Confessional

Thaddeus stretched his fingers in the stiff leather gloves and watched the Manor retreat into the distance, wondering when it would be safe to return and knowing in the back of his mind that he likely never truly would, not in the same sense anyway. His homecoming had been eventful to say the least, but already there was an underlying feeling of...moving on. Never completely; this had been his home for much of his life and he would certainly be there on a quite regular basis. He wondered, though, if he would feel like a visitor.

When he returned to the Grey Estate after his parents passed away he had been surprised as how well he still knew the halls, the rooms, even as altered as they were over time. He supposed some things just became so ingrained that one couldn't lose the knowledge even if they tried. Even so, he had known on the most basic level that this was not his home.

He shook his head to clear his mixed feelings, reasoning that it was likely perfectly normal to feel some sadness at leaving one's home, even while being deliriously happy to be moving on to a new one, but wallowing was completely unacceptable. Smiling, he moved to take his place next to Alfarinn, fitting himself easily in his companion's arms. He supposed he should have known better than to sit anywhere else.

He listened quietly as his companion spoke, considering. Alfarinn seemed...tense, and his words indicated he had been carrying a weight of some sort.

"I rather suspected Morrigan knew more than she was telling us."Â?

Thaddeus reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Alfarinn's ear, wondering in the back of his mind if he was developing a habit and deciding there were worse things he could do.

"Alfarinn, you can tell me anything."Â? He looked thoughtful for a moment. "As undesirable as the thought of more bad news is...I generally prefer to know. And..."Â? He frowned for a moment. "We are in this together. You should not have to go through any part of this alone."Â?

He wondered in the back of his mind if Alfarinn believed he would react badly to the news. Did he normally take things so poorly? Why had Morrigan told Alfarinn and not himself? He supposed he was aware that he was not an easy person to...deal with...at times, but he was beginning to feel a little 'handled'.

Though that was hardly the point. Both Alfarinn and Morrigan had his best interests at heart and in any case his companion was trying to tell him the news that had been delayed only a single night. A night very well spent in his mind. He quieted his thoughts and simply listened.

Alfarinn smiled ruefully, there was no use in delaying the inevitable but he still wanted to assure his companion of his reasons. He supposed it was to salve his own conscience as much as to prepare Thaddeus for the news.

"Yes, very much in this together and believe me I know how strong you are." He gave his partner a little half smile and continued. "In fact, I'd say you are one of the strongest people I've ever met. Your fortitude and dignity are inspiring, Thaddeus."

He paused thoughtfully, not knowing how best to explain.

" Its just that... it was an added weight to a night filled with more than its fair share.. and perhaps it was for my own benefit as well... I don't think I could have handled giving you more bad news last night and I wanted to see you get some rest finally."

Alfarinn reached out and tentatively took his companion's hand, taking the gloved one into his own. He was still feeling guilty for having made such a decision on Thaddeus's behalf and keeping something so important from him for even so short a time.

"I care about you and I suppose that will make me protective of you." Alfarinn lowered his head and looked out the window for a moment before turning back to Thaddeus. "Ok, I don't just suppose. I know that it is true. It is a part of my nature and I hope you don't find it too terribly trying. It is simply because I love you and not because I think you aren't capable, please believe me on that."

Alfarinn fell silent and waited for Thaddeus to speak his mind.

Thaddeus bit his lip in thought, studying his shoes for a moment before meeting Alfarinn's eyes. He was worried now, though it was a useless feeling considering he did not yet know the cause for Alfarinn's concern.

"Of course I believe you."Â? He wrapped his free hand around Alfarinn's arm. "I love and trust you, Alfarinn; I do believe that puts me in the position of understanding exactly where you are coming from, in all honesty. How could I find you trying?"Â?

"I did need the rest. What I need most of all, though, is you."Â? He placed a soft kiss on Alfarinn's neck before continuing. "I worry, in all honesty, that you will be protective of me at your own expense. You needed rest too, after all. I suppose sleep is not a matter of life or death, but the next situation could be."Â? He shook his head. "I cannot, however, say that I would not have done the same thing in your place. If you felt this could wait a day, I trust your judgment and appreciate you telling me now."Â?

He gave the hand entwined in his a light squeeze. "I find it is better to know, but I can understand waiting for the right time. How could I not, considering your intentions and my own feelings?"Â?

He continued to worry his lower lip, thinking of the dangers ahead. More significantly, though, he considered any number of impossible decisions that must be made in an instant, with no necessary right or wrong, but each with their own set of consequences. In the heat of the moment, would Alfarinn protect Thaddeus over himself? Thaddeus knew his own mind on the matter, and wondered in an admittedly absurd fashion if that meant their well intentioned recklessness would balance out. Sighing, he looked down at their joined hands.

"Now I'm worried, though. Perhaps you should tell me this bad news before my imagination gets the better of me."Â?

Alfarinn listened to Thaddeus with some measure of relief at his partner's understanding. He watched Thaddeus bite his lip thoughtfully between statements and before he got on with his own speech, Alfarinn tilted his companion's chin up so he could kiss it gently.

"I believe a certain person once told me that he had no intention of dieing. I assure you that I don't either. I can't promise to always be cautious but I can say that I plan on continuing to live, certainly now that I have got you to live for. I believe we are each focused on both of us coming out of this situation as best we may and that's all we can do."

He smiled softly and hugged Thaddeus tighter to him a moment before getting on with the news. With a deep sigh, Alfarinn began.

"Morrigan told me that after Emma's death she had searched for the murderer as well. Certain people had more motive than others and those she continued to follow even though there was little to nothing to prove anyone's guilt. One of the things that she found and always thought odd was that Sorin kept another apartment. More than one actually, he has one in the city near the theater but another one as well...within sight of the House of Pain."

Alfarinn looked at his companion a moment before continuing.

"I know you are going to tell me that this is hardly proof of guilt but I think we must be realistic about this. Sorin had the motive, the means and now this. His feelings for Emma were...complicated but at the core of them I believe he always felt slighted and patronized."

There was little more to say and he would rather know Thaddeus's thoughts on the matter. Alfarinn didn't want his companion to think that he happily jumped at Sorin's guilt simply because of his dislike of the man. The truth was, knowing how much Sorin meant to Thaddeus, Alfarinn was actually, after all these years, hoping he was innocent.

Thaddeus leaned into the kiss, finding a measure of comfort in the gesture though his worries did not fade. Alfarinn's comments, though, did put his mind to rest on one matter at least. There was nothing more they could do save stay determined and keep their wits about them, and it was quite likely that having something to live for helped more than it hindered.

Then Alfarinn explained his news, which brought a whole new set troubles. He raised one eyebrow when his companion preemptively responded to the point he had yet to bring up, though it was certainly on his mind. Then he rubbed his chin in thought. A few times in his musing he made to speak, only to fall quiet again, keeping his internal debate to himself while he worked out Alfarinn's statements in his mind.

Be realistic. Thaddeus was good at that to a fault; some might even go as far as to say he was downright pessimistic, paranoid even, though he naturally thought he was...mostly reasonable.

While the means were clearly there, that was nothing new. The apartment, however, was...disturbing. Thaddeus hardly considered himself a confidante of Sorin's, but the additional apartment seemed like something he ought to have known about. At least the Triad should have known. While there were reasonable explanations for keeping such a haven secret, there was the location to think about. He decided that matter was inconclusive at best.

The motive, though, was the real area of debate. It would be foolish -not- to consider Emma's replacement as a likely candidate, -if- one did not take into account Sorin's temperament. Sorin had never shown himself to be a power hungry individual; in fact Thaddeus had often found himself sympathizing with the Elder on that account. And he couldn't have known for certain he was next in line in any case.

That left Sorin's personal feelings for Emma. And had Thaddeus not felt patronized at times with Sorin? He knew he was sensitive to that, all too aware of feeling handled or humored...such tensions were no reason to kill a person, for heaven's sake.

He took a calming breath, realizing the suggestion had upset him more than he had realized. Doing his best to remain rational, he made to speak his thoughts...then fell quiet again.

He would admit that to a third party, on the surface, Sorin looked more than a little guilty. But there were so many things that simply did not make sense. Why would Sorin befriend him, take him under his wing even, hell, claim Thaddeus was like a son to him, if he was responsible for his Creator's death? It was...sick, perverse really, to go out of one's way to become a Mentor to the person whose -life- you had turned upside down. He had trouble imagining anyone having the capacity to do such a thing.

And if Alfarinn and Morrigan's suspicions proved true...he had never been more deeply wrong about anything in his life, and that was saying something; he had been wrong about plenty. If this was true...Thaddeus shuddered to imagine what else he might have been wrong about.

But more importantly right now was the question of what else Sorin was hiding. There would be an accounting with Sorin, one way or another, when this was over. Thaddeus knew he would have a great deal of explaining to do to his Elder. He would need to tell Sorin why he had kept his search secret, why he had come so close to telling him everything only to stop himself every time. And now he would also need to explain why, exactly, he and Alfarinn had broken into Sorin's apartment.

Either that, or Sorin would have some explaining to do. Thaddeus actually found himself hoping it was the former option, though he did not exactly relish the thought.

"Nothing is sacred."Â? He shook his head. "We will need to look into the apartment."Â?

He was not quite certain if it was the sound of his voice, which sounded nowhere near as clear and certain as his thoughts, or simply a delayed reaction of sorts. He leaned forward, putting his head in his hand, gritting his teeth against emotions he simply could not afford to feel right now. He needed to be impartial, reasonable, realistic. Instead he was feeling quite useless and unhelpful things that would certainly get them absolutely nowhere; guilt at his own betrayal of his Elder, for even considering this was a betrayal in his mind. Some mix of grief and anger at the thought of Alfarinn's suspicions being true. A great deal of confusion.

"Hell."Â? He shoved himself back upright and leaned on Alfarinn's shoulder rather than his own hand.

Alfarinn watched Thaddeus muse in silence, feeling a great deal of sympathy and no small amount of a guilt at the myriad of emotions that his companion went through. He could have waited a bit longer, perhaps this had been too soon and putting his own conscience at ease was a poor substitute for causing Thaddeus more pain than necessary.

Holding him close, Alfarinn ran a hand gently up and down Thaddeus's arm.

" This is more than you should have to bear, Beloved."

He kissed Thaddeus lightly on the head, wishing for all the world that he could take some of the pain and worry away.

"It needs to be done. I can do it alone. You need not betray your friend and elder's trust" Alfarinn added with a dark snort. "And it wouldn't exactly change the status of the friendship between him and I."

After a moment, he sighed softly and said.

"For what it is worth, I do hope we're wrong."

Thaddeus sighed and rubbed his cheek gently on Alfarinn's shoulder, his nerves slowly calming. He was beginning to sink into a more resigned feeling of general sadness and a good helping of self pity when Alfarinn offered up his suggestion of going to the apartment alone.

For a moment he was too shocked to speak and simply pulled away to regard Alfarinn with a look of absolute incredulity. Was the man joking? No...he seemed entirely serious.

To the surprise of no one more than himself, he smiled.

"Well -that's- not going to happen."Â? He slipped one arm around Alfarinn, chuckling. "Do you think I'm out of my mind? Yes, you should go alone to a rival Elder's secret apartment, where he's doing God only knows what with God only knows whom and, by the way, could show up at any time. Oh, but you've forgotten one thing; where exactly are you going to get the -army- it would take to keep me from coming with you?"Â?

Planting a soft kiss on Alfarinn's neck, he continued. "I certainly hope we are wrong as well. But just think if we are! Who knows what that apartment is used for? It could be some sort of...Den of Sin."Â? He pulled a face at that thought. Though Sorin having a...certain sort of retreat was certainly an improvement over their current theory...this was his Elder they were talking about. "I cannot believe I just said that. In any case..."Â? he crossed his arms over his chest and set his jaw "...I cannot allow you to go to a Den of Sin alone. It would not be the act of a good influence."Â?

Realizing he was not exactly making a good case for his own state of mind at the moment and that the situation did not really call for his brand of dark humor, his expression softened. Alfarinn had been trying to help in a difficult situation, and Thaddeus felt a rush of affection for his companion at that thought. In truth, the suggestion had scared him at a time when he was already more than a little shaken. The whole situation had become so extreme that Thaddeus supposed flippancy was the natural reaction, but it was not particuarly helpful to anyone.

"In all seriousness...I would much rather you did not go alone."Â? He ran one gloved hand upward along Alfarinn's jaw line before pulling him close and kissing him soundly.

[We are in this together.]

Alfarinn looked at Thaddeus who seemed to be regarding him as if he had suddenly started spouting love poems in klingon.

He raised both eyebrows at his companion's determined statement that he would do no such thing. Alfarinn reflected that it had been a long time since someone had told him what he wouldn't be doing and, far from being restrictive, the idea of Thaddeus having some say in his life, was endearing. He supposed he didn't answer to too many people in this world, anwering to his lover was something he could gladly do, after all Thaddeus only has his well being in mind.

"It would take a whole army? You must be determined."

He laughed softly at the idea of the apartment being used by Sorin for some strange sex acts. Hugging his companion, Alfarinn had to admire Thaddeus's ability to find some humor in even the toughest situations.

"So you'll protect me then? That is good. I'm innocent, you know, I'd hate to be defiled by strange women and who knows what else that might be in there."

He leaned into the hand across his jaw and closed his eye briefly at the kiss.

[Yes, we are. I believe you are very good for me, Thaddeus Grey.]

Thaddeus pulled away from the kiss, though he continued stroking along Alfarinn's chin with his thumb, grinning in a somewhat chagrinned fashion now that he had, quite literally, cooled down. Perhaps he had overreacted just a little, however good his intentions, but he was too relieved at Alfarinn's apparent agreement to worry much.

"I am quite determined. And while I am making sweeping declarations, there will be no defiling."Â? He nodded firmly at this assertion, smirking. "I shall have to guard your virtue quite closely indeed."Â?

He leaned back into the seat, thoughtful once more.

"I really will get no peace until we confirm or deny our suspicions. I know it is likely best to deal with The Wolf first and foremost but the longer we wait...the greater our disadvantage, in my mind. If our suspicions are correct, Sorin has seen us together and I fear he would have reason to believe we are investigating Emma's murder. If we are wrong, it is better to know now so that we can move on to other theories."Â?

He gave Alfarinn's hand a squeeze. "I suppose for now we must face the enemy we know. I just wish for once -we- were the ones who were one step ahead."Â?

Alfarinn smiled at his companion's affirmation that his virtue
was to be guarded personally and at his apparent acceptance of
Alfarinn's choice not to explain the information to him
immediately.

"Well, I am...not glad that you know but relieved to have told you.
It does put my own mind a little more at rest. I just wish that
peace of mind didn't come at the expense of yours."

He leaned his cheek against Thaddeus and thought about what he said.

"I do agree that we need to handle this situation quickly. If Sorin
is the second person then he must suspect that our being together is
bad news for him. He won't have much time. Never before has the
ring been found and he... if he is the one who had it, and therefore
the one who dropped it, must know that it, in the hands of a person
with psychometry, was bound to lead to clues that had not been able
to gotten before. He also knows of my own ability and seeing us
together, one can conclude you trust me, if that were the case, there
is no telling how much more information two psychometrists were able
to pick up over just the one."

Alfarinn frowned in thought.

"I can only conclude, like we thought before, that the person who
dropped the ring meant for you to find it and knew that you had
abilities to do something with it. That would also point to someone
in Anantya, as you are rather more private in what you are capable of
than most." Alfarinn smiled and squeezed his companion's hand.
"That does also point to Sorin as a possibility. Still its
risky to have put it in your hands, I guess the hope was that the
Wolf would be the most intense impression on the ring and one of the
most recent and there would be little of the second person's
involvement on it, the person could have counted on it being vague at
worst or even better, not there at all. Very risky...I wonder why it
was dropped. Maybe the Wolf was going to expose this second person?"

Most of this they are already spoken of but the added thought
that this second person was Sorin cleared up possible motive and
means but also made it more dangerous for them than ever, as Sorin
was likely to known exactly what they've been looking into and what
they might find. In a way he was glad of his involvement in this
search for another previously overlooked reason, it was sad but
unfortunately true that Thaddeus would be easier to dispose of, any
of a number of accidents or even an attack was possible and it would
cause less of a stir. An elder of one of the clans coming up dead
would start an investigation no matter how it appeared that he died
and while someone got away with murdering an elder once before [so
far] they would be pressing their luck to try again. The both of
them together would be very difficult to silence and that was a small
comfort but at least it was something.

He shook his head to clear it of its wandering ways and got back to
the task at hand.

"Not any of that helps our current problem though. I imagine that we
need to simply deal with the Wolf as quickly as possible and see what
we can do about looking into this apartment. If after the death of
the Wolf no one makes an immediate move to suggest another person
involved then perhaps the second person will think the matter died
with Lykaios and become over confident...or at least feel safer."

Alfarinn sighed and added his agreement to Thaddeus's statement.

"Being the ones with more information, for once, would be nice."

Thaddeus smiled softly and shook his head. "I am glad you told me, and not only for your own sake. It is better that I know; I would frankly prefer to be aware and concerned than ignorant and dead."Â?

His hand found its place in long hair as Alfarinn leaned on his shoulder, and he stroked absently as he mused over his companion's words. "I would tend to agree; if we are correct, Sorin would have cause for concern in seeing us together, especially considering he was the one who mentioned Evenhet in connection with Emma's murder in the first place. He chuckled darkly and shook his head. "We probably should not tell him that in a way...he was responsible for bringing us together; I doubt he would take the news well."Â?

Though he spoke lightly enough, his own words gave him pause and he rubbed at his chin in thought. "Sorin does not care for Evenhet...I am not certain of how deep his dislike runs, but we know that whoever is responsible, Sorin or otherwise, tried to frame either you personally or Evenhet at large. Or both."Â? He frowned. "I suppose one can ultimately make the motives work either way at this point, but that is...a mark against him I suppose.

He tilted his head back on the seat, musing over the next piece of the puzzle. "Indeed...why would Sorin drop the ring when so many things could go wrong?"Â? He lifted his head just a little, smirking. "Unless multiple outcomes were acceptable. In any case, the things that could go wrong with this plan are resolved easily enough."Â?

Nodding in agreement with Alfarinn's conclusion, his smirk fell just a little. "Yes, I know I would rather focus on one person trying to kill me at a time."Â? He gave Alfarinn's hand a light squeeze. "And on that note...we really should call Simon."Â?

He pulled out his phone and passed it from one hand to the other, thinking, before looking at Alfarinn again. "I hope to God it isn't Sorin. If it is, though...he shook his head..."Â?hell...I just don't know what I'll do."Â? He bit his lip. "Well, that is not entirely true...I think I know so well it scares me."Â?

Alfarinn nodded

"I enjoy you very much alive, thank you, which is a good enough reason to tell you as soon as possible along with not wishing to keep anything from you. Though I would keep the pain of it from you if I could."

He smiled at the ironic thought of Sorin bringing them together. It was true enough, who else would have sent Thaddeus looking into Evenhet? Even should the man be innocent of the murder of Emma, Alfarinn was still certain that Sorin was the one who set his companion on the path that would lead him to asking an elder of Evenhet to meet him in the museum. Perhaps he should send the man a gift basket and a thank you card. He smirked at his own bitter humor and pushed the thoughts away as he continued to listen to Thaddeus.

" I suppose I should be flattered that thinking ill of me is a mark against someone." Alfarinn kissed his companion lightly before continuing. "In truth it makes me somewhat uncomfortable. Not that I am being framed, though that isn't the best news I've ever heard but that someone's innocence or guilt may in part depend on how they think of me."

He wasn't sure that came out very clearly but let it drop as his companion continued speaking and picked up his phone. Thaddeus was charming to him in his now easy acceptance of the device. Alfarinn well remembered the Anantya looking uncomfortable with its use.

Hearing Thaddeus comment darkly about what he would do, even finding that the person who ordered Emma's murder was Sorin gave him pause. He understood the feeling all too well, there are some things that cannot be forgiven. Alfarinn put his arms around Thaddeus and held him close.

"I know. I'll be right here with you though."

Thaddeus waved his hand, shaking his head. "I merely meant that Sorin's dislike of Evenhet does not put him in a favorable light in this instance; I am not for hanging the man based on his political opinions."Â?

He leaned into the offered embrace for a moment, resting his head on Alfarinn's shoulder and looking out the window as the scenery sailed by.

He wondered what sort man he would be when he came out on the other side of this. Answers were not forthcoming, however; he supposed he would find out soon enough. Knowing that Alfarinn would be with him in this was a comfort, and he could only hope by the end he was still worthy of being loved by this phenomenal man.

His worries, however, assumed that he would actually be able to go through with taking a life, something he was not certain he could do. While not a stranger to killing, this situation was quite different. Was it vengeance or justice? Necessity or desire?

It was a matter he would have to wrestle with at another time.

He lifted the phone to his ear and hit the speed dial for Simon.

Simon sat quietly in the darkness of his office. The only light was the white glare from his LCD monitor. It panned thru the many cameras located within the domicile. He watched his clan children walking in and out. The clan was growing at a rapid pace. He rested his chin in his hand and tapped his soft lips with his index finger.

Simon closed his eyes for a moment, trying to remember the smell of his old home. The one he had before he died.

Suddenly his cell phone beeped at him. The vibrating bit of chrome and metal beckoned him to answer. He reached into his breast pocket and pulled the phone out. Flipping it opened he answered with a monotoned declaration of who he was.

'Simon here.'

Thaddeus leaned back on the seat, switching the phone to his other ear to better wrap one arm around his companion.

Simon answered promptly in a flat voice, and he found himself wondering what further adventures the Tacharan might have faced in course of the previous long night.

"Good evening. Thaddeus Grey speaking."Â? He supposed that was likely enough in the way of formalities, and plowed ahead, keeping his tone neutral in case Simon was not alone. "We have new information regarding our mutual friend. Can we meet?"Â? It was likely best to say little more over the phone; The Wolf and his accomplice were already enough steps ahead of them.

Simon dipped his head and grinned slightly at Thaddeus' voice. 'Thaddeus, yes, of course.' He stood and tapped his fingers on the desk top. They were getting closer to the finish now. Seems like a lifetime had passed since he had talked to Alfarinn and his new friend. It would be a welcomed change.

Simon turned off his monitor. 'Name the place.' As he straightened his jacket, he walked out the door towards the sewer exit of the Domicile.

Thaddeus chewed on his lower lip, considering. He had thought Simon would wish to name the place, but the choice was left to him. Where, exactly, was the last place one would expect to find an Anantya, an Evenhet, and a Tacharan? There really ought to be a place where those in opposing clans could meet in safety...

A smile crossed his lips.

"There is a Chapel near the waterfront, at thirty first and Pratt. At this hour it should be both safe and private."Â?

He turned to Alfarinn, raising one eyebrow.

[I suppose now is as good a time as any. Unless you have objections?]

Alfarinn held Thaddeus and listened with half his attention to the conversation with Simon, the other portion was spent gazing out the window wondering what news they would find of the Wolf and thinking ahead to what action they'd need to take in order to follow and confront him.

When Thaddeus mentioned the church, Alfarinn smiled and looked back at his companion. Kissing him gently on the head, he sent.

[That is perfectly fine with me. It is somehow auspicious I believe that we should meet there together with a Tacharan the first time we set foot on the premises.]

He was amused at the omen, even if it were of Thaddeus's own making, a representative of each of the largest group of vampires coming together in a common purpose and if any vampire might have need of such sanctuary as they were planning later, it could quite likely be Simon. He did not envy the man's own set of problems and he hoped they'd find them resolved soon.

Simon entered the elevator and used the manual controls instead of the voice settings to direct it. 'That's fine, I'll be there within the half hour.' He hung up the phone by flipping it closed against his chest and tucked it into his inside jacket pocket.

He closed his eyes for a moment and listened to the soft hum of the elevator. A church. It had been so long since he had been in one. In his human life he was a devout protestant. He tried to remember what his village's church looked like before Ellis killed him. His eyes squinted hard and he balled his fists up. He remembered why he had not thought about it for so long.

It was because he could not remember.

Thaddeus smiled up at Alfarinn, pleased.

[We are of the same mind then.] Indeed, the more he thought about it, the more he felt meeting at the church was oddly appropriate, though he privately doubted any of the clergy would share that view.

"Very well; we will meet you on the steps."Â?

Uncertain if his closing comments had been heard but deciding it likely did not matter, Thaddeus closed the small white mobile and slipped it back into his pocket. Lacing his fingers with Alfarinn's, he returned to watching the scenery go by as the limo approached the waterfront.

/ooc outie outie