Rowan stood at the bottom of the stairs in Cris's apartment... a place he was rapidly starting to think of as 'home' when he shouldn't. He hadn't been invited to. But it felt good here. Only a few nights with Cris and he knew he didn't want to leave. So maybe he was being a little pickier than he would normally be while bed shopping. This mattress was too hard, that one was too soft... not his fault!
It was compounded by the fact that while he'd been gone for his shift at the hospital, Cris had had Rowan's handprint keyed to the home so he could enter and leave without asking permission from MARI. That more than anything else had touched him. Well, almost anything. Most of all it had been waking up next to Cris, curled around him or the other way around, tangled up together in sleepy perfection.
Forever did sound pretty good.
This was the first time they were going out Cris's style, with his partner disguised. Rowan knew it meant a lot to Cris to have this part of his nature accepted. He had thought about it a great deal since Cris had informed him of this particular quirk of his. He'd claimed it wouldn't bother him, but part of him had wondered if it would after all. He was nervous about it but not, he imagined, as nervous as Cris must be. As the time for their meeting with Alfarinn drew closer Rowan found himself waiting anxiously, not out of nerves, but because he was eager to see Cris... in any guise. It had ceased to bother him at all, how Cris dressed or how he acted. After all, it was still Cris at the end of the night.
He heard Cris coming down the stairs and turned to look up them, arms crossed, still leaning against the wall. Raising his eyebrows, he unconsciously stood upright, uncrossing his arms and straightening his shirt. Cris was... gorgeous.
"Oh my god."
This woman wasn't Cris. She looked so utterly different. Her demeanor, her carriage, everything about her was so not-Cris he was stunned. Until she spoke, and that soft, feminine, shy yet sultry voice spoke Cris's words.
Rowan heard the uncertainty in that voice and because this was important, he opened himself up, gathered Cris's emotions to him to feel what Cris felt with a nearly inaudible hiss of pain. He was surprised by the depths of uncertainty. Fear, really, almost strong enough to freeze him where he stood. Fear of rejection, fear of performing. There was hope there too, but it was difficult to find beneath the weight of that encroaching terror.
It was that fear that prompted Rowan to meet Cris at the bottom of the stairs even as the force of Christian's fear seared a hot trail over his chest. He took Cris's hand, the one that wasn't holding the red clutch purse, raised it to his lips, and pressed them gently to the palm rather than the knuckles. He drew Cris close, looking into a pair of bewitching green eyes different in color but not in expression from the blue ones he was growing so used to.
Rowan remembered to breathe as his tamped his empathy back down to a cinder and snuffed it out entirely. His expression was serious as he looked down at Cris (slightly less down, thanks to a pair of fairly sexy red heels). Still holding Cris's hand, Rowan said, "I still think you're beautiful."
He had used the term to describe Cris before and it still applied. He meant more by it than the superficial; he did find Cris beautiful inside and out. Tonight was no different.
"See?" He smiled down at Cris and opened himself, losing himself in a glamour of warmth, love, and desire that he sent to his partner. There was calm there too, if Cris wanted to bolster himself with it. There was no shame in being nervous, and no shame in taking the support someone who cared offered. Behind that, there was a hint of excitement, a little anticipation. Rowan wasn't nervous... he was looking forward to this. He was a flirt by nature. Here, he could indulge in that little flaw without hurting Cris. Because while he wanted no one else, it was still natural to him to want to play the game. And Cris was the perfect playmate, he realized. This could so work for them.
The Big Reveal (Private)
Cris had closed himself up in his room while he got ready, wanting his choice of look to be a surprise to his partner. He had, of course, made certain that a disguise was okay with Rowan for their date before beginning on this venture. It still filled him with trepidation as he leaned over the bathroom counter to get closer to his reflection while he carefully applied eyeliner and then mascara to complete his look.
Regarding himself critically in the mirror, Christian decided that he would not be put off to be standing next to the person he saw in the glass. The honey blonde wig had lighter highlights streaked into the long straight hair. The short blue one shouldered dress had a high waist and was made of a flirty floating sheer silk that came to his mid thigh. He bent down, running a hand over his recently shaved legs, one more time, making certain they were smooth before stepping into the red high heeled sandals and buckling the ankle straps. It was one thing to accept his look in passing, it was another thing to be intimately involved with the man who had the disturbing habit of wearing disguises and playing parts as a past time. It was not normal. He wondered how Rowan could possibly be okay with it for about the hundredth time this evening. There was only one way to find out; he could change clothes if he needed to. In fact, Cris had another set of clothing laying out a chair, pants, dress shirt, all normal Cris clothes (At least Rowan was reminding him who normal Cris was. He had begun to wonder if that man was lost.) With one last look, and a deep breath for courage, Cris picked up the little red clutch and walked down the stairs to find his date.
He smiled hesitantly at Rowan and spoke with a quiet feminine voice, uncertainty colouring his expression.
"Well, what do you think?"
((OOC: Sorry Alfarinn. We're hurrying, promise. ))
Rowan Murphy
13 years ago
Christian Bern
13 years ago
Rowan's first reaction was reassuring, Cris smiled and ducked his head shyly. He focused his attention on his lover's aura, seeking further confirmation that what he inferred was indeed true. There was no rejection in his partner's emotions, only love, desire, and a bit of nervousness that was fading away.
It changed before his eyes, becoming dark and cloudy with fear in two different shades of brownish black, both his own and Rowan's. That combination and the other colours that mirrored his own emotions told him that his partner had invoked his own painful ability. Cris rushed down the rest of the stairs, concern colouring his expression even as his lover's aura changed once again, this time reflecting warmth, lust, excitement, confidence and a calm that completely replaced the nervousness from before.
He accepted the glamour, the kiss and the compliment with a sigh of relief. Placing his arm around Rowan's neck, Cris pulled him close. Tossing the long strands of hair over his shoulders and away from his face with a gentle shake of his head, he then gazed into his lover's eyes. "I see. I wish you didn't have to feel pain on my account but thank you for being concerned about me." Leaning up, he kissed Rowan tenderly, before stepping back so that his lover could get a better look.
With a flirty smile, he tilted his head to the side and asked. "So this is acceptable?" Yes, he was shamelessly asking for another compliment. Hopefully that was not so terrible.
"I have done this persona several times before. I figured that you might like her." Cris thought about what to explain. "Crystal Schreiber is an administrative assistant. Normally she's very organized and detailed oriented but in her free time she likes to simply go where the fun takes her. " He shrugged a bare shoulder. "She can be a bit of flirt. You've been warned." Cris smiled but then turned serious again. "Is this really okay, Rowan? Is there anything else you want to know?"
He stepped forward again and wrapped his arms around his partner, resting his head on Rowan's shoulder. Cris wanted it to be okay but he wanted Rowan more.
It changed before his eyes, becoming dark and cloudy with fear in two different shades of brownish black, both his own and Rowan's. That combination and the other colours that mirrored his own emotions told him that his partner had invoked his own painful ability. Cris rushed down the rest of the stairs, concern colouring his expression even as his lover's aura changed once again, this time reflecting warmth, lust, excitement, confidence and a calm that completely replaced the nervousness from before.
He accepted the glamour, the kiss and the compliment with a sigh of relief. Placing his arm around Rowan's neck, Cris pulled him close. Tossing the long strands of hair over his shoulders and away from his face with a gentle shake of his head, he then gazed into his lover's eyes. "I see. I wish you didn't have to feel pain on my account but thank you for being concerned about me." Leaning up, he kissed Rowan tenderly, before stepping back so that his lover could get a better look.
With a flirty smile, he tilted his head to the side and asked. "So this is acceptable?" Yes, he was shamelessly asking for another compliment. Hopefully that was not so terrible.
"I have done this persona several times before. I figured that you might like her." Cris thought about what to explain. "Crystal Schreiber is an administrative assistant. Normally she's very organized and detailed oriented but in her free time she likes to simply go where the fun takes her. " He shrugged a bare shoulder. "She can be a bit of flirt. You've been warned." Cris smiled but then turned serious again. "Is this really okay, Rowan? Is there anything else you want to know?"
He stepped forward again and wrapped his arms around his partner, resting his head on Rowan's shoulder. Cris wanted it to be okay but he wanted Rowan more.
Rowan Murphy
13 years ago
Rowan allowed himself to be pulled close to Cris, gazed into his brilliant green eyes, and returned the soft kiss, careful not to mar the carefully applied makeup. Then he shook his head.
"I don't have to feel pain on your account Cris," he said very softly, "but I care for you and I want to be here for you. In all things. I want to understand everything."
As Cris stepped back Rowan admired the playful smile, stepped back himself to get a better look at the woman before him. "More than acceptable, a ghra," he said, using the Irish endearment he only ever used with Cris anymore. "You're amazing in any form."
He stepped close to Cris again, listening to the description of this particular persona. He grinned at the flirtatious description as well as the little warning. He said, in response, "It's truly a pleasure to meet you, Crystal. Or, it will be soon."
As Cris became serious once more Rowan furrowed his brow in concern. Was Cris not reading his aura at the moment? "Look at me, Cris," he said as his lover drew close and rested his head against Rowan's shoulder.
Rowan wrapped his arms around Cris, stroking his back gently. "I adore you. Everything you are. Anything you need, anything that fulfills those needs, I want to provide."
He dropped a kiss onto the honey-gold hair, trailed his fingertips lightly along Cris's cheek. "Are you all right with this? I know you don't normally share this part of yourself. You don't know how much it means to me that you're willing to let me in. But you don't have to. It won't change a single thing about how I feel for you."
Rowan held Cris tightly, seeking to soothe his partner's worries. "You might need to steer me right. This is new to me and I want to make sure I'm doing it the way you want. But I think we'll have fun together and I'm looking forward to this."
Cris only had to look at him to know the truth of Rowan's words. There would be plenty of times when Rowan needed Cris to help him, to understand him, and to be there for him. Rowan was genuinely pleased to do this with Cris, to be welcome in this part of his life.
"I don't have to feel pain on your account Cris," he said very softly, "but I care for you and I want to be here for you. In all things. I want to understand everything."
As Cris stepped back Rowan admired the playful smile, stepped back himself to get a better look at the woman before him. "More than acceptable, a ghra," he said, using the Irish endearment he only ever used with Cris anymore. "You're amazing in any form."
He stepped close to Cris again, listening to the description of this particular persona. He grinned at the flirtatious description as well as the little warning. He said, in response, "It's truly a pleasure to meet you, Crystal. Or, it will be soon."
As Cris became serious once more Rowan furrowed his brow in concern. Was Cris not reading his aura at the moment? "Look at me, Cris," he said as his lover drew close and rested his head against Rowan's shoulder.
Rowan wrapped his arms around Cris, stroking his back gently. "I adore you. Everything you are. Anything you need, anything that fulfills those needs, I want to provide."
He dropped a kiss onto the honey-gold hair, trailed his fingertips lightly along Cris's cheek. "Are you all right with this? I know you don't normally share this part of yourself. You don't know how much it means to me that you're willing to let me in. But you don't have to. It won't change a single thing about how I feel for you."
Rowan held Cris tightly, seeking to soothe his partner's worries. "You might need to steer me right. This is new to me and I want to make sure I'm doing it the way you want. But I think we'll have fun together and I'm looking forward to this."
Cris only had to look at him to know the truth of Rowan's words. There would be plenty of times when Rowan needed Cris to help him, to understand him, and to be there for him. Rowan was genuinely pleased to do this with Cris, to be welcome in this part of his life.
Christian Bern
13 years ago
Rowan's words were very convincing; he smiled softly up into the grey-green eyes that were so earnestly focused on him. Cris nodded that he understood; he figured if his partner kept reassuring him then eventually he'd even believe it.
Shaking his head, no, he answered Rowan's questions. "I -want- to share this with you. I hope that you enjoy it and not just because I do." He sighed and placed his head back on his lover's shoulder. "Its strange. That's all. I feel that I am asking a lot of you."
The arms around him felt good, comforting and a little of the tension eased from his shoulders. [You are so good to me.] He squeezed Rowan a little tighter, not yet wanting to let him go, even while he explained himself. Closing his eyes, Cris shrugged. "I don't know either. I've never shared this with anyone except Alfarinn and he found out on his own. Perhaps..." He leaned back and looked up at his lover. "Perhaps outwardly I can be Crystal." Mentally he sent the rest. [and inwardly I can be Cris. So both versions of me are here with you.] He thought he could manage that. It would be like being both the actor and the director in his own play. Christian knew that often it worked like that for him. He didn't always tune every part of himself out. He still thought of exits, holds, escape routes, targets and plenty of other things that were job related. It was extremely difficult to let all of that go; a lot of it was instinct. In very rare moments, he lost himself completely in a persona but those times were actually few and far between. He sought those with a passion that bordered on obsession. He wanted to forget himself for a brief span of time and be someone who was free to feel and express it openly.
Until now he had not realized exactly why he sought that particular experience with such determination. It all made sense now. Those rare moments when he truly lost himself in a character were so craved because he was letting himself experience their hopes, wants and fears and giving himself a chance to something about them, even for a short time. And because he never formed attachments, even as a persona, the perfect situation was hard to achieve. He never truly understood what was missing and he tried hard to find that formula that would allow him to repeat it each time . Cris snorted quietly in disbelief. Now that he figured it out...
He didn't need it anymore.
Not like before, not since Rowan came into his life. He was not ready to give his cast of characters up completely. Christian enjoyed playing a different part for a while, seeing a different self through other people's eyes. It still allowed him to be things that he was not normally.
"I can't promise I won't get caught up in a role but you can always say something to me. Please do if I am making you uncomfortable somehow." He had chosen Crystal for several reasons, one of which was that she was easy to get along with, not all of his personas were so nice. "I imagine that I will need to be myself for some of our dinner with Alfarinn anyway since he will probably want to talk about how we met and see just what kind of man is dating his young impressionable daughter." Cris flashed Rowan an impish grin.
"Do you need anything else before we go?"
Shaking his head, no, he answered Rowan's questions. "I -want- to share this with you. I hope that you enjoy it and not just because I do." He sighed and placed his head back on his lover's shoulder. "Its strange. That's all. I feel that I am asking a lot of you."
The arms around him felt good, comforting and a little of the tension eased from his shoulders. [You are so good to me.] He squeezed Rowan a little tighter, not yet wanting to let him go, even while he explained himself. Closing his eyes, Cris shrugged. "I don't know either. I've never shared this with anyone except Alfarinn and he found out on his own. Perhaps..." He leaned back and looked up at his lover. "Perhaps outwardly I can be Crystal." Mentally he sent the rest. [and inwardly I can be Cris. So both versions of me are here with you.] He thought he could manage that. It would be like being both the actor and the director in his own play. Christian knew that often it worked like that for him. He didn't always tune every part of himself out. He still thought of exits, holds, escape routes, targets and plenty of other things that were job related. It was extremely difficult to let all of that go; a lot of it was instinct. In very rare moments, he lost himself completely in a persona but those times were actually few and far between. He sought those with a passion that bordered on obsession. He wanted to forget himself for a brief span of time and be someone who was free to feel and express it openly.
Until now he had not realized exactly why he sought that particular experience with such determination. It all made sense now. Those rare moments when he truly lost himself in a character were so craved because he was letting himself experience their hopes, wants and fears and giving himself a chance to something about them, even for a short time. And because he never formed attachments, even as a persona, the perfect situation was hard to achieve. He never truly understood what was missing and he tried hard to find that formula that would allow him to repeat it each time . Cris snorted quietly in disbelief. Now that he figured it out...
He didn't need it anymore.
Not like before, not since Rowan came into his life. He was not ready to give his cast of characters up completely. Christian enjoyed playing a different part for a while, seeing a different self through other people's eyes. It still allowed him to be things that he was not normally.
"I can't promise I won't get caught up in a role but you can always say something to me. Please do if I am making you uncomfortable somehow." He had chosen Crystal for several reasons, one of which was that she was easy to get along with, not all of his personas were so nice. "I imagine that I will need to be myself for some of our dinner with Alfarinn anyway since he will probably want to talk about how we met and see just what kind of man is dating his young impressionable daughter." Cris flashed Rowan an impish grin.
"Do you need anything else before we go?"
Rowan Murphy
13 years ago
Rowan continued to hold Christian close to him. He wasn't planning on letting go any time soon. The weight of Cris's head on his shoulder was a welcome one and he continued to let his hands drift gently over the unfamiliar contours of this new body; unfamiliar but not unwelcome. At Cris's words Rowan considered. He had never lied to Cris, and didn't plan to, even when the truth might be somewhat unwelcome.
"You're not asking a lot of me. You're asking me to understand," he said honestly, "but that's what a relationship is. You aren't asking for anything I'm not willing to give, and someday I'll ask you to understand something about me in return, that may not be something you normally do." He brushed his lips across Cris's forehead. "And when that day comes I hope you'll do your best too."
Rowan didn't know the intimate details of Cris's past relationship. For all he knew it was totally one-sided, or dysfunctional... whatever the case. He had a hard time believing Cris could give any less than his best in everything he did. "Just because this is unfamiliar to me, doesn't mean I don't want to be part of it. I'll do my best to get it right."
The voice in his head made him smile. [I want to be good to you. And good for you. Because you give me so much, Cris. I have to give back somehow. And in your case it thrills me to give back to you.]
Cris's continued attempts to smooth things over in spite of Rowan's ready acceptance was endearing and sweet. "Be who you want to be. Inside and out. I can handle it, Cris. We're going to have fun."
He meant that. Rowan was looking forward to this game. The worst that could happen was he got it totally wrong and Cris was disappointed and decided not to share it with him after all and...
...huh, that was kind of bad.
But, he thought with typical optimism, he didn't think it would get that bad. He really did think he and Cris would have a good time. He had one or two small concerns but Rowan figured he'd let the night play out and perhaps his concerns would become non issues. If not, he was sure he could tell Cris about them, and they would work things out.
He grinned back at Cris. Sure he was nervous about meeting Alfarinn, not because he was the leader of their Clan but because he was clearly Christian's friend, the only friend Cris had mentioned and offered to introduce him to, which made it that much more critical that he meet with Alfarinn's approval. Rowan wouldn't lie either, a small part of him worried about losing Cris to whatever persona he played. He loved Cris. His Cris would always be his favorite one.
Loved him.
Rowan smiled openly, brightly, at Cris. Or, well, Crystal. He shook his head, regret touching his eyes. "No. Any need I could voice would only mess up your makeup. And your hair. And... you get the picture."
Rowan squeezed Cris tight once more and then let him go, stepping back to a more respectable distance and offering his date his arm.
"You're not asking a lot of me. You're asking me to understand," he said honestly, "but that's what a relationship is. You aren't asking for anything I'm not willing to give, and someday I'll ask you to understand something about me in return, that may not be something you normally do." He brushed his lips across Cris's forehead. "And when that day comes I hope you'll do your best too."
Rowan didn't know the intimate details of Cris's past relationship. For all he knew it was totally one-sided, or dysfunctional... whatever the case. He had a hard time believing Cris could give any less than his best in everything he did. "Just because this is unfamiliar to me, doesn't mean I don't want to be part of it. I'll do my best to get it right."
The voice in his head made him smile. [I want to be good to you. And good for you. Because you give me so much, Cris. I have to give back somehow. And in your case it thrills me to give back to you.]
Cris's continued attempts to smooth things over in spite of Rowan's ready acceptance was endearing and sweet. "Be who you want to be. Inside and out. I can handle it, Cris. We're going to have fun."
He meant that. Rowan was looking forward to this game. The worst that could happen was he got it totally wrong and Cris was disappointed and decided not to share it with him after all and...
...huh, that was kind of bad.
But, he thought with typical optimism, he didn't think it would get that bad. He really did think he and Cris would have a good time. He had one or two small concerns but Rowan figured he'd let the night play out and perhaps his concerns would become non issues. If not, he was sure he could tell Cris about them, and they would work things out.
He grinned back at Cris. Sure he was nervous about meeting Alfarinn, not because he was the leader of their Clan but because he was clearly Christian's friend, the only friend Cris had mentioned and offered to introduce him to, which made it that much more critical that he meet with Alfarinn's approval. Rowan wouldn't lie either, a small part of him worried about losing Cris to whatever persona he played. He loved Cris. His Cris would always be his favorite one.
Loved him.
Rowan smiled openly, brightly, at Cris. Or, well, Crystal. He shook his head, regret touching his eyes. "No. Any need I could voice would only mess up your makeup. And your hair. And... you get the picture."
Rowan squeezed Cris tight once more and then let him go, stepping back to a more respectable distance and offering his date his arm.
Christian Bern
13 years ago
Cris leaned back and watched Rowan as he spoke, smiling softly and nodding, not just in understanding but also in agreement. He too believed that they should always try to understand each other and he would certainly do his best to comprehend anything and everything about his partner.
He sighed quietly as his lover continued to soothe his fears. Cris had to admit it was working. [I have never shared this before. There is no right way or wrong way. We'll sort it out together.] Rowan's cheerfulness was catching. Cris nodded when his partner assured him they were going to have fun.
"Good, Crystal does enjoy letting loose once in a while."
Laughing at the needs that would involve messing up his hair and make up, he placed a reassuring hand on his lover's arm. "Later, I promise to take care of that need. More than once, if you like."
Now he was looking forward to their night, all of it, not just the part that involved coming back here and taking care of Rowan's needs. He took his partner's arm as they walked out of the apartment and headed toward the Tower Lounge to meet Alfarinn.
((OOC: both out ))
He sighed quietly as his lover continued to soothe his fears. Cris had to admit it was working. [I have never shared this before. There is no right way or wrong way. We'll sort it out together.] Rowan's cheerfulness was catching. Cris nodded when his partner assured him they were going to have fun.
"Good, Crystal does enjoy letting loose once in a while."
Laughing at the needs that would involve messing up his hair and make up, he placed a reassuring hand on his lover's arm. "Later, I promise to take care of that need. More than once, if you like."
Now he was looking forward to their night, all of it, not just the part that involved coming back here and taking care of Rowan's needs. He took his partner's arm as they walked out of the apartment and headed toward the Tower Lounge to meet Alfarinn.
((OOC: both out ))