Lessons in Self Discovery (Private - attn. Amir)
Upon gathering their things from the rental facility, they changed into their dry clothes and took a much shorter route back to Amir's bike. Dana had wedged the bag containing their swimsuits between herself and Amir as he drove them back to Heolfor.
Dana debated with herself as they drove with determined speed. She wanted very much to have him in her rooms, but what if he moved something, or they made a mess, or so many other things that could put her space out of order.
But then she knew that he would not do such things on purpose. On and on, over and over, with her cheek pressed to his shoulder and her chest molded to his back, she circled herself.
She had decided that she would invite him to her rooms, she needed to let go of this need for everything to be in such perfect order. Just look at her now, she'd not had a brush, so the clip held a twist of very tangled hair. She would need another shower, just to put that to rights. It didn't bother her as much as it could, quite probably because of who she was wrapped around.
When they arrived at the Manor, she said little and tucked herself to Amir's side as they walked into the imposing front foyer. She opened her mouth to invite him to her room, but he took them in the wrong direction before the first word passed her lips.
A soft smile relaxed her face, and she pressed herself more closely to Amir, enjoying the light caress of his hand along her arm.
"It's always on," he said. "There's a little GPS in it; if I travel I can unplug it and it will coordinate to wherever I am at the time."
He'd been living under the night sky for so long, it was natural to see the stars. He loved the sky, the freedom it afforded, the boundless infinity to travel through. Amir didn't normally have trouble sleeping, as a rule, but he did find it easier, more peaceful, when he could see the stars.
The little gadget hadn't come cheap, but Amir had long since ceased to let money trouble him. It was one of the few things in his suite, though, that he had bought for himself. Aside from this and his telescope, most of his items had been gifts.
He smiled into the artificial sky. "It's a constant," he explained to Dana. "The stars all have their place. They move in order, and they change very little." He frowned briefly, but the soft smile was quickly back. "I don't like disorder."
Only slightly surprised at his statement, Dana smiled. "Nor do I."
Lifting her head, Dana pulled the clip once more from her hair, and tucked it into her pocket. As she lay her head back to the bed, she turned placing a soft kiss on Amir's cheek, before nestling her head next to his. "There are so few constants in this world, it is nice to have at least one that can be counted upon."
Reaching across himself as she let her hair down, he took liberties and let his hand dive into the silky locks. Her hair was a hand-magnet, he decided. Whenever she had it loose he was too tempted to stroke it and enjoy its softness.
"It's a constant and at the same time it looks different. I like that. It's good to be up there," he said, gesturing to the faux sky above them. "When I fly, I'm really... free."
He was about to say "myself" but he changed the word at the last moment. It wasn't as if he wasn't himself on any regular day. But maybe he was different when he was flying? Who was he, actually?
"Not that I have issues with freedom," he said with a quick grin. "It's just different up there. I'll take you one of these nights, if you want."
His little jet could seat four, and he had no problems taking Dana along.
Oh, dear. Flying...was not a good thing for Dana and she felt herself involuntarily stiffen as her stomach protested the thought of such a thing. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."
She gave a fluttery laugh, it was awful Amir finding out all the warts underneath the facade of perfection. "I'm glad you have found such a freedom, I find mine in music."
Perhaps he wouldn't ask her why she did not want to fly with him and she could keep that bit of information hidden from him.
"Fair enough," he said. "I hardly think you'll find a musical partner here."
He waited for her to relax again, interested in the fact that she seemed to get very agitated any time she told him something she thought might annoy him or upset him. Amir shrugged philosophically to himself... they all had their differences. He wondered what she'd think of his own insecurities but he didn't fear her censure.
He continued to stroke his fingers through her hair, waiting quietly for her to calm once more. After a few moments he said, "There's freedom in many things if you just look for it. We have many choices in our lives... it's good when freedom and choice coincide. I happened to be interested in flying when it was new, and the Clan had need of someone to learn such new and innovative technology. I was one of several who offered to learn."
"I've never had a musical partner, though I wouldn't mind an audience."
Her eyes closed as he continued to stroke her hair, it had a wondrously calming effect on her and she felt the tense muscles of her shoulders and back begin to relax.
"So, I'm beginning to discover."
She sighed softly, before turning her face to nuzzle gently against Amir's cheek, pressing a kiss to the skin there. "It was good of you to learn such things, my first flight was not what one would call successful, and I've not had much luck since. Not to mention, that being trapped in a metal tube miles off the ground is not something I find fun."
It bothered her to speak of such things, but she felt Amir deserved the truth from her, well most of the truth anyway. She did not want him to think less of her, but thus far he had simply taken her foiables in stride. It was not something she was used to having from anyone, and she was not comfortable with such revelations.
Concentrating a little she forced her body to relax completely, she was safe here with Amir. And she was beginning to believe that he would no judge her, how...well...freeing.
"There are," Her voice went low, as she punctuated her words with small kisses, "a great many things that can be freeing."
Dana was perfectly content with taking their relationship by small steps, now that they knew which way it was going, but that did not mean she had to ignore her impulses or the needs she had. It also meant she could express those things to Amir with out censure. Ah, freedom.
He laughed softly at her attributing selflessness to his list of motivations. Turning slightly to catch her kiss and return it with one of his own, he grinned at her. "I had plenty of ulterior motivation," he said. "As you can see," he gestured to the room around them, "I like the sky. It wasn't a reach to devote myself to a few years of piloting lessons."
Dana's opinion of flying was one that was shared by a reliable enough number of people to make it unsurprising. Amir didn't see it as being trapped though... not when he was at the controls. "I might see it the same, if I weren't the one doing the actual flying," he conceded.
He might have said something else, but she was distracting him with those little tiny kisses. Whatever it was he was about to say stalled out on his tongue and came out as a low sigh. "By all means," he purred up at her silkily, "keep enlightening me."
They way they had laid on the bed, meant that only their faces touched, her body and his making a line down the center of his bed. She kissed him, upside down, pulling his lower lip gently into her mouth.
Dark lashes dropped as he closed his eyes, and he reached his arms up to circle Dana's neck as she played with his lip. In return he nipped gently at hers, shivering slightly as her hair tickled his ears.
He wasn't in much of a position to do a whole lot, but then, Dana seemed to have ideas of her own that Amir was perfectly happy to go along with. He lay there while she explored, not in submission, but rather in acquiescence. He felt energized in addition to being relaxed; he knew he could pounce on her at any moment, turn the tables, take the lead... but he restrained himself and let Dana move as she would, enjoying the novelty of their upside down positions and the newness of her touch.
She smiled down at him, her hair making a slightly tangled curtain around them, filtering the scant light of the star globe down to almost nothing. His eyes glinted in the darkness, such depths they held and she wondered if she would ever know all that was behind him.
Her lips opened to speak, but a yawn forced her mouth open, causing her jaw to make a popping sound. Her hand flew up to cover the offense as her cheeks flushed a bright scarlet. She did not feel tired, but her body and brain were obviously not communicating well at the moment, and one of them was rather exhausted.
"Oh, pardon me." She finally managed as the yawn released her. Pushing back she sat up, resting her weight on her feet. She wondered at the time, and as she was not wearing a watch, she glanced around the room for a clock.
"It's nearly four," he said, watching her glance around the room and taking a guess at the most logical thing to be looking for. Smiling softly he said, "I did warn you I might monopolize you all night."
He was glad nothing had gotten out of hand, and they were spared the awkwardness of having to back away from something they weren't entirely ready for yet. He had worried, still, that maybe Dana would want things to progress much faster, having made her intentions clear, but once again he was reassured.
"However, the night will be over within the hour, and so I suppose it must be nearing time for you to escape."
It had been an enjoyable night. New relationships were always entertaining and Dana's company was quickly growing on him. He waited for her to confirm or deny his take on the situation; either way, though, it was time to end the physical part of things before they reached the point of no return.
It was not her favorite end to this evening, but reasoning and logic usually had little place in matters of the heart. She knew they must not tip the balance they had created, and as this was new to her she wanted to enjoy each step of this process. Her hormones spoke otherwise. It was not fair, being over nine centuries old and still ruled by hormones.
Turning onto her bottom, Dana slid to the end of the bed. Her feet slipped easily into the boots, and she looked back over her shoulder at him.
"Would you do me honor of escorting me to my room, Amir?" It was a silly thing to do, become so formal with him, and Dana had a difficult time keeping the pleasant smile from becoming laughter.
"If I must," he responded, finally rolling over and sitting up in a fluid motion, searching for his own shoes.
As they made their way to the door, Amir opened it for her and gestured her through before closing it once more, giving her an elaborate courtly bow with far more flourish than was necessary, and finally offering her his arm.
She returned his bow with a deep skirt-less curtsy, before taking his arm.
"I am most grateful, sir. One never knows what ruffians await around the corner. A girl can't be too careful these days."
They started off on their way, and the walk was filled with more fake formality and laughter. Dana was surprised that they did not disturb the entire household on their walk to her room. Careful to keep track of their route once more, she did not want to have to ask directions to Amir's suite the next time she visited.
It was on another burst of laughter that they arrived at Dana's door. "Please come in, there's something I wish to give you before you go."
Not looking up at Amir, she pulled her key from her pocket and put it in the door's lock. She was suddenly nervous for him to see her home, why she should be she did not know, but it was there just the same.
Dana's laughter was infectious, and although her offer caught him off guard, he nodded. While not normally much of a joker, there was the beginning of a shared joke between them and her good mood had rubbed off on him. So he arched his brows speculatively and asked, perfectly straight-faced, "Is it in the bedroom?"
She waited until Amir was inside before shutting the door. "Let me get a light, hold on a moment."
The room was pitch black, having no outside doors or windows, and Dana did not believe in night lights or leaving a light on. So she crossed quickly to the lamp beside her bed and flicked it to the lowest of its three settings.
It flooded the area next to the bed with a soft golden light, leaving most of the room dark, enough light to navigate by if unfamiliar to the space, but not enough to intrude on the darkness. To do that, one must turn on more lights. Dana, walked around behind the bed and flicked on a tiny lamp that stood on the dresser. It gave even less light than the first lamp, but it threw up a rainbow across the mirror attached to the top of the dresser.
She stood beside the dresser waiting for Amir to join her or explore as she had done in his rooms, which ever suited him. "There are more lamps scattered about if you wish more light."
He looked around a bit as he entered her room, closing the door softly behind him, but he didn't take liberties. Instead he crossed to where Dana stood by the dresser, his dark eyes attracted to the rainbow that lightly touched the mirror.
"The darkness suits me just fine," he said, declining her offer. His own rooms, as she'd seen, were quite dark and he liked it that way. He doubted she'd be surprised.
Her room seemed to suit her. From his first impression, he'd have guessed the owner was both female, and quite erudite. It seemed like the room of a scholar, set up for reading and music and, he thought, noting her telescope, scientific pursuits.
Pulling it out, she turned and held it up. "If I give you this you must promise me two things."
She gave the case a little jiggle. "You must be forgiving of mistakes and not share it with anyone."
She smiled softly at him. "It is a recording of my own compositions on several different instruments, with introductions and explanations of the pieces. I think I sound very odd on tape, so I've only listened once or twice. I also have it with out my speaking, but I thought you might enjoy this more, the knowing where they come from."
Her cheeks flushed lightly, he would be only the second person she has shared this most private part of her music with. The first had been the recording studio attendant, not even Lady Erin had a copy of her music. It was deeply confusing and wonderful and terrifying and thrilling all at once to offer the thin emerald case to Amir. So much so that her fingers trembled lightly, and her heartbeat sped up just a little.
Dana had said music was her freedom, her passion, her method of expression. So it seemed to him that if he was to learn about it, this Dana-language, how better to begin than with her own creation and her own explanation?
The importance of the offer was evident in her voice and, as he looked at it, the tremor of her outheld hand. Without taking the case from her he placed his hand on hers as if to still it, leaned down, and kissed her gently not on the lips but on her forehead. Brushing the fingertips of his free hand against her cheek he said, "I'm honored. And you have my promise on both counts."
Straightening, his mouth quirked up into a wry little twist and he added, "Though to be truthful, I have heard some musicians claim there is no such thing as a mistake - merely 'artistic license.'"
It was a moot point to tell her he probably wouldn't be able to tell a mistake from a hole in the wall where music was concerned. Sure, he could hear pitches and carry a tune well enough, and he'd recognize it if someone played, oh, say, the 1812 Overature off-key, but her own compositions? He'd probably have assumed anything atonal was intentional, if she hadn't just said there were mistakes.
Still, it was the gesture that spoke volumes and since it was important to Dana, it would be important to him. Amir's friends weren't so numerous that he would treat anything of theirs lightly, so he accepted the CD with a smile, two promises, and an internal vow to buy Music Appreciation for Dummies at the earliest convenience.
"They are all liars. We all make mistakes, but sometimes the mistakes help in the playing"
She sighed softly, now that her grand gesture was complete, and she had shared with him as much as he had with her, she had no idea what to do next. She felt the fatigue of the coming dawn pull on her lightly, but it was not enough to simply turn him out. She also did not want any part of her time with Amir to be awkward.
It was with that in mind that she slipped her hand into his free one and lifted up on tip toe to press her lips lightly to his.