Redecorating for Dummies

Mara simply shook her head. "No, it isn't that," she said. In spite of the fact that she referred to the vampires Amir created as his 'children,' it was simply for lack of a better term. She had never viewed him as a father but then, she already had a father. Amir was a protector and teacher and friend and possibly more, but never had he really been a parent to her, nor to Bao or any of his other offspring. She smiled at the idea that in another time and place Pak might have been interested. She liked Pak much better than she liked Dana.

"Oh of course," she said immediately in response to Pak's next question. Fond didn't even begin to cover it.

"I love him more than anything," she said frankly. "Well, he's tied of course. With my father."

The way she used the words left no doubt as to the nature of her love. Not that of a daughter, but that of someone remembering a heated kiss behind the wall of a smoky jazz club.

"It's just... complicated," she said with a sad smile at Pak as she mimicked the younger vampire's earlier response.

She nodded hopefully at the idea that there would be a right time for everything. "Imagine though," she said, "My father's response if he learns that not only am I alive but so is his own creator. And that that man turned me. And imagine his response when he learns I belong to Anantya, never to Evenhet, and I love the man he hates with all of my heart."

She shrugged her shoulders, the sad smile still there. "It might be a while."

"See now that -does- sound incestuous. Sort of, funny uncle."Â?

Pak was clearly teasing Mara.

Huh, she hadn't been expecting to get that reaction. Pak really had thought Mara was more of a favorite daughter or nice. Of course, just because she felt that way didn't mean he did.

Complicated did not begin to cover this.

With the kitten still sleeping in her lap Pak had tangible evidence that Mara was a friend. So, as she would for any friend, Pak fretted a bit. She sighed trying to find a way to make this work.

"No, I can't imagine Kem is going to be a happy camper. Maybe if you could find a way to break things to him one at a time rather than all in one big lump. It might give him time to process them."Â?

Or it could be one blow after the other and he'd never recover from it. Pak decided that wasn't her best idea ever and let it go.

"What if you weren't in the middle though? What if it was just you and Amir?"Â?

Mara was taken aback when Pak seemed concerned for her, and interested in her situation. She never made friends easily, or quickly. Yet here she was, wearing Pak's oversized t-shirt, sitting on her chair in hr apartment, at Liefde of all places, where she shouldn't be, and they were just... talking. There was no agenda, no complicated plan, no goal really. Mara was simply talking to Pak and Pak was talking back.

"I'm not sure I understand," she said slowly. "What do you mean if it was just us?"

She tried to interpret the question properly. "It's always been us," she explained. "Amir has always taken care of me."

Is that what Pak had meant? Did she mean, if Kiamhaat weren't involved? But he was only just now involved, now that they were all together in Nachton. Amir had always been willing to live and let live so long as he and Kiamhaat hadn't been forced together by circumstance. Their close proximity now had set off sparks that currently only Amir was aware of.

Pak smiled and shook her head. For all Mara was considerably older than she was, there was a naïve quality to that answer; something sweet, yet oblivious. They'd both had hard lives and been forced to deal with a certain amount of abuse, but of different kinds and apparently with different results.

While she had a stack of issues regarding relationships, romance and sex where she was involved, it was easier to see and address those issues in others. Far too many times she'd been a shoulder to cry on about a wife or lover before being used.

"I mean if Amir and his work and Kem and all the other distractions weren't here, that they didn't matter, they had no consequences, is that all you'd want? For him to take care of you?"Â?

Maybe she'd imagined it. It was possible Pak was -way- off base here. But it seemed to her that Mara had some less platonic feelings for Amir. Of course, maybe it was none of her business too. That was possible as well.

"Ah." Mara understood what Pak was asking; she hadn't understood Mara's previous words about the nature of her feelings for Amir.

"I take care of him, he takes care of me," she explained. "We've been friends, companions, for so very long. Normally Amir creates strong vampires, teaches them what they need to know, and lets them experience what they need to in order to grow and be independent."

She shrugged again. "Me, he kept close. I didn't want to leave. You understand, Pak, you must, what life was like for us after my father was gone. I was used by everyone. My husband, my aunt's husband, my own brother. I had no rights. My body wasn't even my own. I was terrified. I expected Amir to kill me, but he didn't kill me. He set me free."

Mara smiled. "I have loved him forever. Not as a father, Pak. I have a father and I've always known where he was, what he was doing. I love Amir for everything he gave me. I'll never leave him."

She sighed. "There's a lot about us you don't know," she said, unable to really explain her theories when Pak didn't and shouldn't know the entire story. "He isn't himself. He's gotten lost in his work and it's not his fault; someone else pulls his strings."

She spread her hands. "Would I want him to take care of me? Perhaps, if I could take care of him in return. But he takes care of me even with his work, no matter what happens in our lives. He's always been there. And he's always had time for me. I want what's best for him though. I want him freed from duty, and I may have an idea how to accomplish that."

Mara still hadn't quite answered the question. Perhaps she hadn't explained it clearly. But it didn't seem right to probe further. Either Mara had understood and hadn't answered clearly or she had understood and was avoiding.

Instead, Pak just smiled, a very old smile. She understood more than Mara might think she did. Their experiences weren't that different, perhaps a bit flipped about but fairly similar.

Pak heard the phrases 'lost in his work' and 'pulls his strings' and raised an eyebrow. There was a much bigger story here. It was awkward though, she couldn't really offer to help and couldn't ask for more information.

A small smile flitted across Pak's lips as she finally understood what Mara was saying, even if Mara didn't.

"You love him. And don't say 'of course' or anything like that, just let me be right."Â?

Mara was a plotter. Pak had figured out pretty quickly that the Anantya set wheels in motions. Perhaps not directly, from a distance, but she got things started or got the information back to those that would. It sounded like she was going to share this time.

"This sounds like more than helping him avoid the draft. Shall I get my white board so we can brain storm?"Â?

Mara thought she'd said those words and more. Of course she loved Amir. She'd loved him from the moment she'd woken up in a newly healed, unbroken body to find him cradling her gently, smelling of desert sand, incense, and jackal. She'd loved him from the instant he'd bent close and brushed her hair from her face, his dark eyes concerned, and asked her how she felt.

Mara could never love anyone else that way. No one else had ever taken care to heal the holes left in her soul from endless nights of rape and abuse. no one else had given her decades, centuries, to find her balance and figure out how to live again.

Pak asked her not to say 'of course,' so Mara didn't say it out loud although she found it obvious. Instead she nodded her head and acceded to Pak's statement.

"Yes. I love him," she said, and left it at that.

Mara hadn't intended to reveal any of her ideas to Pak. She normally plotted alone, or on rare occasion, with Amir or Shades. What she had in mind now went against all of her ideals and all of her desires. It went against everything she'd worked for so far and everything she had asked Pak to help her with. It was a huge gamble and it put lives at risk, but if it worked... if it worked, things might just get better.

Was Pak a friend, then? Could she trust her to help in this endeavor? Mara always crafted her plans so carefully, manipulating and developing as she went, altering and reconstructing as necessary. Was Pak capable of viewing things as Mara did, seeing every situation as a fork in a road of twenty different directions?

"You might not like what it entails," she said slowly. Then she nodded once to herself. "All right."

If she was going to trust, she had to trust completely. Pak was young, but thus far their relationship had been based entirely on trust and neither on of them had betrayed the other. Sure, Pak was learning to look to Bao for answers but perhaps the younger vampire wanted someone else in her life as well. Mara could teach Pak as well as Bao, and her lessons would be new for they viewed the world differently.

Softly, Mara began to speak. It became easier to tell the story with every word, but it was imperative Pak understand the history and the reasons for what they were going to do.

Pak only mentally rolled her eyes at Mara. There was love, like she loved Kem and then there was love like she had for her children and then there was love like she'd had back in Paris. Pak, however, decided not to push the issue, either Mara didn't want to talk about it or the time wasn't right and she chose to respect that.

Pak didn't plot or scheme, not like Mara did. She tended to be very straightforward about things, every thing but her own feelings that was. However, she was fully capable of mapping out every little detail of a complex program, hell she'd taught MARI how to make decision. She was also more than slightly adept at the chessboard. Listening intently to Mara, Pak decided this wasn't much different and that she should have been a spy. It was much more dramatic and infinitely cooler than being a computer/chess geek. Having immortality on her side, Pak filed that idea away for a possible career change down the road.

She hissed under her breath in Siamese as several points. Command was a twisted thing. It shouldn't be allowed.

Finally she sighed and shook her head.

"This could get sticky you know. Technically it is Anantya's issue and if I get too involved it won't be good or easy to explain."Â?

Not to mention the possibility of dragging Kem in too, which would put him face to face with both Amir and Mara most likely. Even if it hadn't involved Amir and Mara Pak wouldn't drag Kem and Evenhet into Anantya business, she looked out for her family as best she could.

"Don't get me wrong if you have a way for me to help I will, but I'm going to have to weight the risks when I can."Â?

If it were a snap decision, something that handled right then, Pak would handle it and work on damage control after.

Mara disagreed with Pak; it was already sticky. Having all of these people together in one city made it sticky. It could hardly get stickier, could it?

"Of course," she said to Pak, not having really expected her to jump on board the wagon immediately. Pak had her own set of loyalties. Everyone did. But by Mara's estimation Pak was hardly likely to turn on Mara at this point.

"I don't think you will have to do anything at all. At least not now. Just keep your eyes open like you've been doing. The more people watching, the better my information will be."

And that was the important part to Mara. She needed to know everything about everything in order to make informed decisions.

She smiled at Pak, the expression somewhat tight. "I'll manage this somehow. It might not reach a perfect resolution but if everyone comes out of it all right I'll consider it successful."

Pak snarled something very rude in her native language and suddenly jerked herself into another position, waking the kitten who hoped lithely off her lap and padded a few cushions down on the sofa before giving her a reproachful look. Once Pak had resettled, he returned to curl up against her hip.

"I'm in. Don't for one second think I'm not willing what ever it takes to protect you and Kem and... well even Amir."Â?

She said with some force. Once Pak gave her loyalty, it was whole hearted. The trick was, and Mara had to understand it, her loyalty was all over the place at this point.

"I'm careful I'm not a coward."Â?

Pak felt a sudden swelling of sympathy for Mara. She was so small, she'd been through so much and she was trying to manage something this big.

"You don't have to manage it alone. I can help. Even if all I can do is give you a place to hide out for a while to think or if you just need some one to talk to."Â?

'Moral Support R Us' seemed to be Pak's middle name. She wasn't exactly front line material but anything she had to do to keep every one on her list sane and alive was her forte and Mara had just officially landed on her that list.

Mara held her hand up at Pak to stop her from making promises she may not want to keep.

"Careful," she warned, not unkindly. "Don't compromise yourself. Although I appreciate the sentiment."

She smiled, still surprised by Pak's enthusiasm. Mara hadn't really considered Pak a friend but perhaps she was beginning to. It was easy to see what her father saw in Pak, and what Amir saw in her too.

"I don't think anyone who knows you would consider you a coward, senet," she said, surprising even herself with the ancient endearment. "You're a good friend," she added, the word a little stiff from her tongue but none the less heartfelt.

"I don't often require moral support, but perhaps I might come by sometime anyway... just... to talk? As you said."

Mara couldn't deny that she actually enjoyed sitting here chatting with Pak. She shouldn't be here, but maybe in time they would meet someplace a little safer. In the meantime she knew Pak wasn't going to give her away. As long as she stayed right here in this room of Pak's apartment and didn't wander, Mara was relatively safe. She had no intention of wandering. The Evenhet were not to be trifled with.

"Well find a way to make it work. I think. I hope."Â?

Pak shrugged absently and settled back down. At least she was certain Mara took her seriously at this point.

Delivered stiffly or not Pak couldn't help but grin at that one word. It was hard not to feel a little safe, reassured, but that term. Only Kem called her senet.

The idea that Mara would stop by just to talk was met with enthusiasm. Pak enjoyed Mara's company, it was nice to have another friend.

"Yes. I think you should. There is no reason you shouldn't come and make sure Mongkut is doing well if nothing else."Â?

She impulsively named her gift after Siam's most famous King. It seemed to fit, even as a kitten and even mostly sleeping he seemed to be a bit on the regal side.

Mara allowed herself the distraction of Pak's spontaneous name. She chuckled softly.

"He would have been amused," she said. "We were there, you know, at Wakor."

She named the village in which the famous King had met his demise. An avid astronomer, Mongkut had invited a group of scientists to view a total solar eclipse. While there he had contracted malaria and died several weeks later.

"We didn't get to view the eclipse, much to Amir's frustration," Mara said with a mischievous smile, "but we starwatched afterwards, at night."

"I left, just about the time he took the throne... right in there. He was an impressive man."Â?

That was something of a surprise, that they would have been there. Pak couldn't help but wonder, as she had often enough before, how many people she'd crossed paths with over the years. They'd never know.

She did laugh at the idea of Mara and Amir missing out on the eclipse. The solar kind were something that were lost to their kind. Pak usually arranged to have them video or to find a live feed. Thank god for technology.

"I wish I could have been there. But... I don't think I would have been invited."Â?

Pak grinned at the thought of a self-educated prostitute being invited to watch an eclipse with the nobility and intellectuals.

"He was a good man," Mara said. "You should ask Amir about him sometime. I was hidden most of the time we were there but Amir actually spoke with him on several occasions. He came to watch the stars with us that night, before he got sick."

She gave Pak a small nod when he other woman mentioned she wouldn't have been invited. Pak hadn't spoken of her past much, but from what Mara knew from both Pak and Bao, Pak hadn't had an easy time of it once she had been turned. Mara had spent enough time in Asia to know that as a farmer's wife with little if any education, Pak's options would have been limited.

"I wasn't invited at all. Amir was, but only because he's very good at politics when he wants to be."

That, and he had been clever at the right time in the hearing of the right people... but then, that was politics after all.

Pak seemed interested and Mara never had to be encouraged to talk about Amir, so she continued the story, forgetting where she was, whose clothes she was wearing, and why she'd really been there. It was a new thing for Mara and, by appearances, for Pak too. They ended up talking far into the night, playing with Mongkut, and when Mara left before dawn it was with surprising regret.

((ooc: Pak and Mara out))