed to come running to the rescue. I guess I just assumed you needed your space, and figuring that was best, I rode it out."
And rode. And rode... but hey, they'd covered that ground already.
"Why didn't I say something?" His mismatched eyes widened a little. "If I recall, you did the leaving. I didn't realize I was supposed to do the fetching."
Well, that was frustrating. He was supposed to have gone to get her after she ditched him? He didn't even want to get into the double whammy of settling a small civil war and then returning home battle-scarred and bruised to find your girlfriend has ditched you and run off to wander the world in a fit of self-pity.
Yes, it had been difficult not to run after her. Yes, he'd badly wanted to. But long story short, she'd left because she felt she needed to and he'd respected her feelings.
Xeph shook his head, a slight frown on his face. "You left me; I waited. And waited."
Then after a few seconds' pause, he added, "and waited." Just to make sure she got the point. His lips relaxed into a teasing little smile.
"I'm no Don Juan. I didn't realize there was an appropriate female cooldown after which point I was supposed to come running to the rescue. I guess I just assumed you needed your space, and figuring that was best, I rode it out."
And rode. And rode... but hey, they'd covered that ground already.
Nikhila
16 years ago
"And I didn't know I was supposed to come back."Â?
She countered very gently. At the time she hadn't understood that at all, she'd convinced herself of just the opposite for some time. Of course now it seemed very obvious, but for a long time.
When reminded she was the one who had left she broke eye contact and studied her hands for a second, still slightly ashamed. But it seemed that he'd more or less forgiven her, it was just something she'd need to learn to accept and live with.
"You did some leaving of your own if I remember right."Â?
He had too, all for the Pack of course, not the same as running away although some times it had felt like it. Even when he'd been home he'd often been busy and distracted. She'd offered to help countless times and occasionally she'd been able to, but too often she was too new to the Pack to the very idea of being a wolf to be much good. All of this Nikhila understood now. Hind sight was a wonderful thing.
"I'm not sure I needed to be rescued."Â?
Maybe once or twice, when she'd gotten herself in over her head. And that had happened more than she liked to admit. Still she'd managed to get herself out of those spots whether they be human, wolf, or academic and she was, she felt, the better for it.
"Just reminded. I'm just sorry it took so long."Â?
She ran one hand through his hair.
"Thank you for waiting."Â?
She replied quite sincerely to his teasing smile. While generally a very peaceful person if she'd found another woman or wolf in his life Nikhila had no doubt her own more feral instincts would have kicked in. It had taken a few years (decades) but she was quite ready and willing to fight for what was hers now.
She countered very gently. At the time she hadn't understood that at all, she'd convinced herself of just the opposite for some time. Of course now it seemed very obvious, but for a long time.
When reminded she was the one who had left she broke eye contact and studied her hands for a second, still slightly ashamed. But it seemed that he'd more or less forgiven her, it was just something she'd need to learn to accept and live with.
"You did some leaving of your own if I remember right."Â?
He had too, all for the Pack of course, not the same as running away although some times it had felt like it. Even when he'd been home he'd often been busy and distracted. She'd offered to help countless times and occasionally she'd been able to, but too often she was too new to the Pack to the very idea of being a wolf to be much good. All of this Nikhila understood now. Hind sight was a wonderful thing.
"I'm not sure I needed to be rescued."Â?
Maybe once or twice, when she'd gotten herself in over her head. And that had happened more than she liked to admit. Still she'd managed to get herself out of those spots whether they be human, wolf, or academic and she was, she felt, the better for it.
"Just reminded. I'm just sorry it took so long."Â?
She ran one hand through his hair.
"Thank you for waiting."Â?
She replied quite sincerely to his teasing smile. While generally a very peaceful person if she'd found another woman or wolf in his life Nikhila had no doubt her own more feral instincts would have kicked in. It had taken a few years (decades) but she was quite ready and willing to fight for what was hers now.
Xeph
16 years ago
He winced at Nikhila's slightly resentful tone when she mentioned him leaving. What was he supposed to do about that? Apologise for taking care of his duty as Alpha? Lives had been saved when he and Hammer had gone to South Africa that time. Xeph was a little hurt that Nikhila apparently held it against him.
Dropping a gentle kiss on her lips he said, "I can't promise I won't do it again." There was a pained expression on his face as the words came out. "Please don't make me make promises to you that I can't keep. This is my job and it's who I am. I can't change it and I don't want to."
Brushing the line of her jaw with his thumb, he searched her eyes for any signs of the frustration she'd had in the past.
"It won't always be appropriate for me to take you along, Nikhila, and I need strong Pack members here to watch over things while I'm away."
It wasn't said to placate her; far from it. What Xeph said was entirely true. There were few Kadzait less suited to the aggression and warfare their race could engage in than Nikhila. Her peaceful nature and non-combative ways were a liability in situations like the one that had dragged him away before, and Xeph wouldn't submit her to that kind of danger unless he needed her there. Her skills were best used inside the Pack here in Nachton, and she needed to realize that if they were to be a couple, a team.
"I'd rather be honest with you. I'll leave you again and again." It wasn't a threat, it was just a statement. "But as long as I know you want me here, I promise I'll always return and God, I hope next time you're there waiting for me."
Coming back to an empty home had been... despressing. Xeph wasn't the type to mope around, but it had taken a long time before he'd gotten used to being alone again, and he didn't relish going through the process again.
Dropping a gentle kiss on her lips he said, "I can't promise I won't do it again." There was a pained expression on his face as the words came out. "Please don't make me make promises to you that I can't keep. This is my job and it's who I am. I can't change it and I don't want to."
Brushing the line of her jaw with his thumb, he searched her eyes for any signs of the frustration she'd had in the past.
"It won't always be appropriate for me to take you along, Nikhila, and I need strong Pack members here to watch over things while I'm away."
It wasn't said to placate her; far from it. What Xeph said was entirely true. There were few Kadzait less suited to the aggression and warfare their race could engage in than Nikhila. Her peaceful nature and non-combative ways were a liability in situations like the one that had dragged him away before, and Xeph wouldn't submit her to that kind of danger unless he needed her there. Her skills were best used inside the Pack here in Nachton, and she needed to realize that if they were to be a couple, a team.
"I'd rather be honest with you. I'll leave you again and again." It wasn't a threat, it was just a statement. "But as long as I know you want me here, I promise I'll always return and God, I hope next time you're there waiting for me."
Coming back to an empty home had been... despressing. Xeph wasn't the type to mope around, but it had taken a long time before he'd gotten used to being alone again, and he didn't relish going through the process again.
Nikhila
16 years ago
Apparently they were going to misunderstand each other again starting right now. But this one was minor and she was right there to explain herself.
"I know. I don't want you to change who you are. I didn't understand all of it before, I didn't understand my own little piece of the picture and I certainly couldn't understand the whole picture."Â?
He was quite right though, at the time she'd been confused and resentful that he was often gone. Older, wiser, and more worldly she was able to accept what he said, she didn't even flinch when he said he'd leave her again. She only rested her cheek in his palm and nodded.
"Where ever I'm needed."Â?
She believed that now, she was needed. Just not always where she expected or hoped to be. As she'd said to Lily they all had strengths and weaknesses. She was more aware of her own now and how to use them. If he needed her to stay then she'd stay here. If he needed her to go to China or back to India or any where else for that matter for one reason or another she could do that as well.
"I promise that I will never run away from you again and that I'll always want you."Â?
She might not be able to promise to be waiting just where he left her, some times her feet itched, but she certainly was not going to disappear again. If she had an urge to move she'd make -very- sure he knew where and that she expected to either return to him or have him join her. However, that was also a bridge to cross when they came to it.
It was a very solemn promise. She meant every word and reached to him to seal it with a kiss.
"I know. I don't want you to change who you are. I didn't understand all of it before, I didn't understand my own little piece of the picture and I certainly couldn't understand the whole picture."Â?
He was quite right though, at the time she'd been confused and resentful that he was often gone. Older, wiser, and more worldly she was able to accept what he said, she didn't even flinch when he said he'd leave her again. She only rested her cheek in his palm and nodded.
"Where ever I'm needed."Â?
She believed that now, she was needed. Just not always where she expected or hoped to be. As she'd said to Lily they all had strengths and weaknesses. She was more aware of her own now and how to use them. If he needed her to stay then she'd stay here. If he needed her to go to China or back to India or any where else for that matter for one reason or another she could do that as well.
"I promise that I will never run away from you again and that I'll always want you."Â?
She might not be able to promise to be waiting just where he left her, some times her feet itched, but she certainly was not going to disappear again. If she had an urge to move she'd make -very- sure he knew where and that she expected to either return to him or have him join her. However, that was also a bridge to cross when they came to it.
It was a very solemn promise. She meant every word and reached to him to seal it with a kiss.
Xeph
16 years ago
That was better, Xeph thought with a sigh. There really was no resentment. It was better than he'd hoped for. He hadn't been sure Nikhila would ever be ready to return to him.
Touching his forehead to hers as she rested her cheek in his hand, he said, "You're definitely needed right here."
Her kiss had never been cool, never sedate, no matter how collected Nikhila herself was. Nothing had changed there, and it still warmed him from head to toe. Not to mention everywhere in between.
It had been a very long time.
Xeph didn't labor under the assumption that everything would be all rosebushes and rainbows from here on out, but as long as they kept talking to each other, they could work it out. No more running for either of them.
For the moment though, talking was definitely out of the equation. Their lips and tongues were occupied elsewhere. Finally, Xeph decided to take the initiative.
"Fuck this."
He'd been waiting twenty-some-odd years, damnit. Standing quickly, he bent down and grabbed Nikhila around her waist, lifting her easily and throwing her over his shoulder as she yelped in surprise.
"You're mine, woman," he growled as he locked the front door and carried her, laughing, into the bedroom.
Sure, sex wouldn't solve a thing... but damn, it would go a long way towards making them both feel a lot better!
((ooc: Xeph and Nikhila out, grabby with permission!))
Touching his forehead to hers as she rested her cheek in his hand, he said, "You're definitely needed right here."
Her kiss had never been cool, never sedate, no matter how collected Nikhila herself was. Nothing had changed there, and it still warmed him from head to toe. Not to mention everywhere in between.
It had been a very long time.
Xeph didn't labor under the assumption that everything would be all rosebushes and rainbows from here on out, but as long as they kept talking to each other, they could work it out. No more running for either of them.
For the moment though, talking was definitely out of the equation. Their lips and tongues were occupied elsewhere. Finally, Xeph decided to take the initiative.
"Fuck this."
He'd been waiting twenty-some-odd years, damnit. Standing quickly, he bent down and grabbed Nikhila around her waist, lifting her easily and throwing her over his shoulder as she yelped in surprise.
"You're mine, woman," he growled as he locked the front door and carried her, laughing, into the bedroom.
Sure, sex wouldn't solve a thing... but damn, it would go a long way towards making them both feel a lot better!
((ooc: Xeph and Nikhila out, grabby with permission!))