They made me do it (Attn Kem and Aishe)

Pak had thrown up every wall she could trying to hide how nervous, scared, and angry she was. She had desperately -not- wanted to leave the towers, in fact she hadn't left in days or was it weeks? It didn't matter the towers had everything she could need or want and beyond that she had the internet and things could be delivered the only thing that was a little trick was eating. She was managing that though through a combination of bagged blood and the occasional odd snack supplied by Aishe or Kem. More often than not Kem though, Pak was a bit hesitant about biting Aishe. Even with that though, she had a slightly drawn look about her. Although whether that was from fear or from a lack of hunting, it was hard to say.

Apparently, though they had decided that it was time for her to leave the nest. Repeated subtle suggestions to get out and get some fresh air had turned into direct suggestions. Pak had finally succumb but, not to put to fine a point on it, she was worried. Worried he could have followed her and worried he'd try and hurt her friends and there was no way she could stop him if he did something. And of course, they thought that the walk would do her good.


"I still think an armored car counts as getting out and getting some fresh air."Â?

Pak was exaggerating slightly, a regular car would have been just fine. At least the gardens weren't crowded. She felt like she could keep an eye on everything and didn't feel trapped. It was probably something that was driving Kem and Aishe both crazy but Pak kept glancing about watching people and checking for potential escape routes.

Aishe 15 years ago
Aishe, walking along on Pak's left, grinned at her friend. "An armored car counts about as much as a rabid wolf makes a good house pet."

Oddly enough it was Kem who had been the most insistent on Pak's getting out of the towers and venturing back into the big wide world. Aishe had a number of theories on that score, not the least of which was the fact that she knew how much Kem had on his plate right now, and the sooner Pak got back on her feet the better they'd all feel.

She knew Pak's flip comment was an attempt to cover up nerves. Empathy told her nothing, but she didn't need a supernatural ability to understand how jumpy the other woman was.


"Besides, how will you bite anyone through the plating?" She said it vey low although there weren't that many people around this evening.
Kem`Raaisu 15 years ago
Kem, from Pak's right side, snickered at the two women before focusing on Pak. "What, you want to demolish my new car too? I don't think it'd fit in here."

Hands in his pockets, he was strolling alongside them at Pak's pace, which he could swear was getting slower and slower.


"Look at these people. They don't bite. We do, remember?"

He smiled at Pak. "Besides, safety in numbers right?"

It was high time Pak got herself over her fear. Justified it may be, but it hurt to see her too terrified to leave her safety zone. Sometimes Kem looked at her and saw flashes of himself, and that wasn't a good thing. So he had pushed, poked, and prodded until she agreed, however reluctantly, to go with them today. It was a start.
Pakpao 15 years ago
“If we can get an armored car I promise to start keeping a rabid wolf. Maybe we can arrange an exchange program.”

Did werewolves get rabies? Pak wondered holding on to the thought as long as she could in hopes it would distract her. It didn’t, not for long.

While she didn’t say anything Pak’s lips whitened slightly at the idea of biting any one. Biting wasn’t a good idea right now. That’s how he’d found her in the first place. So feeding was a weakness and put mortals at risk. Two things she was trying to avoid. Realizing Aishe was prodding her toward the next step already Pak just rolled her eyes at the younger vampire.


“Is that why were walking? You’re afraid for your car?”

Gah! No more pushing. Couldn’t they just be happy she was outside? Pak, however, couldn’t find it in her to snap at either one of them at least not yet. They were just trying to help, although she didn’t think she had a problem. Not really… well OK but a little one.

“Some of them bite.”

Pak said very –very- softly. You couldn’t tell another vampire just by looking. She knew both Aishe and Kem weren’t incompetent when it came to self-defense. She’s watched them spar with each other, hell they’d tried to teach her a bit. Regardless she didn’t think they made a particularly intimidating trio.
Aishe 15 years ago
Aishe shrugged at Pak's attitude. She disagreed with Kiamhaat and Pak on the score of biting the unwary. Possibly because of her background, which like so few vampires' was full of good memories and personal choices. She had, in this regard, very little in common with her companions. She understood they had both been turned against their will and had taken a log time to come to terms with their identities. In a way they were still doing so.

For herself, she'd come to terms with it long before her own turning and had actively sought it out. She wasn't sure how she viewed hunting, although she had noticed a distinct difference in taste between animal, human, and vampire. She hunted now with detachment and generally appeased her conscience by choosing targets no one would miss. Someday that might not work, but for now it served her well. Aishe wasn't sorry, didn't regret what or who she was. Sometimes she worried about what she might become though. Still, that wasn't something she was ready to discuss with Pak or Kiamhaat... not given the current state of affairs.

Instead she just turned to Pak and smiled.
"I'm pretty sure you're getting neither one," she snickered. "So you'll just have to deal without."
Kem`Raaisu 15 years ago
Kem raised his eyebrows at Pak. "As if there could be any doubt. Not only my car, but my life savings. BMWs don't grow on trees."

He could banter with Pak all day if it kept her mind off of her fear. Aishe, unperturbed by Pak's grouchiness, simply walked along on their friend's other side, thinking thoughts she wasn't sharing for the moment. Kem, however, was attentive enough to hear Pak mutter under her breath and he shot her a sharp glance.


[Cut that out.]

It had been weeks since Pak had set foot outside of the Towers and he wasn't entirely sure how to deal with her. he was divided. As her friend he wanted to give her the time she needed to get over her fear, to shelter her for as long as it took. But there was another side to him now that was being forced to the fore out of necessity, a side he knew Pak was growing to resent, the side that put the good of the Clan before the good of one member.

He needed Pak strong, whole, and with her head on her shoulders. If she spent the next fifty years jumping at shadows he couldn't rely on her. Maybe it was hypocritical of him, the man who had spent the better part of his life running and hiding. Then again, maybe not. He was learning to face his fears. Life lessons had been coming thick and fast in recent years, and he liked to think he wasn't stupid enough to look a gift horse in the mouth.


[Even if they do bite, they're not coming after you.]

He sent the words to Pak; short, terse, protective. He might not be a paragon of martial expertise but he was no slouch and he had the strength of centuries behind him. They were in the middle of busy Nachton at night, and they were knowledgable of the potential dangers they might face as "normal folks." Being prepared for an eventuality was worth a good deal.
Pakpao 15 years ago
“I don’t think there is room for a wolf in my apartment any way.”

Pak made a show of being put out about her little plan being ruined.

At Kem’s voice in her head, she stopped short and turned to face him, and just glowered. She knew she was.. well she wasn’t herself and she didn’t like being constantly afraid. But damned it she didn’t need him growling at her, well nearly growling. She was working on this, sort of. What she was working on was finding the bastard. So far, she and MARI hadn’t had much luck. If she knew where he was then she’d know where was safe, at least that’s how her logic ran.

To make matters worse she wasn’t sure if she was dealing with the Anti-Kem or her friend. Some days it was hard to tell. Irritated she stalked off a half a dozen paces before stopping half in apology and half because she didn’t want to be separated.


[I am –trying-.]

She sent back, obviously exasperated, frustrated and a few other ‘ated’s besides. It wasn’t as if she enjoyed being terrified and barley able to function.
Aishe 15 years ago
Aishe darted a glance between Kiamhaat and Pak before deciding they were having a private discussion of some sort. She wasn't going to get involved; this was something they had to work out. She was pretty sure she knew the details, or at the very least could make well-educated guessesbased on what she knew about them both.

As Pak raced out in front and stopped abruptly, Aishe waited quietly for whatever it was to blow over, if it was going to blow over. She couldn't add anything since nothing had been said to her specifically.
Kem`Raaisu 15 years ago
Kem stopped walking, as did Aishe, when Pak had a minor temper-tantrum. Instead of backing down, he just crossed his arms over his chest and waited for it to finish. It was short, thankfully. He hadn't wanted to argue.

He tried his best to send something resembling emotional sunshine and puppies her way, not certain if he would be successful.


[I know you are, senet.]

Kem resumed walking, Aishe alongside. When they reached Pak they split into their former arrangement again, one of them on either side of her.

[I just don't think he should have this kind of hold over you.]
Pakpao 15 years ago
She –really- didn’t want to fight with Kem right now, not if she could help it. It was much better to have support rather than another antagonist. So, Pak was sincerely making an effort to view anything Kem or Aishe said from their point of view. It was something of an effort.

[I didn’t think he did. Not until he found me.]

It really was disconcerting just how much fear he’d managed to instill in her.

She felt a little bit more cheerful, but quickly realized it was Kem and did her best to shut it down. It wasn’t that Pak didn’t appreciate the effort but she did want to beat this on her own.

Wanting to beat it didn’t mean she didn’t feel better when Kem and Aishe took up their previous positions on either side of her. In return, Pak made a conscious effort to stop looking around like she was going to be jumped at any second.


[How would you get over this?]

Realizing that she hadn’t spoken allowed Pak put the question back out there, in a modified form, including Aishe.

“So what is the next step in all this, I mean how long do you plan to take evening constitutionals with me?”
Aishe 15 years ago
Well, apparently whatever it was was over before it had begun. Aishe followed Kiamhaat's lead and just kept on walking with them both. When Pak finally spoke, Aishe looked at her with surprise.

"For as long as it takes."

She looked at Kiamhaat questioningly. Was that what their brief tiff had been about? Surely not. There had to be more to it. She wasn't going to ask now though... in fact, she was sure he would talk to her when they were alone. One thing she knew he was fast falling out of the habit of, was keeping things hidden.

To Pak, she shrugged.
"Fresh air is healthy, anyway."

Nevermind that whether or not the air was fresh mattered not at all. Aishe hadn't been a vampire long enough to stop thinking in those terms. Maybe, she figured, a few hundred years from now, she would remember. But for now getting fresh air seemed of utmost importance to anyone's continued longevity.
Kem`Raaisu 15 years ago
Kem nodded. Pak's words made sense. Of course she couldn't know. Like him, she hadn't seen her creator since the deed was done. He could answer her next question though, and did.

[How do you think I'd get over it? I'd chicken out, run away, and hide in a dark hole for the next five hundred years. That said, I think you're a better person than that.]

Well... that was the answer she probably expected. Maybe not the one she needed though, so he amended it.

[Honestly I don't know. I've thought about it; don't think I haven't. In your position though? I can't say what I would feel. Fear, anger, sadness... I think maybe all of those mixed together.]

Pak had returned to normal speech, and although he knew she was capable of carrying on multiple conversations, he did so as well. Aishe answered first and he couldn't say much else but to agree with her, giving a small inward sigh but nodding agreeably.

"As long as it takes."
Pakpao 15 years ago
He might run, but Pak wasn’t so sure Kem would hide at least not for five hundred years. She’d seen a number of changes, some big some little in Kem over the years. He didn’t give himself enough credit, and he gave her too much. Pak stuck her tongue out at him for the cliché answer.

At least he gave her a real answer too, so Pak didn’t throw another fit.


[I’m not sure if I wish I could explain it to you or I’m glad I can’t. I hate him, I hate him and I’m… I wish I knew what he wanted or if he found me by accident.] She paused for a second, [And for some reason I keep thinking of my family. I miss them.]

It wasn’t that Pak was trying to exclude Aishe from this side of the conversation. She was actually trying to shield her friend. Aishe had been lucky enough to have a positive experience when she was turned, Pak didn’t want to taint that. Kem, on the other had, as much as Pak wanted to protect him as well unfortunately this was something that wasn’t as unfamiliar to him.

“I’m sure a million moon lit walks will counteract my cloves.”

She didn’t say it sulkily, Pak made an effort to say it with her usual snarkyness.

“Where should we go tomorrow? The art museum?”

Pak was trying to show she was making an effort, she –did- want to beat this. She didn’t like being baby-sat. Oh she appreciated it to no end but she couldn’t live the next several hundred years this way.
Aishe 15 years ago
Aishe grinned at Pak. "I'm sure they will. Those cloves are going to rot your lungs out!"

She considered Pak's next question.
"I guess we could go there. I haven't been yet. There's also a Celtic festival this weekend. At the park, I think. Do you like haggis?"

For no other reason than to continue the banter that both Kiamhaat and Pak seemed to thrive on, she shrugged and added, "Either way there are all kinds of cute guys at Celtic festivals. In kilts."

She gave Kiamhaat a significant glance and raised her eyebrows.
Kem`Raaisu 15 years ago
Kem watched Pak's face as they walked. At least she was discussing the topic of her creator now without looking completely terrified.

[I never really wanted to know,] he responded, having not much advice for Pak but to compare his feelings with hers and see if they ended up anywhere. [I never looked for my sister or my children, but like you say - I still miss them. It doesn't really go away, it just gets more and more distant.]

He shook his head. [At any rate you can't let him win.]

Meanwhile, the discussion not taking place in someone's head had turned to the Celtic festival that weekend, and as Kem assimilated what Aishe had just said, he narrowed his eyes.

"Hell no. Don't even think about it. I don't do Scottish."
Pakpao 15 years ago
Pak made a face.

"I have no desire to regenerate my lungs thank you. But I'm not quitting either."Â?

The idea of a festival made Pak twitchy. That would be crowded with lots of people and she wouldn't be able to keep track of every one like she was here in the garden. It would be much easier to sneak up on her or separate her from Kem and Aishe. She frowned and thought about it for several seconds.

"I guess we could do that. I do like guys in kilts. But only if they have good legs. Nothing worse than a guy with chicken legs wandering around in one."Â?

She gave an exaggerated shudder at that idea and grinned slightly at the play between her friends. She also wondered if Aishe would be able to talk him into a Scottish skirt by the time the weekend rolled around. Probably, if she put her mind to it.

Pak gave Kem a very sympathetic look. It was a shame they both knew how losing your family felt. Maybe that was part of the reason she hated her maker so much.


[I tried once, to look for the children] By which she meant -not- her husband [but our village was small and most of us illiterate the records were terrible and by the time I tried they were non-existent.]

She shifted gears a bit.

[No, you're right I don't want him to. I hate him and I don't want some one like that to dictate to me, not again not any more. Besides, what's the point of being immortal if you don't do anything.]

She kicked a stone and brought them to a pause in front of a fountain.

[Sometimes though I think he did me a favor, how much would I have missed out on if he hadn't... done what he did. But I feel guilty for thinking that too. I mean for god's sake Kem the bastard killed me, destroyed my life, ripped my family and my world apart and some times I think it might have been for the better? It's not right to think like that.]

And Pak was pretty sure it made her a horrible person for finding the positive in the whole experience. What she wouldn't have given for something more like Aishe's experience. But no she harbored both hatred and fear for the man who'd turned her and some times that made her hate herself as well. She'd had a handle on all of this, at least she though she had, until the bastard showed up. She was still scared, but Pak was more and more thinking she'd like to be able to confront the bastard.

"You're buying the haggis right Aishe? Maybe it will be on a stick."Â?
Aishe 15 years ago
There was still a good deal of chatting going on between Kiamhaat and Pak, Aishe realized. That was best. If he had her talking that was a good thing. She could feel his distraction; not that he wasn't paying attention to the outward conversation, but there were emotions and thoughts occurring that no amount of Scottish kilt teasing would have aroused.

They had different jobs though. Aishe assumed that hers was to do what she was doing; keeping things light, fun, and casual while they walked. Kiamhaat got to do the heavy stuff this time. Would it remind him of his own experiences? Probably, she thought, but the two of them had discussed those a lot over the past few years and she thought he might be a lot closer to dealing with his past than Pak apparently was.

She shrugged it off for the moment, turning her mind to her job.


"I don't know. There's something to be said for skinny chicken legs. They can be cute."

At Pak's suggestion she grinned. "Sure, I'll buy. But you have to eat it. It would hurt my feelings if you didn't."

She offered Pak her most convincing sweet-and-innocent expression.
Kem`Raaisu 15 years ago
Kem shook his head at Pak's train of thought. [No, you're fine to think like that,] he insisted. [What's wrong with a little optimism? You don't have to like what was done or the way it was done, but to find the good in it even though you'd prefer it never happened? That's not a bad thing. You can't change the past.]

Boy, what a hypocrite this conversation was making of him. He'd spent way too long dwelling on his own past, yet he expected Pak to get over hers in an eighth of the time? Well, maybe that was being too rough. Pak was doing fine, and even he was learning to take his own advice. And Aishe's. A lot of what he was telling Pak was stuff she had said to him herself. Not only said, but beaten in with a baseball bat. He was actually starting to believe it.

Thinking of Aishe, he turned his soft smile on her and shook his head. She was moving along with the haggis idea, something to keep Pak from getting too morose. How she was able to intuit these things, he would never know. But he loved her all the more for it, and if she had her heart set on seeing him wear a kilt, he'd wear a damn kilt. Hell, he'd dress as a dancing bear and balance on a ball if it made her laugh.

He did wince, though, at the idea that he might actually have to try haggis. So far she hadn't threatened him with it - just Pak. Maybe if he stayed quiet and unobtrusive he'd get off easy. He'd take a kilt over haggis any day.
Pakpao 15 years ago
“Chicken legs should be deep fried and in a bucket and that’s all there is to that.”

She grinned and quipped at Aishe before sighing at Kem. She wanted to believe him, she really did but she was having trouble with the concept. She didn’t dwell on it too long because honestly her family and that guilt was something she’d mostly come to terms with and only a side effect of this fear.

Starting back down one of the paths, Pak was trying to figure out how to say the next bit with out possibly alarming Kem. She wasn’t a vigillantey, not yet any way.


[I guess what the real problem is… well I don’t feel like I can… I’m not ready I have no idea what to do if I meet him again.]

He could have followed her here, he could be back in Silicon Valley he could find her again when she was in Chicago or Paris. The long and the short of it was Pak didn’t know what he wanted, if anything and she didn’t like being vulnerable to him.

“I’ll eat it, but only if it's on a stick and I don’t have to finish it if it turns out to be –really- nasty. Oh and I get to make you a dish from home.”

Something with tentacles if she could arrange it.
Aishe 15 years ago
"We will just have to agree to disagree then," Aishe said with an air of fake diffidence, sticking her nose in the air and giving a derisive little sniff. "Not everyone has perfect legs. Chickens have their place!"

Negotiations were on for the haggis and Aishe dove right into those. "The stick doesn't matter, and you don't get to eat it if it's really nasty, and I'll try your dish from home but I don't have to eat it if it's really nasty either."

Those were her terms and she was sticking to them.
Kem`Raaisu 15 years ago
Kem gave Pak the equivalent of a mental shrug. [So then don't try to figure it out. Why do you have to do anything at all? He exists and you exist and that's all there is to it. You don't have to be friends, and you don't have to be arch nemeses.]

He considered Pak's options for a few minutes. [Do you honestly think he's following you, or looking for you? If he's not, then ignore him. At least until you figure it out yourself. If you pass him, pay no attention to him. Don't give him the satisfaction of letting him know you're rattled.]

He frowned, then. [Of course, if he wants something from you that's another thing entirely, but you don't know that yet.]

Pak might not know it either, until it was too late. That was a problem; one he didn't necessarily know how to solve. Stay with friends, in crowded areas, sure - she was already doing that.

[If worse comes to worst you can always send for one of us.]

Literally. Pak did have the capability to call for help anytime, anywhere. Evenhet's security team was pretty on-top of things. As long as Pak wasn't outside the city limits they could be there very quickly.