It's For You! (Attn: Guillaume)
The phone rang several times before Britney heard the pickup. Affecting her most professional yet perky voice she jumped right into her spiel before anyone could stop her. She found she made way more sales that way.
"Good afternoon sir or ma'am, have you heard about our great new offer for Luminous Pebbles? They're the latest innovation in horticultural technology, guaranteed to keep your garden safe while enhancing its appearance!"
She barely paused for breath. "They're little landscaping pebbles that absorb sunlight so that when the sun goes down they emit a very gentle glow in several different colours. They're on sale now, at a reduced rate. Our offer only lasts for the next twenty four hours though. You're not going to want to miss out on this."
There hadn't been an answer yet but Britney continued... because she hadn't been hung up on either. "For the low price of only $19.99 you can own a piece of this amazing technology, which will absolutely make your garden or walkway or any outdoor area the talk of your neighborhood! So how many boxes can I put you down for? They come in green, blue, orange, and pink."
Or ma'am? He hated that. He really did you'd think they could take just one little breath and work out male or female. But at the same time, he was a little hooked. He didn't think it sounded 'amazing' it sounded like cut up glow sticks. But it did sound sort of... fascinating. And if the sale was only for twenty four hours.
But he tried to exercise some self control.
"This number should be on the do not call list."
Although maybe they could work the glowing into the bar some how. It might go with something. Some where.
"I don't have a garden."
He paused trying very hard not to think about this.
"How big are the pebbles? How many in a box?"
This was not happening. It wasn't. He was -not- going to buy. He just wanted to know exactly what he wasn't going to buy.
To brighten her day even more the man on the other end of the line asked questions, interested questions not strange or lewd ones, even if he did sound a little short. One guy yesterday asked her what she was wearing; as if she hadn't heard that a thousand times before.
Britney made no comment about the 'no call' list. She had a number on her display screen and that was what she called. She was not in charge of how it got there. Sometimes there was security in being the low person on the responsibility pole.
"Well, Sir," Britney fairly beamed into the phone. "They have many other uses than just for a garden. I, myself, used them to line the path along my grandmother's walkway to help her see her way to the door at night." Or she would if she had an aging grandmother, Britney was sure of it but, sadly, she was orphan who grew up in foster care. Troubled child, hard to place...and all that.
"There are one hundred pebbles in each box. I used...oh" Britney considered the dimly lit walk to her own little apartment door then quickly estimated how many boxes of the neon rocks she'd need to brighten the place up. She would never use them there; someone would steal them in less than an hour where she lived. " twelve boxes to cover the ground nicely. You might need more for a longer drive or less, if you have something else in mind. They look nice in potted plants, centerpieces, those clear bricks people build dividers out of...We sell those too. Oh, " She smiled into the phone. " We have these futuristic rocket shaped lamps that have a clear center tube so that you can put whatever you want in them... they would look nice in those. At least I think so." Britney waited hopefully, her eyes shut and her fingers crossed right next to her keyboard.
One hundred wasn't very many. Guillaume frowned and tried to visualize them and their uses. They'd probably look good in the bar. No doubt Evan could find a use for them. Or if push came to shove he could find a use for them. Maybe... there had to be something they could do with them.
"You say they absorb sunlight? Do they work indoors? If they don't have a lot of natural light?"
Or indeed, no natural light. Vampires, made everything difficult. He really rather wanted them but he didn't like buying things that weren't going to work.
But maybe she would tell him they had to have natural light then he could justify not buying them. Or maybe he wouldn't be able to find his credit card.
"They need natural light, but they'll work indoors," she said. "If you place them by a window or a door during the day, they'll absorb enough light to shine at night."
She smiled into the phone as she spoke, trying to be friendly although really she could use the money she'd make from a sale.
"It might not be the most convenient solution ever, but it's not hard. I mean, unless you live in a cave or something right? Who doesn't have a good source of natural light in their home?"
Britney laughed at the notion of cave dwellers lining their walkways with solar powered pebbles. Maybe he didn't find it amusing... she thought it was halfway clever though.
"So how many boxes do you think you need? I can have them shipped tomorrow, free of charge if you buy ten boxes or more. That plus the sale, it's a steal."
He snapped back to the situation at hand and trying to convince himself -not- to buy.
"Actually there isn't a lot of natural light here Ms.... I'm sorry I didn't get your name..."
Oh crap. That was a mistake. This always got harder when he got any kind of personal information about the telemarketer he almost always caved.
Free shipping? They -always- screwed you over on the shipping. Navid was positive of that. That was why on TV they could afford to sell you two or three or fifteen for the price of one, because you had to pay separate shipping on each.
"How much coverage did you say you got from each box?
He was hooked now there was no getting away from it now he was going to be the proud owner of glowing rocks.
Guillaume sighed and muttered something very rude under his breath half in French and half in Arabic.
"If I get free shipping for ten or more do I get a discount for say... fifteen or twenty or more on top of the free shipping?"
After all if they put them in the bar people would probably pick them up and take one or two just for shits and giggles. Drunken geeks and gamers did odd things.
"Britney Summers, just call me Britney. I'm sorry to hear that...about the natural light."
She waited, having run out of things to say. Her boss would have told her to go back over all the wonderful benefits of the product again but Britney felt that sometimes less was more. If you never listened then it was hard to answer questions or make convincing arguments for the purchase of the wonderful product of the week.
Spreading out her hand over the little pebbles on her desk, Britney looked them over. "A square foot and a half if you lay them flat but still want the area covered." She always had the product with her at her desk so that she could become familiar with it. It helped her to think of better ways to use it. Unless the product was a tent or an inflatable raft or something and then Britney always clipped a picture of it on her monitor. She liked the little stones. They were one of her favorite products. Britney held one up to her desk lamp while she talked.
"Oh, yes, absolutely." She smiled into the phone. "Its 10.99 per box if you order 30 or more. So half off really on top of the free shipping. You just can't beat that. Its cheap and convenient. So much better than shopping in a crowded mall and lugging everything home." Did anyone really go to a shopping mall anymore? Anyone over the age of 16 anyway?
Britney tossed the glowing stone into the air and caught it again.
"So how many would you like?"
He quickly dismissed the apology, although it was nice to know she was listening. That raised her in his estimation too many of these operators got pushy when all he really needed was some time to think about.
A foot and a half square wasn't very much. Guillaume did some quick math and tried to estimate how many they'd need. This was a bit hard to do as he wasn't quite sure what they'd do with them.
The discount wasn't bad. He did some some more calculations and tried to work out what he could afford. Deciding he'd write at least half of it off as a business expense.
"I think... yes. Fifty please. No wait. That does not divided evenly by four."
Fifty two did but that was thirteen of each and thirteen was unlucky.
"Perhaps fifty six. But only if you you promise that neither you nor anyone else in your office will call this number again."
His ultimatum, however, stumped her. Britney felt her previous elation dissipate entirely as her heart plummeted into her stomach.
"Sir I... I have no control over the call list," she said. She tried to keep the desperate note of sadness out of her voice and remain friendly. "I'll be happy to put a note on your account though, and I can even try to speak to someone."
What else was she supposed to say? It was a little unfair. Britney was a telemarketing peon. They were pretty much the lowest of the low. She had absolutely no say in who was called how many times. And no one higher up would listen to her; probably didn't even know her name. She just made calls and took payment information. Did this guy actually think she had some kind of important position, that she could make such a promise?
She waited, holding her breath, in the pitiful hope that her small efforts would be enough even though she was pretty sure any note she could add would be ignored.
He said with genuine appreciation in his voice. That was as much as he could expect from a first level operator. Guillaume knew from experience even a supervisor wasn't able to do much about the call list. So while Brittany put a note on his account, he'd go back to the do not call people and see what went wrong. It was a shame it was a free service, there would be no money back guarantee.
"Can you make sure it is strongly worded though? Please?"
In the mean time he stumbled out of bed and searched around for his credit card. He had to feel the pockets of three pairs of pants before he could find his wallet.
Lord he didn't want to have to explain to Evan where all these glowing rocks had come from, but it was too late now.
When he said he'd take them anyway, Britney bounced in her seat and mumbled a happy little yay too low for anyone to hear.
"You'll love them. I promise!"
She nodded so hard at his request that her headset rattled. "Strongly worded note, got it!"
Britney put in the amount requested and waited for him to get his credit card information so that they could finish their transaction. Then she'd let him go back to whatever it was he had been doing before becoming the proud owner of glowing rocks.
((OOC: We can out here if you like or Guillaume can say something more and out them both if he wants ))