He didn't smile, Bao knew Pakpao wouldn't appreciate that, she'd misunderstand. Still he was pleased to have taken her off guard.
They regarded each other across the board for a long minute, neither saying anything. He could only guess what was going through her head. Those pictures were proof that he had taken the children in, had cared for them.
Finally, he broke the silence.
"She does look a great deal like you, other than the eyes. Your son though, Kalhan, now that we are getting to know each other, he was a great deal like you for all he looked like your husband."Â?
At long last her reserve seemed to be breaking. Just a little. Bao swore he saw her eyes started to water. He did smile then, Pakpao didn't even acknowledge she was that deeply affected. She just stared at the picture.
An old, forgotten emotion stirred deep in his chest. He was pleased, happy, but something else, something he couldn't put his finger on. Bao didn't dwell on it.
He did, however, move to sit beside her rather than across from her.
Not a Good Pawn
The clove bothered him, she knew it did, but that was part of the reason Pak refused to put it out. If he'd been smacking her around, as she called it, well that would be one thing but here in the bar of the Piazza at two in the morning, well he could just deal with it.
Pak's head was bent intently over the chess board. She was a better player than he'd been expected. He hadn't said that but she could read her opponent, who ever it was, well enough to take advantage of weakness like that. He wasn't bad though.
Trying to force his queen out she moved her knight and placed the queen in danger. He'd have to move the queen or take the knight and taking the knight would leave his king open for a quick kill.
"So, when are you going to tell me what you want with me?"Â?
She sipped at the drink she'd been nursing since they sat down. Pak also continued to survey the board, planning her attack, but keeping an eye on defense.
Bao
14 years ago
Pakpao
14 years ago
Tears started to form and while Pak made an effort to control them she didn't hide them or brush them away. Tentatively she touched the shaded picture. Memories assaulted her, being pregnant, holding them for the first time, first step, first word, their laughs and games. So many things she had locked away for so long, she could drown in them if she let herself.
It took a remarkable effort, but she tore her eyes away from the photo and locked eyes with her maker. This man who had put her through hell, who'd destroyed her life, he'd taken care of that which was most precious to her. She couldn't reconcile the two. How could he be such a monster and still care for her children? It didn't make sense.
"Tell me about them. What happened to them? Were they happy?"Â?
Pak couldn't take it any more she did start to cry, tears trickled down her cheeks. She didn't sob or make a scene. She tried twice to brush the tears away, to hide them, failed and gave up. Silently taking the napkin Bao offered her.
"Did they remember me? Miss me?"Â?
It took a remarkable effort, but she tore her eyes away from the photo and locked eyes with her maker. This man who had put her through hell, who'd destroyed her life, he'd taken care of that which was most precious to her. She couldn't reconcile the two. How could he be such a monster and still care for her children? It didn't make sense.
"Tell me about them. What happened to them? Were they happy?"Â?
Pak couldn't take it any more she did start to cry, tears trickled down her cheeks. She didn't sob or make a scene. She tried twice to brush the tears away, to hide them, failed and gave up. Silently taking the napkin Bao offered her.
"Did they remember me? Miss me?"Â?
Bao
14 years ago
For the first time Bao actually considered regretting what he'd done. She really didn't deserve to have been torn from her life and abandon. Her silent tears touched him in a way Bao hadn't realized he was capable of. Hesitantly he smoothed Pakpao's hair back from her temple as he had her daughter when Lawan was distressed.
"They both were happy. And they remembered both you and your husband and they did miss you. I wish I had known more about you to share with them."Â?
When Pakpao didn't pull away from the touch Bao gained confidence and began his story. He told her as much as he could remember of the children. That her son had been an excellent scholar and had a prosperous career. That her daughter had a wicked sense of humor but between her charm and wit and a few favors he'd bought he'd arranged a marriage for her with a noble family. That both of them had had children of their own.
"I'm afraid I lost track of them about then. They were settled and didn't need me any more. The last time I saw them your daughter had just had twins, a boy and a girl, both had your eyes."Â?
By the time he'd finished she was crying even harder. He'd had the bartender bring over a box of tissues for her, and it was a good thing she'd gone through a number of them. Bao gently rubbed Pakpao's shoulders and was surprised to find it wasn't a calculated gesture, he wasn't trying to simulate the correct response, he genuinely wanted to comfort her.
"They both were happy. And they remembered both you and your husband and they did miss you. I wish I had known more about you to share with them."Â?
When Pakpao didn't pull away from the touch Bao gained confidence and began his story. He told her as much as he could remember of the children. That her son had been an excellent scholar and had a prosperous career. That her daughter had a wicked sense of humor but between her charm and wit and a few favors he'd bought he'd arranged a marriage for her with a noble family. That both of them had had children of their own.
"I'm afraid I lost track of them about then. They were settled and didn't need me any more. The last time I saw them your daughter had just had twins, a boy and a girl, both had your eyes."Â?
By the time he'd finished she was crying even harder. He'd had the bartender bring over a box of tissues for her, and it was a good thing she'd gone through a number of them. Bao gently rubbed Pakpao's shoulders and was surprised to find it wasn't a calculated gesture, he wasn't trying to simulate the correct response, he genuinely wanted to comfort her.
Pakpao
14 years ago
Anger, grief and joy all warred within Pak. Anger that she hadn't been there, that she couldn't have been there. Grief that she'd lost her children, that she'd never experienced and of this, that she'd never met her grandchildren. And joy, joy that they'd had a better life, they'd grown, they'd been happy.
It was complicated and confusing and Pak wasn't sure she'd ever sort out exactly how she felt about this. That he'd had her children when she couldn't. Ultimately though, this was about what was good for them and anything was better than their having died, been killed, or left abandon to the mercy of the other villagers.
She accepted his touch, his comfort. Monster or not he'd comforted them too and for a few seconds Pak felt close to her children again.
Trying, with some success to get her tears under control Pak wiped her face with the tissue again and went back to clutching the photographs.
"May I keep this?"Â?
She wasn't sure he'd letter but Bao nodded affirmatively and she smiled at him.
"Thank you. I still hate you for what you did to me. For taking them away from me. But thank you for not leaving them."Â?
It hurt, just a little to say that, but she meant every word. Except maybe the hate, she'd never be able to totally forgive him, but it was the first step in in loathing him. Hell she might even, eventually, like him.
It was complicated and confusing and Pak wasn't sure she'd ever sort out exactly how she felt about this. That he'd had her children when she couldn't. Ultimately though, this was about what was good for them and anything was better than their having died, been killed, or left abandon to the mercy of the other villagers.
She accepted his touch, his comfort. Monster or not he'd comforted them too and for a few seconds Pak felt close to her children again.
Trying, with some success to get her tears under control Pak wiped her face with the tissue again and went back to clutching the photographs.
"May I keep this?"Â?
She wasn't sure he'd letter but Bao nodded affirmatively and she smiled at him.
"Thank you. I still hate you for what you did to me. For taking them away from me. But thank you for not leaving them."Â?
It hurt, just a little to say that, but she meant every word. Except maybe the hate, she'd never be able to totally forgive him, but it was the first step in in loathing him. Hell she might even, eventually, like him.
Bao
14 years ago
That was enough for Bao, that was progress. Maybe he should have shared this with her weeks ago. However, maybe not, maybe she wasn't ready.
Regardless, he could see she was trying to gain some kind of control of both herself and the situation. Bao decided not to push for more. She'd allowed herself to be vulnerable for the first time in their relationship, it really was more than he'd expected.
Not leaving her side, but with a final gentle squeeze on her shoulder he shifted back to the mundane.
"Whose move is it?"Â?
Regardless, he could see she was trying to gain some kind of control of both herself and the situation. Bao decided not to push for more. She'd allowed herself to be vulnerable for the first time in their relationship, it really was more than he'd expected.
Not leaving her side, but with a final gentle squeeze on her shoulder he shifted back to the mundane.
"Whose move is it?"Â?
Pakpao
14 years ago
Move? Pak looked back to the board, perplexed. She'd totally forgotten the game. She had been winning, but all of a sudden, it didn't matter, at the very least, it was different.
"I don't remember. Perhaps we should start another game."Â?
She meant that and perhaps they should start the game, their relationship over. Perhaps she should start to judge him for the present rather than the past.
However, not now, not tonight, not with this new knowledge fresh in her head. As it was, she could only take her eyes from the picture for a few seconds at a time and her thoughts didn't leave her children at all.
"I think I'm going to go home now. I'll have to take a rain check for this."Â?
She waved at the board, and without being asked Bao started to silently pack the game way.
"I don't remember. Perhaps we should start another game."Â?
She meant that and perhaps they should start the game, their relationship over. Perhaps she should start to judge him for the present rather than the past.
However, not now, not tonight, not with this new knowledge fresh in her head. As it was, she could only take her eyes from the picture for a few seconds at a time and her thoughts didn't leave her children at all.
"I think I'm going to go home now. I'll have to take a rain check for this."Â?
She waved at the board, and without being asked Bao started to silently pack the game way.
Bao
14 years ago
Her attention was clearly elsewhere. Bao didn't mind putting the game off. Pakpao had as good as promised they would continue their relationship. Odd that giving her the information she so desperately wanted strengthen their tentative bond rather than shattered it. Perhaps Mara would understand better.
His daughter, however, continued to be distracted. While he appreciated her desire to be home, he couldn't trust her to get there on her own, it would be dangerous.
"Let me drive you home."Â?
After several seconds she finally answered.
"No, I'll be fine."Â?
"You're too distracted. I'll drive you home."Â?
The argument went back and forth with no hostility for several minutes but Pakpao finally agreed. The drive was made mostly in silence, each quite wrapped up in their thoughts. Although Bao did suggest, more than once, and very strongly that she speak to some one, himself a friend, someone soon. He didn't want her getting trapped in the past or to start to become regretful that she'd missed out on her children's lives. She only nodded.
Arriving at the towers Pakpao slid from his car, photo and chess board both in hand. She actually smiled at him, a genuine smile with no mocking, no sarcasm, nothing like that behind it. It was a first.
Once he was satisfied she was inside her clans strong hold safely Bao started back to the Manor. He was going to have to tell Amir he'd not be trying to sway her any further, he only hoped his maker would under stand.
((OOC... both out))
His daughter, however, continued to be distracted. While he appreciated her desire to be home, he couldn't trust her to get there on her own, it would be dangerous.
"Let me drive you home."Â?
After several seconds she finally answered.
"No, I'll be fine."Â?
"You're too distracted. I'll drive you home."Â?
The argument went back and forth with no hostility for several minutes but Pakpao finally agreed. The drive was made mostly in silence, each quite wrapped up in their thoughts. Although Bao did suggest, more than once, and very strongly that she speak to some one, himself a friend, someone soon. He didn't want her getting trapped in the past or to start to become regretful that she'd missed out on her children's lives. She only nodded.
Arriving at the towers Pakpao slid from his car, photo and chess board both in hand. She actually smiled at him, a genuine smile with no mocking, no sarcasm, nothing like that behind it. It was a first.
Once he was satisfied she was inside her clans strong hold safely Bao started back to the Manor. He was going to have to tell Amir he'd not be trying to sway her any further, he only hoped his maker would under stand.
((OOC... both out))