“Best not to need it, but any time.”
He agreed.
Sooner or later she’d find out just how serious he was about exploring. Mostly because he got disoriented so easily and had trouble finding his way back on track. So exploration was as much self-preservation as anything. He just laughed at the idea of getting her bearings.
“That just means there’s more to find.”
Yes, he was a nearly incurable optimist. What were you going to do about it?
He watched her half work through a range of emotions and didn’t know what to do for her. It seemed best to let her find her own way.
“Nope, not fair at all. And who says we can’t be greedy? Besides, it’s not really greedy to want a normal life. And anything that sudden and that traumatic isn’t normal.”
There was no way he could tell her, or even suggest how to move on. Maybe not move on maybe just accept and incorporate it into your life. What he did know was it wasn’t wrong to be sad and hurt and still dealing with it.
He laughed at the idea of being settled in and unpacked.
“I brought one bag with me. I’m making a list of what I should have brought and didn’t. I’m good for toting and hauling though. But I draw the line at sleeper sofas. I’ll lug a king sized bed if you give me a few trips but the sleepers sofas are right out. Damned things are –heavy- and awkward.”
Beowulf...boring or brilliant?
"Ugh"
Jillian had read the last passage three times, and still had no idea what it was about. To go to the library and study seemed a good idea at the time. Where else could she find quiet, and anything she might need for her class on English Lit. Studying in the library had lasted all of about fifteen minutes before she gave that up and came outside to sit by the fountain. The sun felt so good, and warm, and conducive to learning about the epic poems of Old English literature. But Beowulf was turning out to be nothing like she had expected, and much more difficult for her to get interested in than she had hoped.
Intending to just take a quick break, Jilli had rolled up her jeans, kicked off her sandals, and stuck her feet in the cool water of the fountain, setting her book aside, and tilting her head up toward the cloudless sky. She was fortunate to have naturally dark skin, and not susceptible to burning but still never took that for granted, and rarely stayed out in the sun for more than a half hour or so at a time. After a bit she was going to go sit under a tree, on a patch of grass alongside the library wall, but not she was enjoying her short respite.
When several minutes had passed, Jillian pulled her feet from the water, turned, and picked up her book again. Sighing, she started reading, and soon was reciting the poem out loud.
" The words of the poet,
the sounds of the harp,
the joy of people echoed.
The poet told how the world
came to be, how God made the earth
and the water surrounding,
how He set the sun and the moon
as lights for people
and adorned the earth
with limbs and leaves for everyone.
Hrothgar's people lived in joy,
happy until that wanderer of the wasteland,
Grendel the demon, possessor of the moors,
began his crimes."
She considered the passage, and found it more interesting now. Excited, she continued on.
"One night, after a beer party,
the Danes settled in the hall
for sleep; they knew no sorrows.
The evil creature, grim and hungry,
grabbed thirty warriors
and went home laughing.
At dawn, when the Danes learned
of Grendel's strength,
there was great weeping.
The old king sat sadly,
crying for his men. Bloody
footprints were found."
Now the sun was starting to feel hot against her neck. Jilli grabbed her sandals, and with book in hand moved to the shade of a large Magnolia tree, where she plopped down and continued reading...really beginning to enjoy the story so much more now.
Drew
16 years ago
Jillian
16 years ago
"You're right, of course. Greedy or not, I'd give anything to have them back with me. Its just...well, not only is that not going to happen, but my parents raised me to be thankful for what I have, and to not envy, or lust after what I don't. So when I get low, I sometimes get angry, then all their wonderful teachings don't seem to compare to the loss, and I forget."
Drew's thoughts mirrored hers though, and it helped to hear so she could give herself an out. Guilt was never an easy burden to carry, and when it wasn't due, it became even harder.
"No...you expect to lose your parents at some time in your life, but a lot later. Now they won't be there to see their grandchildren, or vice versa...which only adds to the loss."
But Jilli was doing better with grieving, and it was getting easier to talk about.
"I don't know if its 'cheating', but it is easier if I just think of them as being away...I know they aren't, but ... I don't know... do you think that's normal?"
Validation always helped too, if it came from someone who's words mattered.
Moving on to the subject of housing was a welcomed diversion, and now that she heard Drew admit to not HATING being drug along, she quickly started making plans.
"Okay then...I need to get out, you don't think the idea of shopping sucks, I need to get some pictures, towels, and a few other assorted knick knacks to make my home 'my' home... Plus, you've already blown off your earlier commitment." Jilli giggled as she gave Drew a teasingly admonishing look. She was someone to contend with when she was good and truly angry, but otherwise she did not have a poker face..
"You don't have to worry about any heavy furniture, but I can't say I won't load your arms down with lots of bags and boxes!"
The suite Xeph had set her up in was monstrously huge, in comparison to her little bedroom back home, but it was sufficiently furnished with the basics. The problem was it could have been ANYONE's home...there was no 'Jillian' in it, and that was what needed to be rectified.
"And if you're hungry after, I'll treat...its the least I can do."
Looking at him with puppy dog eyes, completely unabashedly, Jilli waited for his response, knowing in the back of her mind that she was close to taking advantage of his good nature, and not really caring...too much.
Drew's thoughts mirrored hers though, and it helped to hear so she could give herself an out. Guilt was never an easy burden to carry, and when it wasn't due, it became even harder.
"No...you expect to lose your parents at some time in your life, but a lot later. Now they won't be there to see their grandchildren, or vice versa...which only adds to the loss."
But Jilli was doing better with grieving, and it was getting easier to talk about.
"I don't know if its 'cheating', but it is easier if I just think of them as being away...I know they aren't, but ... I don't know... do you think that's normal?"
Validation always helped too, if it came from someone who's words mattered.
Moving on to the subject of housing was a welcomed diversion, and now that she heard Drew admit to not HATING being drug along, she quickly started making plans.
"Okay then...I need to get out, you don't think the idea of shopping sucks, I need to get some pictures, towels, and a few other assorted knick knacks to make my home 'my' home... Plus, you've already blown off your earlier commitment." Jilli giggled as she gave Drew a teasingly admonishing look. She was someone to contend with when she was good and truly angry, but otherwise she did not have a poker face..
"You don't have to worry about any heavy furniture, but I can't say I won't load your arms down with lots of bags and boxes!"
The suite Xeph had set her up in was monstrously huge, in comparison to her little bedroom back home, but it was sufficiently furnished with the basics. The problem was it could have been ANYONE's home...there was no 'Jillian' in it, and that was what needed to be rectified.
"And if you're hungry after, I'll treat...its the least I can do."
Looking at him with puppy dog eyes, completely unabashedly, Jilli waited for his response, knowing in the back of her mind that she was close to taking advantage of his good nature, and not really caring...too much.
Drew
16 years ago
“Nothing wrong with forgetting now and again, none of us are perfect. So long as you remember after a bit that’s the important part.”
Given the average life span of wolves Drew thought it was very likely his grandfather would see his great grandchildren, if not great great… it all depended on how fast the all decided to spawn. He was not looking to have any kind of off spring anytime soon so…
“Well I can’t rightly say it’s cheating. If you start getting delusional then it’s a problem, but depending on how you believe they are just away. So in that respect it isn’t cheating.”
He lapsed into a thoughtful silence. He didn’t have any way to relate to Jillian’s experience. His paternal grandmother had met an untimely end but he’d been very young, he didn’t really remember her so it wasn’t the same.
Huh what? Who? He’d been drafted. Well good, he’d offered it was good to be taken up on it. Although most of what he was hearing sounded like decorating, he didn’t get decorating but as long as she didn’t ask for advice they’d be good.
Easily he fluidly got to his feet and offered her a hand so she could stand too.
“I’m good for getting things down off tall shelves too. But I’ll warn you I’m almost always hungry. Come on, now’s as good a time as any.”
Given the average life span of wolves Drew thought it was very likely his grandfather would see his great grandchildren, if not great great… it all depended on how fast the all decided to spawn. He was not looking to have any kind of off spring anytime soon so…
“Well I can’t rightly say it’s cheating. If you start getting delusional then it’s a problem, but depending on how you believe they are just away. So in that respect it isn’t cheating.”
He lapsed into a thoughtful silence. He didn’t have any way to relate to Jillian’s experience. His paternal grandmother had met an untimely end but he’d been very young, he didn’t really remember her so it wasn’t the same.
Huh what? Who? He’d been drafted. Well good, he’d offered it was good to be taken up on it. Although most of what he was hearing sounded like decorating, he didn’t get decorating but as long as she didn’t ask for advice they’d be good.
Easily he fluidly got to his feet and offered her a hand so she could stand too.
“I’m good for getting things down off tall shelves too. But I’ll warn you I’m almost always hungry. Come on, now’s as good a time as any.”
Jillian
16 years ago
Spurred on by the fact that this had sort of been Drew's idea, or at least the part where he had happily volunteered, Jilli too jumped to her feet with the aid of his hand.
Bending over to pick up her book, she slid her sandals back on and brushed off her pants. Tucking the book under her arm, she bounced a few times on the balls of her feet, raring to go.
"You'll definitely be a lot of help with high shelves." Jilli stood closer to Drew to emphasize the difference in their heights, then looked waaaaaaaaaaay up to him, and grinned.
"And hungry...I guess I'll have to admit I won't be able to keep up with you there, but I can put a fair amount of food away myself. My mom always said I had to, to keep my 'busybody' going."
So much of what she remembered about her parents made her laugh. She was ever thankful for that.
"You probably won't need to remind me, because my internal food clock is set pretty regular, but if you find you're getting weak, just point me to any restaurant, and we'll break for food."
They were walking toward the parking lot, where Jilli's Yaris was parked, and not knowing if Drew had a ride, she offered. Only after she offered she wondered how he would get his long legs in, but reasoned since he wasn't the only tall man in the world, the car must be big enough.
"I drove, you?"
Bending over to pick up her book, she slid her sandals back on and brushed off her pants. Tucking the book under her arm, she bounced a few times on the balls of her feet, raring to go.
"You'll definitely be a lot of help with high shelves." Jilli stood closer to Drew to emphasize the difference in their heights, then looked waaaaaaaaaaay up to him, and grinned.
"And hungry...I guess I'll have to admit I won't be able to keep up with you there, but I can put a fair amount of food away myself. My mom always said I had to, to keep my 'busybody' going."
So much of what she remembered about her parents made her laugh. She was ever thankful for that.
"You probably won't need to remind me, because my internal food clock is set pretty regular, but if you find you're getting weak, just point me to any restaurant, and we'll break for food."
They were walking toward the parking lot, where Jilli's Yaris was parked, and not knowing if Drew had a ride, she offered. Only after she offered she wondered how he would get his long legs in, but reasoned since he wasn't the only tall man in the world, the car must be big enough.
"I drove, you?"
Drew
16 years ago
“So long as you’re not one of those freaky girls who doesn’t eat. They always make me nervous.”
In addition, he was always afraid he’d break them. Hell he was afraid he’d break Nikhila too, not that he ever was given the chance, but at least he knew she had a healthy appetite. Not eating seemed like avoiding life. All in all Drew much preferred a healthy looking girl. But he was off the point.
“I’m getting good at the bus.”
He winked at her, teasing.
“Why do you think I was car shopping? My old wheels never would have made it cross-country. Sold them before I moved out here.”
And he’d sell what ever he bought here when he moved back. No big deal right? Right.
“So feel like giving a down on his luck guy a lift?”
In addition, he was always afraid he’d break them. Hell he was afraid he’d break Nikhila too, not that he ever was given the chance, but at least he knew she had a healthy appetite. Not eating seemed like avoiding life. All in all Drew much preferred a healthy looking girl. But he was off the point.
“I’m getting good at the bus.”
He winked at her, teasing.
“Why do you think I was car shopping? My old wheels never would have made it cross-country. Sold them before I moved out here.”
And he’d sell what ever he bought here when he moved back. No big deal right? Right.
“So feel like giving a down on his luck guy a lift?”
Jillian
16 years ago
"Freaky...that's me, but not in that way. Not eating has ever been a problem."
And when the time came for them to dine, she hoped she didn't embarrass herself by how much she did eat. Apparently the night she arrived in Nachton had either been different, or Drew had been focusing on the others around her, and not seen how much she ate.
"If my metabolism ever slows down, I'll really be in trouble then." But she had seen her mother eat in the same manner, and never gain weight, so it seemed they were just lucky that way. She wasn't so vain as to constantly worry about every pound of weight she gained or lost, but she didn't want to become so obese as to become unhealthy either. For now, at least that wasn't going to be a problem she would be facing.
"Of course you can ride with me..." And she meant that, completely. It was just...well...watching him fold himself into the passenger side of the car...well that should be interesting.
They reached the pretty blue vehicle quickly, and Jilli unlocked the doors with the key fob in her hand. Rather than go to the driver's side immediately, she put her book into the back through the hatch, then waited to see if she might need to offer Drew any assistance.
"You can move the seat all the way back...hopefully that will do..."
Eying the passenger side of the car, then Drew's long legs, Jilli could only hope it worked out.
And when the time came for them to dine, she hoped she didn't embarrass herself by how much she did eat. Apparently the night she arrived in Nachton had either been different, or Drew had been focusing on the others around her, and not seen how much she ate.
"If my metabolism ever slows down, I'll really be in trouble then." But she had seen her mother eat in the same manner, and never gain weight, so it seemed they were just lucky that way. She wasn't so vain as to constantly worry about every pound of weight she gained or lost, but she didn't want to become so obese as to become unhealthy either. For now, at least that wasn't going to be a problem she would be facing.
"Of course you can ride with me..." And she meant that, completely. It was just...well...watching him fold himself into the passenger side of the car...well that should be interesting.
They reached the pretty blue vehicle quickly, and Jilli unlocked the doors with the key fob in her hand. Rather than go to the driver's side immediately, she put her book into the back through the hatch, then waited to see if she might need to offer Drew any assistance.
"You can move the seat all the way back...hopefully that will do..."
Eying the passenger side of the car, then Drew's long legs, Jilli could only hope it worked out.
Drew
16 years ago
Hmmm… he never had liked compacts. He was all about the gas mileage and efficacy and yada yada yada but there was, well being a less than small guy in a very small car. But he shrugged philosophically, it wasn’t like he hadn’t dealt with compacts before. At least it wasn’t one of those damned Smart Cars, they looked like roller skates.
“That should do it. I knew a guy once who had a Geo Storm, I don’t even think they make them any more, any way I could get in and out of the backseat, it just took some concentration.”
Concentration, will power, a lot of flexibility and occasionally a pulled muscle…oh and slouching like you believe or putting his head through the top. Wow, how had he managed that?
He slid the seat back as far as it could go, studied the problem with a lot of twisting and turning he managed to get himself into the seat. Not too bad, almost comfy, he just hopped there wouldn’t be –too- many stops.
“I’m thinking we should probably hit the strip, from what I’ve seen that will have the most options. But your call.”
“That should do it. I knew a guy once who had a Geo Storm, I don’t even think they make them any more, any way I could get in and out of the backseat, it just took some concentration.”
Concentration, will power, a lot of flexibility and occasionally a pulled muscle…oh and slouching like you believe or putting his head through the top. Wow, how had he managed that?
He slid the seat back as far as it could go, studied the problem with a lot of twisting and turning he managed to get himself into the seat. Not too bad, almost comfy, he just hopped there wouldn’t be –too- many stops.
“I’m thinking we should probably hit the strip, from what I’ve seen that will have the most options. But your call.”
Jillian
16 years ago
Clapping her hands, and bouncing on her feet, Jilli was ecstatic Drew got himself inside the car, and didn't look TOO uncomfortable.
Bounding to her side she slipped in, turned on the engine, and opened the sunroof.
"That should give you decent ventilation." She grinned at him before she shifted into reverse, spun out of the parking space, then shifted into drive.
"Hold on to your seat...next stop the strip it is. I'll try to get you there quickly, as well as in one piece."
And again she laughed but took off like a bat out of hell, without a backward, or sideways glance.
(Jillian and Drew out)
Bounding to her side she slipped in, turned on the engine, and opened the sunroof.
"That should give you decent ventilation." She grinned at him before she shifted into reverse, spun out of the parking space, then shifted into drive.
"Hold on to your seat...next stop the strip it is. I'll try to get you there quickly, as well as in one piece."
And again she laughed but took off like a bat out of hell, without a backward, or sideways glance.
(Jillian and Drew out)