Eiryk was beat. This job was a nightmare his client was nouveau riche in the extreme, had terrible taste, kept changing his mind and worse yet kept hitting on him. Normally Eiryk didn't ming a little good natured flirting and could quietly set a client, male or female, right cordially and with some humor so that there were no hard feelings. This man.... Eiryk shuddered. He was certain that the man was going to turn up naked on some fabric samples.
He could quit. He could shut the whole studio down or sell it to one of his other designers. It wasn't like he needed the money, he just needed something to do every day. He'd be a wonderful house husband. Or maybe he could do advertising. That might be fun. A new challenge. He'd have to chat with Alex about that. Deep down though, Eiryk knew he didn't want a career change he just wanted to bitch a bit. A glass of mead, a hot shower and a bitch session with Alex would put everything right and if this client got too pushy Eiryk would just quit.
Speaking of Alex, Eiryk checked his watch, a pocket watch he'd taken to wearing lately thinking it off set the longer shaggier hair (he'd grown it out to his pre-turned length for a kick), to see if his boyfriend would still be up. It was late but not too late. He'd give Alex 50/50 odds but didn't think that his partner would stay up too much later if he was awake.
"Hi honey I'm home."
He said very quietly. The only answer was a soft yip from Thora, but she didn't come greet him. That usually meant Alex was up, or at least in the living room. It was her way.
Loosening his tie she saw Alex awake and on the sofa with a hot pack on his knee. Eiryk frowned at that.
"Rough class tonight?"
Knees were tricky things and that one had been bothering Alex for a while. Before shedding his coat and tie he leaned over to kiss Alex softly on the lips.
Stopping Time (attn: Eiryk)
Alex had thought long and hard about what he and Aishe had talked about. He remembered how he'd felt when he'd discovered what Eiryk was, and how bad he'd felt that Eiryk hadn't trusted him with the secret. How could he repay that hurt with equal hurt? Yet the way Eiryk had reacted to something as simple as the flu gave him pause.
Eiryk had learned though... and Eiryk was his boyfriend. If he couldn't tell Eiryk what was happening in his own life, did they really belong together? No. Aishe had been right in this, at least. Eiryk should know at least most of what was happening with Alex. And, well, she'd also been right when she had said it would be practically impossible for him to hide the chemo from Eiryk too. All Alex could think was that he wasn't really in his right mind. He was practically out of it, in fact, with fear and stress.
He did want Eiryk to know. He wanted his partner's support. After talking to Aishe earlier he realized he didn't want to do it all by himself. It was all right to accept help from his friends. He still didn't want to worry them though, and he did want to try and fight this disease on his own.
He waited up for his partner, since Eiryk was out doing a job. He'd said he would be home by midnight though. That wasn't so long to wait up; Alex frequently did so. He made himself some green tea and sat on the couch, one leg curled under him, his injured leg stretched out. He'd put a hot pack on it since it was sore and it was soothing, although it didn't do a whole lot to ease the pain.
Eiryk
11 years ago
Alex Aristos
11 years ago
Alex heard Eiryk come in and felt nervous. Anxious. Sad. Upset about what he was going to tell his boyfriend, because it was bad news and worse news and there wasn't any way to make it better. And worse, he had told Eiryk so many times how he didn't want to be a vampire that he knew his partner probably wouldn't even bring it up. He hadn't told Eiryk he'd been reconsidering that option, and he didn't want to get Eiryk's hopes up now. It would be cruel. The last thing Alex wanted to do was feel like he had to be turned to escape the unpleasantness of his actual life. He had wanted it to be his choice, made for the proper reasons.
Alex smiled and looked up when Eiryk appeared. He didn't know how or when to tell him. Soon, and gently, were all.
"Hey gorgeous."
Eiryk was always hot. Dressed up or dressed down. Maybe it was a vampire thing. He sighed happily into the kiss he gave him. Then he reached up, grabbed Eiryk's tie gently, and pulled him closer with it for another kiss.
"Yeah, a little," he said when Eiryk asked about his knee. Moving the hot pack aside he stood up, helped Eiryk out of his tie and coat, and moved closer, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him close.
"How about I join you in the shower and you can tell me about your day?" Alex turned his best warm brown bedroom eyes on Eiryk. He wanted to be close to him, to love him, to show him how much he needed Eiryk there with him. His boyfriend offered no resistance so Alex took his hand and tugged him toward the shower.
Once inside there was very little hearing about Eiryk's day. Alex was rarely the aggressor in their relationship but tonight he made his desires known. He wanted to taste his boyfriend, and wanted his boyfriend to taste him... hell, could Eiryk even bite him when he was being drugged with chemo? Maybe but he doubted it would taste good and it was probably dangerous for Alex. So he dragged his fingers through Eiryk's long hair (God, it was sexy this length - he hoped Eiryk never cut it) and pulled his boyfriend toward his neck, practically demanding the bite, moaning Eiryk's name as the pleasure of it coursed through him, and then sinking to his knees afterward and taking Eiryk into his mouth, enveloping him in the warmth of it and drinking him in.
They were nearly out of hot water when they staggered, sated, from the shower once more. Alex didn't stop touching Eiryk even as they dressed but they did control themselves as they returned to the living room. Alex was the one who seated Eiryk on the couch and brought him a glass of mead. Alex had some too. It was a night for a drink or two.
He waited until they were snuggled against each other, Alex leaning against Eiryk's chest, the hot pack on his knee once more, before bringing the topic up. Holding his mead with one hand he slid his free one beneath Eiryk's shirt, tracing the scars there lightly.
"I went to the doctor about my knee a few weeks ago," he finally said softly. "It wasn't good news, Eiryk. I've been wanting to tell you but... it's hard. I didn't know how."
He took a deep breath and looked up into Eiryk's blue eyes. "It's a mass. It's malignant. They did a test and just got the results back a few days ago."
He continued on before he could lose his nerve. "They want to do chemo, then remove it, and do some more. They think they should be able to get it all, but there's a slight chance that..." his breath hitched. "There's a slight chance they might have to remove my leg."
His hand gripped Eiryk's side tightly now; he was terrified of where this was all going and, more than ever, he needed his boyfriend's love and support. But he didn't know how Eiryk would respond. Briefly he wondered - panicked, really - would Eiryk even want his partner around if he might die in the near future and didn't want to be a vampire?
Alexander looked up at Eiryk, his eyes full of worry, fear, unable to hide those emotions. He didn't want to hide them from Eiryk.
Alex smiled and looked up when Eiryk appeared. He didn't know how or when to tell him. Soon, and gently, were all.
"Hey gorgeous."
Eiryk was always hot. Dressed up or dressed down. Maybe it was a vampire thing. He sighed happily into the kiss he gave him. Then he reached up, grabbed Eiryk's tie gently, and pulled him closer with it for another kiss.
"Yeah, a little," he said when Eiryk asked about his knee. Moving the hot pack aside he stood up, helped Eiryk out of his tie and coat, and moved closer, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him close.
"How about I join you in the shower and you can tell me about your day?" Alex turned his best warm brown bedroom eyes on Eiryk. He wanted to be close to him, to love him, to show him how much he needed Eiryk there with him. His boyfriend offered no resistance so Alex took his hand and tugged him toward the shower.
Once inside there was very little hearing about Eiryk's day. Alex was rarely the aggressor in their relationship but tonight he made his desires known. He wanted to taste his boyfriend, and wanted his boyfriend to taste him... hell, could Eiryk even bite him when he was being drugged with chemo? Maybe but he doubted it would taste good and it was probably dangerous for Alex. So he dragged his fingers through Eiryk's long hair (God, it was sexy this length - he hoped Eiryk never cut it) and pulled his boyfriend toward his neck, practically demanding the bite, moaning Eiryk's name as the pleasure of it coursed through him, and then sinking to his knees afterward and taking Eiryk into his mouth, enveloping him in the warmth of it and drinking him in.
They were nearly out of hot water when they staggered, sated, from the shower once more. Alex didn't stop touching Eiryk even as they dressed but they did control themselves as they returned to the living room. Alex was the one who seated Eiryk on the couch and brought him a glass of mead. Alex had some too. It was a night for a drink or two.
He waited until they were snuggled against each other, Alex leaning against Eiryk's chest, the hot pack on his knee once more, before bringing the topic up. Holding his mead with one hand he slid his free one beneath Eiryk's shirt, tracing the scars there lightly.
"I went to the doctor about my knee a few weeks ago," he finally said softly. "It wasn't good news, Eiryk. I've been wanting to tell you but... it's hard. I didn't know how."
He took a deep breath and looked up into Eiryk's blue eyes. "It's a mass. It's malignant. They did a test and just got the results back a few days ago."
He continued on before he could lose his nerve. "They want to do chemo, then remove it, and do some more. They think they should be able to get it all, but there's a slight chance that..." his breath hitched. "There's a slight chance they might have to remove my leg."
His hand gripped Eiryk's side tightly now; he was terrified of where this was all going and, more than ever, he needed his boyfriend's love and support. But he didn't know how Eiryk would respond. Briefly he wondered - panicked, really - would Eiryk even want his partner around if he might die in the near future and didn't want to be a vampire?
Alexander looked up at Eiryk, his eyes full of worry, fear, unable to hide those emotions. He didn't want to hide them from Eiryk.
Eiryk
11 years ago
It was a little surprising, but not much, when Alex became so affectionate and chose to upend their usual routine. Typically Eiryk would post pone showering until after Alex had turned in, he didn't like to waste shared time together with something like that. But who could say no to that face. Any protest Eiryk might have made about Alex's knee and needing to take it easy were gone just as fast as his coat and tie, although he did take a second to hang them both up neatly.
He thanked at the gods he'd ever believed in (and still did for that matter) for their shower. Given how much use they got out of it, that was one of the best splurges he'd ever made. Eiryk did pause for a moment before biting Alex, he almost always did. It wasn't that he didn't want to, god he wanted to, but with Alex he was always very careful to ensure that there was no risk of a familiar bond, that Alex knew he was going to bite and that Alex had had enough time to rebuild the blood he'd lost. Satisfied that all three criteria were met he'd complied with Alex's unspoken demand. That one and all the rest. Eiryk had almost lost his footing more than once and there had been one heady moment where he'd worried that they'd cracked a tile.
Even exhausted, and no longer worried about any portion of his day, Eiryk hadn't been totally content to let things go and had tenderly dried Alex and in the steamy bathroom massaged moisturizer into what had to be bruised or at least taxed muscles. It took talent to do what they did in a shower.
Once on the sofa, mead in hand Eiryk felt his eyes half close. He was very probably perfectly happy. He was loved and in love, he had mead, he was very clean and delightfully exhausted. Alex's soft touch almost had him purring.
It was funny how fast that mood could change.
Eiryk's eyes snapped open and he listened. He didn't interrupt, he just listened and to more what Alex was saying. He wasn't an empath but he could hear all the suppressed emotion in Alex's voice, feel his lover holding him and it didn't take a rocket scientist to work out this was indeed bad news and how scared Alex was.
He wanted to freak out, every fiber of his being was in panic mode. He wasn't going to lose Alex, not now, not any part of him. That would happen soon enough this malignant mass wouldn't do it sooner. Besides, he'd learned that freaking out got him thrown out and Alex needed him right now. There was no way he was going to be away from his boyfriend with this going one.
Eiryk gulped his mead down in one long swallow using the time to settle himself and his own nerves. He'd freak out later. Now, now he pulled Alex too him and held him tightly.
"Its OK love. You told me now. We'll figure it out."
He didn't know a damned thing about cancer and the only thing he knew about chemo was people lost their hair. There were no reassurances he could offer.
"Let's not borrow trouble shall we? We'll get you in for treatment and it will be fine. We'll ask Rue if he has any other ideas, modern medicine doesn't always know everything and I'll take some time off to be with you."
If Alex rejected that he'd offer to hire a nurse. Undoubtedly that would be rejected but Eiryk would at least offer. Eiryk wasn't going to let him go through this alone.
"Now... what is the doctor's plan right at this point. Should I meet him... her?"
The truth was Eiryk was scared, terrified, and felt helpless. He had no idea what to do, but he was putting everything he had into being calm and confidant for Alex and thought he was managing to sound both concerned and matter of fact.
He thanked at the gods he'd ever believed in (and still did for that matter) for their shower. Given how much use they got out of it, that was one of the best splurges he'd ever made. Eiryk did pause for a moment before biting Alex, he almost always did. It wasn't that he didn't want to, god he wanted to, but with Alex he was always very careful to ensure that there was no risk of a familiar bond, that Alex knew he was going to bite and that Alex had had enough time to rebuild the blood he'd lost. Satisfied that all three criteria were met he'd complied with Alex's unspoken demand. That one and all the rest. Eiryk had almost lost his footing more than once and there had been one heady moment where he'd worried that they'd cracked a tile.
Even exhausted, and no longer worried about any portion of his day, Eiryk hadn't been totally content to let things go and had tenderly dried Alex and in the steamy bathroom massaged moisturizer into what had to be bruised or at least taxed muscles. It took talent to do what they did in a shower.
Once on the sofa, mead in hand Eiryk felt his eyes half close. He was very probably perfectly happy. He was loved and in love, he had mead, he was very clean and delightfully exhausted. Alex's soft touch almost had him purring.
It was funny how fast that mood could change.
Eiryk's eyes snapped open and he listened. He didn't interrupt, he just listened and to more what Alex was saying. He wasn't an empath but he could hear all the suppressed emotion in Alex's voice, feel his lover holding him and it didn't take a rocket scientist to work out this was indeed bad news and how scared Alex was.
He wanted to freak out, every fiber of his being was in panic mode. He wasn't going to lose Alex, not now, not any part of him. That would happen soon enough this malignant mass wouldn't do it sooner. Besides, he'd learned that freaking out got him thrown out and Alex needed him right now. There was no way he was going to be away from his boyfriend with this going one.
Eiryk gulped his mead down in one long swallow using the time to settle himself and his own nerves. He'd freak out later. Now, now he pulled Alex too him and held him tightly.
"Its OK love. You told me now. We'll figure it out."
He didn't know a damned thing about cancer and the only thing he knew about chemo was people lost their hair. There were no reassurances he could offer.
"Let's not borrow trouble shall we? We'll get you in for treatment and it will be fine. We'll ask Rue if he has any other ideas, modern medicine doesn't always know everything and I'll take some time off to be with you."
If Alex rejected that he'd offer to hire a nurse. Undoubtedly that would be rejected but Eiryk would at least offer. Eiryk wasn't going to let him go through this alone.
"Now... what is the doctor's plan right at this point. Should I meet him... her?"
The truth was Eiryk was scared, terrified, and felt helpless. He had no idea what to do, but he was putting everything he had into being calm and confidant for Alex and thought he was managing to sound both concerned and matter of fact.
Alex Aristos
11 years ago
Eiryk took the news with surprising calm. Maybe Alex should always preface any future bad news with a blowjob and good mead. That couldn't be a bad idea, regardless. He clung to Eiryk, taking solace in the even tone of his voice, knowing that Eiryk had to be putting it on for him. He nodded against Eiryk's chest when he said he'd take time off.
"You can take time off? You're sure?" He turned his head up to Eiryk, his eyes full of hope. He had thought he would just manage by himself. He always managed by himself. But knowing Eiryk would be there helped. It really did help.
"I don't want to tell Cris and Rowan," he amended softly. "Not yet. They're... they're planning a wedding, Eiryk. They're so happy. This whole thing could be over before it even starts."
He knew he was being falsely optimistic. If nothing else, the chemo would take a toll on him. But to Alex, who had never know anyone who'd gone through this sort of thing, it just seemed surreal. Like he could walk it off. Or something. But he really, really didn't want to ruin Cris and Rowan's plans. Whatever they were.
"The plan is, I'm supposed to be there on Saturday morning at 6 am. They're going to anesthetize me and insert a port in my chest for the chemo. Then give me the first dose. I'll do it for a few weeks and then they'll do the surgery. They can tell if they need to adjust the chemo after they take the mass out, and then I have to do it again."
He was holding tightly to Eiryk. He set his now empty glass down, to be able to wrap both arms around his boyfriend.
"I'm scared, Eiryk."
He heaved a deep sigh, trying not to cry. Because crying was totally not appealing. "I just... I don't want to leave you. I'm not ready for this to happen."
Why couldn't life stop handing him crap? Well... that was hardly fair. Life had actually been pretty kind to him. He should remember everything he had now; a beautiful home, wonderful friends, and of course, a loving partner. When he thought about it that way, this seemed like a small price to pay. To be loved like this by so many more people than he's ever thought he would be. A real family - it was definitely worth going through hell for.
He swallowed hard and got a grip. "I told Aishe," he said. "I just... needed some advice. How to tell you, things like that. She wanted to be there too, so I told her that was all right. I think she's going to be there in the evening. But... if we get up early, do you think you could come with me?"
It would be light out by 6, probably, but if they got up and left by 5 it would be dark enough that Eiryk would be safe. Once inside the hospital Eiryk could avoid the windows easily enough.
"You can take time off? You're sure?" He turned his head up to Eiryk, his eyes full of hope. He had thought he would just manage by himself. He always managed by himself. But knowing Eiryk would be there helped. It really did help.
"I don't want to tell Cris and Rowan," he amended softly. "Not yet. They're... they're planning a wedding, Eiryk. They're so happy. This whole thing could be over before it even starts."
He knew he was being falsely optimistic. If nothing else, the chemo would take a toll on him. But to Alex, who had never know anyone who'd gone through this sort of thing, it just seemed surreal. Like he could walk it off. Or something. But he really, really didn't want to ruin Cris and Rowan's plans. Whatever they were.
"The plan is, I'm supposed to be there on Saturday morning at 6 am. They're going to anesthetize me and insert a port in my chest for the chemo. Then give me the first dose. I'll do it for a few weeks and then they'll do the surgery. They can tell if they need to adjust the chemo after they take the mass out, and then I have to do it again."
He was holding tightly to Eiryk. He set his now empty glass down, to be able to wrap both arms around his boyfriend.
"I'm scared, Eiryk."
He heaved a deep sigh, trying not to cry. Because crying was totally not appealing. "I just... I don't want to leave you. I'm not ready for this to happen."
Why couldn't life stop handing him crap? Well... that was hardly fair. Life had actually been pretty kind to him. He should remember everything he had now; a beautiful home, wonderful friends, and of course, a loving partner. When he thought about it that way, this seemed like a small price to pay. To be loved like this by so many more people than he's ever thought he would be. A real family - it was definitely worth going through hell for.
He swallowed hard and got a grip. "I told Aishe," he said. "I just... needed some advice. How to tell you, things like that. She wanted to be there too, so I told her that was all right. I think she's going to be there in the evening. But... if we get up early, do you think you could come with me?"
It would be light out by 6, probably, but if they got up and left by 5 it would be dark enough that Eiryk would be safe. Once inside the hospital Eiryk could avoid the windows easily enough.
Eiryk
11 years ago
"Of course I'm sure, I'm the boss."
Eiryk said with a grin. It was just like Alex to worry about things like that, about other people, rather than his own, much -much- larger problem.
"If it comes down to it, I'll sell the studio or take a leave of absence. It will be fine. I'll be there for you any time of the day or night."
How he was going to keep that promise Eiryk had no idea but he would keep it. If he had to sleep at the foot of Alex's hospital bed, he'd do it. The idea of not telling Cris and Rowan felt very very wrong. Both men cared about Alex and would want to help as well and it couldn't be smart to cut a medical expert out of the picture. Not to mention that one of the few people Eiryk could freak out at/with/around at this point would be Rue.
He sighed and wished that he had more mead, but he wasn't going to let Alex go right now. Eiryk wasn't sure if Alex needed to be held or if he needed to hold Alex but he wasn't letting go. Reluctantly though, he agreed.
"If that's the way you want it. If this is easy, you're right they might not need to know right away."
But Eiryk didn't want to keep the secret from them forever. In the long run that would be a bad idea and neither of them would be happy to have been kept out of the loop. But they could wait, and that wasn't their biggest problem right now.
"Who what?"
Eiryk asked bewildered by the idea of something being stuck in Alex's chest. That didn't sound conformable or sexy. They were not off to a good start.
"Don't be scared. I'm sure the doctors do this all the time and they know what their doing. They have a plan and you're not leaving me, don't even think like that."
Dear god what if he did though. Eiryk really wished Alex hadn't said that because now he had to think about it and he was terrified. He wanted to cry. Life without Alex wasn't an option.
Eiryk counted to five in three different languages, he really wanted to tie a knot in something, but he couldn't do that without both letting go of Alex and without betraying his own nerves. He might not be quite tough enough to handle this but he was going to try.
"Good. She's a good choice I'm sure she gave you some good advice."
And Eiryk could freak out on her. He'd done it before.
"Of course I'll be there. I might have to meet you though."
Maybe Rowan could still smuggle him into the hospital late the night before while it was dark and tell him where to hide out. Maybe he could survive a light singe. He might have to set a few alarms and tell Thora it was very important that he be awake, the vixen was a big help waking him up sometimes.
Eiryk paused and looked deep into Alex's eyes without blinking.
"We will make this work, it isn't insurmountable and I will be there for you."
There were other things they'd have to talk about. Alex's store, insurance (he didn't think Alex had any but Eiryk would pay the bills without a second thought), his parents. That was one Eiryk didn't relish dealing with and wasn't going to bring up. Maybe he could get Alex's trunk back one day as a get well present though.
Eiryk said with a grin. It was just like Alex to worry about things like that, about other people, rather than his own, much -much- larger problem.
"If it comes down to it, I'll sell the studio or take a leave of absence. It will be fine. I'll be there for you any time of the day or night."
How he was going to keep that promise Eiryk had no idea but he would keep it. If he had to sleep at the foot of Alex's hospital bed, he'd do it. The idea of not telling Cris and Rowan felt very very wrong. Both men cared about Alex and would want to help as well and it couldn't be smart to cut a medical expert out of the picture. Not to mention that one of the few people Eiryk could freak out at/with/around at this point would be Rue.
He sighed and wished that he had more mead, but he wasn't going to let Alex go right now. Eiryk wasn't sure if Alex needed to be held or if he needed to hold Alex but he wasn't letting go. Reluctantly though, he agreed.
"If that's the way you want it. If this is easy, you're right they might not need to know right away."
But Eiryk didn't want to keep the secret from them forever. In the long run that would be a bad idea and neither of them would be happy to have been kept out of the loop. But they could wait, and that wasn't their biggest problem right now.
"Who what?"
Eiryk asked bewildered by the idea of something being stuck in Alex's chest. That didn't sound conformable or sexy. They were not off to a good start.
"Don't be scared. I'm sure the doctors do this all the time and they know what their doing. They have a plan and you're not leaving me, don't even think like that."
Dear god what if he did though. Eiryk really wished Alex hadn't said that because now he had to think about it and he was terrified. He wanted to cry. Life without Alex wasn't an option.
Eiryk counted to five in three different languages, he really wanted to tie a knot in something, but he couldn't do that without both letting go of Alex and without betraying his own nerves. He might not be quite tough enough to handle this but he was going to try.
"Good. She's a good choice I'm sure she gave you some good advice."
And Eiryk could freak out on her. He'd done it before.
"Of course I'll be there. I might have to meet you though."
Maybe Rowan could still smuggle him into the hospital late the night before while it was dark and tell him where to hide out. Maybe he could survive a light singe. He might have to set a few alarms and tell Thora it was very important that he be awake, the vixen was a big help waking him up sometimes.
Eiryk paused and looked deep into Alex's eyes without blinking.
"We will make this work, it isn't insurmountable and I will be there for you."
There were other things they'd have to talk about. Alex's store, insurance (he didn't think Alex had any but Eiryk would pay the bills without a second thought), his parents. That was one Eiryk didn't relish dealing with and wasn't going to bring up. Maybe he could get Alex's trunk back one day as a get well present though.
Alex Aristos
11 years ago
Alex just lay where he was and reminded himself to breathe deeply and not panic. The last thing he needed to do right now was panic. Panic probably spread cancer or something.
There was reluctance in Eiryk's voice when he agreed not to tell Cris and Rowan and Alex couldn't say he didn't understand - he didn't want to keep them in the dark really, either. But it seemed pointless to make them worry right now.
"Maybe..." he wavered. "Maybe we should tell them after all? Do you think? Having them there would be good. Rowan does know a lot and Cris... is Cris."
What more could he say? Cris wasn't just head of Security. Cris -was- security. Cris was their friend, solid as a rock, quietly reliable, silently passionate. Alex felt a deep attachment to him and it didn't sit well with him, leaving them out. He'd thought he should at first but between Aishe and now Eiryk he was reconsidering. He wasn't always right all the time.
"I would have hurt you if I hadn't told you about this," he murmured against Eiryk's shirt. "I don't want to hurt them. What's worse? Keeping it from them now, or worrying them earlier rather than later?"
He could feel that Eiryk was tense; they both were, and Alex didn't want to be. He wanted to go back to the easy love they shared. What they'd had in their cabin, on Eiryk's boat, in the shower just ten minutes past. The future didn't seem particularly bright at the moment.
"If we leave at 5 you could come in with me," he said. "The port will be in by noon. It's an IV catheter so they can administer drugs and take blood. After that they do the chemo and hang onto me for a little while."
Alex considered. "Do you think... maybe, I mean, maybe they would let Rowan do it? I could stay here at Liefde. And he could give me what I need."
That was a far cry from 'not telling Rowan and Cris.' Alex was rethinking things at a very rapid rate, doubting himself at every turn. Maybe he needed to tell all of his friends so they could be prepared for what to expect. God, he'd have to tell Marie. She knew something was up; she was filling in extra hours. He squeezed his eyes shut then opened them to look at Eiryk.
"Yeah. We'll get through this," he said. Leaning up, he kissed Eiryk softly, almost desperately, upon the lips.
There was reluctance in Eiryk's voice when he agreed not to tell Cris and Rowan and Alex couldn't say he didn't understand - he didn't want to keep them in the dark really, either. But it seemed pointless to make them worry right now.
"Maybe..." he wavered. "Maybe we should tell them after all? Do you think? Having them there would be good. Rowan does know a lot and Cris... is Cris."
What more could he say? Cris wasn't just head of Security. Cris -was- security. Cris was their friend, solid as a rock, quietly reliable, silently passionate. Alex felt a deep attachment to him and it didn't sit well with him, leaving them out. He'd thought he should at first but between Aishe and now Eiryk he was reconsidering. He wasn't always right all the time.
"I would have hurt you if I hadn't told you about this," he murmured against Eiryk's shirt. "I don't want to hurt them. What's worse? Keeping it from them now, or worrying them earlier rather than later?"
He could feel that Eiryk was tense; they both were, and Alex didn't want to be. He wanted to go back to the easy love they shared. What they'd had in their cabin, on Eiryk's boat, in the shower just ten minutes past. The future didn't seem particularly bright at the moment.
"If we leave at 5 you could come in with me," he said. "The port will be in by noon. It's an IV catheter so they can administer drugs and take blood. After that they do the chemo and hang onto me for a little while."
Alex considered. "Do you think... maybe, I mean, maybe they would let Rowan do it? I could stay here at Liefde. And he could give me what I need."
That was a far cry from 'not telling Rowan and Cris.' Alex was rethinking things at a very rapid rate, doubting himself at every turn. Maybe he needed to tell all of his friends so they could be prepared for what to expect. God, he'd have to tell Marie. She knew something was up; she was filling in extra hours. He squeezed his eyes shut then opened them to look at Eiryk.
"Yeah. We'll get through this," he said. Leaning up, he kissed Eiryk softly, almost desperately, upon the lips.
Eiryk
11 years ago
Eiryk knew that any answer he gave was going to be throwing a rock into a glass house. After twelve hundred years you got used to keeping secrets, little ones and big ones. You didn't tell the guy on the long boat he had a great ass and you didn't often tell even your closest friends you were a vampire. If he were in Alex's position Eiryk was fairly certain he'd want as few people to know as possible, but in Rowan and Cris' position.... he'd want to know even if there wasn't anything he could do.
"I think that they are going to worry no matter what, but if we let them worry now they might appreciate it and moving a boat upstream is easier with more men."
Alex was going to need all the support he could get. It seemed odd not to tell their close friends. Eiryk wasn't advocating taking out a bill board or advertising this but some people deserved to know.
"Besides, Cris makes a great chicken soup. We should cash in on that."
It was a little bit of dark humor but they needed some humor right now. Eiryk absently began to rub Alex's arm. He felt so solid, healthy, and alive, it was near impossible to imagine something was eating him up from the inside out. Didn't chemo make you sick? He thought he'd read or heard something about it poisoning the cancer cells but that it meant you were poisoning the rest of the body too. Humans had odd ways of handling things. But so long as it worked he wouldn't say a word, he just didn't like the idea at all.
"Five it is then. That should be easy enough."
How they would get him -out- of the hospital was going to be tricky. It wasn't dark until late in the day and he doubted that they'd hold on to Alex that long. He'd just have to bring a laptop and a good book and make sure someone was waiting at home for Alex. Maybe Aishe could do that instead of coming after dark. Surely she wouldn't mind that little change of plans.
Alex seemed to be doing a complete one eighty on the idea of not telling their friends and it was an idea he supported completely.
"I don't have any idea if Rue is qualified as an oncologist or for this kind of treatment. But it might be possible. We'd have to ask. But as long as he is qualified and willing you're the patient you get to pick your doctors and treatments I think it might be an option."
And it would undoubtedly be more comfortable and comforting to be at home, less stress and damned handy to have your doctor on call and in the same building.
You'd think this was a death sentence they way there were both action Eiryk thought as Alex kissed him. This wasn't their last moments together and even if they were, they were together and that was all that really mattered.
How he'd kept it hidden for so long Eiryk wasn't sure but for months, if not a year or more, he'd always had the same item in his pocket. Alex had never seen it. Even tonight as they'd dressed Eiryk had, without Alex's knowledge transferred it from one pants pocket to another. He took Alex's left hand and quietly slid it on his ring finger.
"We will get through it, no matter what and no matter what I am always going to love you and want you. Forever."
There was no one else, not before Alex and not after Alex. Malignant mass or not they belonged together and Alex needed to know that Eiryk meant every word of that right now.
"I think that they are going to worry no matter what, but if we let them worry now they might appreciate it and moving a boat upstream is easier with more men."
Alex was going to need all the support he could get. It seemed odd not to tell their close friends. Eiryk wasn't advocating taking out a bill board or advertising this but some people deserved to know.
"Besides, Cris makes a great chicken soup. We should cash in on that."
It was a little bit of dark humor but they needed some humor right now. Eiryk absently began to rub Alex's arm. He felt so solid, healthy, and alive, it was near impossible to imagine something was eating him up from the inside out. Didn't chemo make you sick? He thought he'd read or heard something about it poisoning the cancer cells but that it meant you were poisoning the rest of the body too. Humans had odd ways of handling things. But so long as it worked he wouldn't say a word, he just didn't like the idea at all.
"Five it is then. That should be easy enough."
How they would get him -out- of the hospital was going to be tricky. It wasn't dark until late in the day and he doubted that they'd hold on to Alex that long. He'd just have to bring a laptop and a good book and make sure someone was waiting at home for Alex. Maybe Aishe could do that instead of coming after dark. Surely she wouldn't mind that little change of plans.
Alex seemed to be doing a complete one eighty on the idea of not telling their friends and it was an idea he supported completely.
"I don't have any idea if Rue is qualified as an oncologist or for this kind of treatment. But it might be possible. We'd have to ask. But as long as he is qualified and willing you're the patient you get to pick your doctors and treatments I think it might be an option."
And it would undoubtedly be more comfortable and comforting to be at home, less stress and damned handy to have your doctor on call and in the same building.
You'd think this was a death sentence they way there were both action Eiryk thought as Alex kissed him. This wasn't their last moments together and even if they were, they were together and that was all that really mattered.
How he'd kept it hidden for so long Eiryk wasn't sure but for months, if not a year or more, he'd always had the same item in his pocket. Alex had never seen it. Even tonight as they'd dressed Eiryk had, without Alex's knowledge transferred it from one pants pocket to another. He took Alex's left hand and quietly slid it on his ring finger.
"We will get through it, no matter what and no matter what I am always going to love you and want you. Forever."
There was no one else, not before Alex and not after Alex. Malignant mass or not they belonged together and Alex needed to know that Eiryk meant every word of that right now.
Alex Aristos
11 years ago
Eiryk agreed with Aishe, that Cris and Rowan should know. Alex was going to feel terrible telling them but even as he thought that, something inside of him responded favorably. They would help. It was all right to need help. Aishe and Kem, Eiryk, Cris and Rowan... they had become his friends here when he'd desperately needed friends. And this was what friends did, right? Alex didn't know what he could ever do to repay them back for all they gave to him but surely something would come up. Something always did.
Resting against Eiryk he breathed in the familiar scent of his partner's clothing. "Okay," he said. "We'll tell Cris and Rowan."
He was still terrified. He wasn't sure if Eiryk understood fully what chemo was like but from everything Alex knew it was hell. And he still had trouble associating it with himself. Was he going to lose all his hair? Drop thirty pounds? Puke his guts out incessantly? The doctor had warned him that all or none of those things might happen but that medicine had taken great strides in cancer care in he last few decades and many of those side effects could be relieved or at least diminished. Maybe having Rowan to talk to about it would help. And Cris's cool head was always welcome.
"Cris does make good soup," Alex chuckled dryly. Would he ever not be the one of them who had trouble? If it wasn't something physical it was something with his store, or something else. Sometimes he didn't feel like he had it together a all.
"I'll ask Rowan about it when I talk to him," Alex said. "I mean I know they plan to administer the chemo at the hospital and then send me home but it would be nice if I didn't have to go there at all."
Alex would admit the hospital was a frightening place to him. He didn't like being there. He did his best to forget about it while he kissed Eiryk, disliking the fear of the building itself, the fear of losing his leg or his life, the fear of what he had gone through for the past few weeks and what he was about to go through for the next few. They had hope, and they should hold onto it. Hope that this treatment would take care of what was wrong with Alex and give him the time he had always assumed he'd have to live his life.
He glanced down as Eiryk spoke, sliding something warm and hard onto his finger. Sitting up in surprise, his good leg folded under him, he blinked and then looked back at EIryk, his mouth open a little, his cheeks flushing beneath his tan.
"Eiryk is this... I mean... really?"
Was Eiryk proposing to him? Here? Now? Alex looked down at the slender band of what looked liked brushed platinum. Of course, his eyes teared up. Eiryk always seemed to be able to wring his deepest emotions from him. He knew Eiryk loved him but... to get married? Could they really? Alex had never imagine this in his wildest dreams.
"Are you sure?" His voice was just a whisper. He could die. He would die, even if this all turned out all right, much sooner than Eiryk would want him to. He felt so happy... so unbelievably happy, that Eiryk would want this for him. With him.
"Do I get to buy one for you too?"
Resting against Eiryk he breathed in the familiar scent of his partner's clothing. "Okay," he said. "We'll tell Cris and Rowan."
He was still terrified. He wasn't sure if Eiryk understood fully what chemo was like but from everything Alex knew it was hell. And he still had trouble associating it with himself. Was he going to lose all his hair? Drop thirty pounds? Puke his guts out incessantly? The doctor had warned him that all or none of those things might happen but that medicine had taken great strides in cancer care in he last few decades and many of those side effects could be relieved or at least diminished. Maybe having Rowan to talk to about it would help. And Cris's cool head was always welcome.
"Cris does make good soup," Alex chuckled dryly. Would he ever not be the one of them who had trouble? If it wasn't something physical it was something with his store, or something else. Sometimes he didn't feel like he had it together a all.
"I'll ask Rowan about it when I talk to him," Alex said. "I mean I know they plan to administer the chemo at the hospital and then send me home but it would be nice if I didn't have to go there at all."
Alex would admit the hospital was a frightening place to him. He didn't like being there. He did his best to forget about it while he kissed Eiryk, disliking the fear of the building itself, the fear of losing his leg or his life, the fear of what he had gone through for the past few weeks and what he was about to go through for the next few. They had hope, and they should hold onto it. Hope that this treatment would take care of what was wrong with Alex and give him the time he had always assumed he'd have to live his life.
He glanced down as Eiryk spoke, sliding something warm and hard onto his finger. Sitting up in surprise, his good leg folded under him, he blinked and then looked back at EIryk, his mouth open a little, his cheeks flushing beneath his tan.
"Eiryk is this... I mean... really?"
Was Eiryk proposing to him? Here? Now? Alex looked down at the slender band of what looked liked brushed platinum. Of course, his eyes teared up. Eiryk always seemed to be able to wring his deepest emotions from him. He knew Eiryk loved him but... to get married? Could they really? Alex had never imagine this in his wildest dreams.
"Are you sure?" His voice was just a whisper. He could die. He would die, even if this all turned out all right, much sooner than Eiryk would want him to. He felt so happy... so unbelievably happy, that Eiryk would want this for him. With him.
"Do I get to buy one for you too?"
Eiryk
11 years ago
"We can talk to them together. I'm sure even if Rue can't do the chemo himself he'll know someone we can talk to."
Why hadn't he thought of that sooner. Of course Rue would know the very best doctors and who they should be working with. He was going to have to start thinking a lot more like a human and a lot more about doctors. There was going to be a lot of catch up reading for him in the next few days and weeks.
Eiryk just nodded. Yes really. He knew that Alex had been hesitant to commit, to get married, most of it had to do with the whole immortal thing so he'd held off on asking. Still he kicked himself on a regular basis for not asking sooner.
"Should I get on one knee? Say the words officially? If you're not convinced, I'll do it."
Even though Alex hadn't said yes exactly Eiryk knew an acceptance when he heard it and he was ecstatic. The timing wasn't perfect, but at the same time it was. It was so odd he couldn't describe it. Eiryk had never spelled it out to Alex but he'd never been married, he'd never really been in love. He might have thought he'd been in love but those moments paled in comparison to what he felt for Alex. So yeah he meant it, for really. As the inside of the band said, forever. Alex would get old and gray and weak and feeble and die and Eiryk would still love him. He could die on the operating table from this tumor, he could lose his leg to this mass, Eiryk would still love him. None of it mattered, just Alex.
He laughed at Alex' question. God it felt good to laugh right now, just as it had been good to hear Alex's chuckle it meant this disease wasn't winning. Eiryk honestly hadn't thought to order a band for himself. It just had seemed odd.. But the idea of Alex giving him one made him all tingly.
"Of course. If you want, I'd love to have one. After all if I'm marrying you, you'd best marry me."
It was only fair after all. And even though he didn't need it, he carried Alex with him everywhere he went any way, it would be nice to see that little band on his finger and know that he was Alex's would be too sweet for words.
Why hadn't he thought of that sooner. Of course Rue would know the very best doctors and who they should be working with. He was going to have to start thinking a lot more like a human and a lot more about doctors. There was going to be a lot of catch up reading for him in the next few days and weeks.
Eiryk just nodded. Yes really. He knew that Alex had been hesitant to commit, to get married, most of it had to do with the whole immortal thing so he'd held off on asking. Still he kicked himself on a regular basis for not asking sooner.
"Should I get on one knee? Say the words officially? If you're not convinced, I'll do it."
Even though Alex hadn't said yes exactly Eiryk knew an acceptance when he heard it and he was ecstatic. The timing wasn't perfect, but at the same time it was. It was so odd he couldn't describe it. Eiryk had never spelled it out to Alex but he'd never been married, he'd never really been in love. He might have thought he'd been in love but those moments paled in comparison to what he felt for Alex. So yeah he meant it, for really. As the inside of the band said, forever. Alex would get old and gray and weak and feeble and die and Eiryk would still love him. He could die on the operating table from this tumor, he could lose his leg to this mass, Eiryk would still love him. None of it mattered, just Alex.
He laughed at Alex' question. God it felt good to laugh right now, just as it had been good to hear Alex's chuckle it meant this disease wasn't winning. Eiryk honestly hadn't thought to order a band for himself. It just had seemed odd.. But the idea of Alex giving him one made him all tingly.
"Of course. If you want, I'd love to have one. After all if I'm marrying you, you'd best marry me."
It was only fair after all. And even though he didn't need it, he carried Alex with him everywhere he went any way, it would be nice to see that little band on his finger and know that he was Alex's would be too sweet for words.
Alex Aristos
11 years ago
Alexander smiled at Eiryk and nodded again. He'd like his boyfriend there when he told Rowan and Cris.
"I already have a doctor, but Rue can tell us if he's good. As far as I know there's just one place here in Nachton that offers the chemo."
After that thought all that was left was to enjoy this sensation. This floating sense of euphoria. He shook his head at Eiryk. "No. No, just stay where you are."
He lay back down, fitting himself right up against Eiryk, nestled in his partner's arms. Even though Alex was the taller of the two by several inches it never felt awkward. Eiryk always seemed to fit just right, no matter how they lay. Alex skimmed his hands up under Eiryk's shirt, let his fingertips ride over the ridges of his partner's ribs, rested his palms warmly against Eiryk's sides.
Tilting his head up he smiled and murmured, "Yes, by the way. Just in case it wasn't clear."
He pressed his lips gently to Eiryk's, knowing that by this time next week he probably wouldn't be quite as interested in a prolonged snuggle. He was going to capitalize on it tonight, damn it.
"I love you," he said softly when he broke away from kissing Eiryk for a moment. "I love you so much."
He sighed softly and let his eyes drift closed, lashes brushing his cheek bones as he returned to kissing Eiryk slowly, almost lazily, savoring every taste to remember for later. Alex almost didn't care what was going to happen in the future now. Eiryk's gift to him had provided the perfect distraction. He knew he would look at this ring frequently in the next few weeks and realize what it meant. Eiryk loved him. Eiryk would love him no matter what they went through. Eiryk would love him if he was violently sick everywhere, if his hair fell out, if he looked like death warmed over. Love was a powerful curative, because right now Alex wasn't quite as terrified as he'd been a few minutes ago.
"I already have a doctor, but Rue can tell us if he's good. As far as I know there's just one place here in Nachton that offers the chemo."
After that thought all that was left was to enjoy this sensation. This floating sense of euphoria. He shook his head at Eiryk. "No. No, just stay where you are."
He lay back down, fitting himself right up against Eiryk, nestled in his partner's arms. Even though Alex was the taller of the two by several inches it never felt awkward. Eiryk always seemed to fit just right, no matter how they lay. Alex skimmed his hands up under Eiryk's shirt, let his fingertips ride over the ridges of his partner's ribs, rested his palms warmly against Eiryk's sides.
Tilting his head up he smiled and murmured, "Yes, by the way. Just in case it wasn't clear."
He pressed his lips gently to Eiryk's, knowing that by this time next week he probably wouldn't be quite as interested in a prolonged snuggle. He was going to capitalize on it tonight, damn it.
"I love you," he said softly when he broke away from kissing Eiryk for a moment. "I love you so much."
He sighed softly and let his eyes drift closed, lashes brushing his cheek bones as he returned to kissing Eiryk slowly, almost lazily, savoring every taste to remember for later. Alex almost didn't care what was going to happen in the future now. Eiryk's gift to him had provided the perfect distraction. He knew he would look at this ring frequently in the next few weeks and realize what it meant. Eiryk loved him. Eiryk would love him no matter what they went through. Eiryk would love him if he was violently sick everywhere, if his hair fell out, if he looked like death warmed over. Love was a powerful curative, because right now Alex wasn't quite as terrified as he'd been a few minutes ago.
Eiryk
11 years ago
Nachton was a big city, Eiryk was certain there would be other options for getting chemo but that could be worked on later. They had other much more pleasant things to talk about right now. It wasn't that Eiryk didn't want to talk about the options and treatments and getting Alex well, but sometimes you needed a distraction.
Alexander fitted himself against him like a puzzle piece and he curled himself around Alex further, protectively as if he could chase off this disease with an ax. If there was a way that Eiryk could take this mass himself he'd do it. They could cut off his leg and he'd spend some serious time regenerating it, it would be a miniscule price to pay to keep Alex safe and healthy.
His hands pushed Alex's shirt up so he could feel the long ropy muscles of his lover's back. He was scared and confused and this wasn't happening to him. Alex was being stupidly brave and that just made Eiryk love him that much more.
They spent some serious time kissing. For his part Eiryk concentrated hard on every touch, movement, taste, smell and sound of that kiss. He was committing it to memory, this kiss, this one kiss he would never forget. This was the kiss when Alex said yes. When scared out of his mind about something beyond his control he said yes.
"And I love you more than I you'll ever know."
It went beyond words for Eiryk He'd given up trying to explain it. Alex must know at least some of how deeply he felt and that was good enough for him. So long as there was never any doubt about it in his partner's mind.
"Do I get to call you my fiancée now? Plan a huge winter wedding? And tell me about this enormous rock you're going to buy me."
He teased before leaning in and kissing Alex again. They were obviously going to try out this 'in sickness and in health' thing right off the bat. But Eiryk knew that they'd get through it. He wouldn't have asked if he didn't think they could get through this challenge just as well as they'd gotten through others.
Alexander fitted himself against him like a puzzle piece and he curled himself around Alex further, protectively as if he could chase off this disease with an ax. If there was a way that Eiryk could take this mass himself he'd do it. They could cut off his leg and he'd spend some serious time regenerating it, it would be a miniscule price to pay to keep Alex safe and healthy.
His hands pushed Alex's shirt up so he could feel the long ropy muscles of his lover's back. He was scared and confused and this wasn't happening to him. Alex was being stupidly brave and that just made Eiryk love him that much more.
They spent some serious time kissing. For his part Eiryk concentrated hard on every touch, movement, taste, smell and sound of that kiss. He was committing it to memory, this kiss, this one kiss he would never forget. This was the kiss when Alex said yes. When scared out of his mind about something beyond his control he said yes.
"And I love you more than I you'll ever know."
It went beyond words for Eiryk He'd given up trying to explain it. Alex must know at least some of how deeply he felt and that was good enough for him. So long as there was never any doubt about it in his partner's mind.
"Do I get to call you my fiancée now? Plan a huge winter wedding? And tell me about this enormous rock you're going to buy me."
He teased before leaning in and kissing Alex again. They were obviously going to try out this 'in sickness and in health' thing right off the bat. But Eiryk knew that they'd get through it. He wouldn't have asked if he didn't think they could get through this challenge just as well as they'd gotten through others.
Alex Aristos
11 years ago
His spirits buoyed by Eiryk's proposal, Alex did his best to answer Eiryk's questions as they came, not without flushing red again. "Yes, I suppose I'm your fiance. No, no huge wedding... unless you have to? And I'll get you... something. Maybe not a gigantic rock. Unless that's what you want and you'd better be careful what you wish for, because I can find rocks."
He smiled at Eiryk. Alex had no doubt that their own wedding planning might go differently than Cris and Rowan's. Eiryk was generally prone to planning big then having to be talked into small, and Alex couldn't imagine what they'd do with a huge wedding unless Eiryk had a ton of friends to invite.
For his part, Alex had none.
Really. His family would neither care to come nor care that he was getting married at all and even if they did the fact that there would be two grooms would be incentive to stay away, and all the friends he'd want on his guest list would also be on Eiryk's. So Alex's own personal list numbered zero.
He was surprisingly fine with that. Why should he need more? Somewhere deep down he felt a surge of bitter sadness and thought that it would be wonderful to have two parents who cared about him and worried about him and wanted to support him through the upcoming trials he faced but, his practical side responded, if wishes were horses then beggars would ride.
Alex pushed the sadness aside and embraced the joy of being with Eiryk. They had hope for the future. Alex might be in for a rough time but he'd sailed through those before. He was in good shape and had every reason to believe that if anyone had a good chance at beating this, he did. So he kissed Eiryk, moved against him suggestively, and slowly began to pull off the clothes Eiryk had put on after their shower.
After all, there was no time like the present to show Eiryk just how very much he loved him back.
((ooc: both out))
He smiled at Eiryk. Alex had no doubt that their own wedding planning might go differently than Cris and Rowan's. Eiryk was generally prone to planning big then having to be talked into small, and Alex couldn't imagine what they'd do with a huge wedding unless Eiryk had a ton of friends to invite.
For his part, Alex had none.
Really. His family would neither care to come nor care that he was getting married at all and even if they did the fact that there would be two grooms would be incentive to stay away, and all the friends he'd want on his guest list would also be on Eiryk's. So Alex's own personal list numbered zero.
He was surprisingly fine with that. Why should he need more? Somewhere deep down he felt a surge of bitter sadness and thought that it would be wonderful to have two parents who cared about him and worried about him and wanted to support him through the upcoming trials he faced but, his practical side responded, if wishes were horses then beggars would ride.
Alex pushed the sadness aside and embraced the joy of being with Eiryk. They had hope for the future. Alex might be in for a rough time but he'd sailed through those before. He was in good shape and had every reason to believe that if anyone had a good chance at beating this, he did. So he kissed Eiryk, moved against him suggestively, and slowly began to pull off the clothes Eiryk had put on after their shower.
After all, there was no time like the present to show Eiryk just how very much he loved him back.
((ooc: both out))